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belarm314

32 / M / Straight / Single

Mooresville, Indiana

His journal posts

(Untitled)

Nov 3, 2009

Which would bother you more? Finding out that your significant other has been cheating on you with the same person for several months or discovering that they have had a slew of one-night stands during the course of your relationship.
  • Cheating multiple times with the same person.
  • Having multiple one-night stands.
  • They would both upset me equally.
  • Neither one would particularly bother me.
This is an interesting question; for me, fidelity is primarily an emotional commitment. The fact that my partner has sex with someone else raises certain concerns, but a slew of one night stands would suggest to me that my partner is either not getting something they need from me, or that they have emotional troubles. A continuing sexual relationship on the side (without my knowledge) would suggest an emotional connection with the third party - and that is something which would need to be addressed quickly. ('Addressed' is not a euphemism for breaking up or laying down ultimatums; it means precisely that - to address the issue rationally and see what, if anything, needs to change in the relationship.)
Which would bother you more? Finding out that yoursignificant other has been cheating on you with the same person forseveral months or discovering that they have had a slew ofone-night stands during the course of your relationship.
  • Cheating multiple times with the sameperson.
  • Having multiple one-night stands.
  • They would both upset me equally.
  • Neither one would particularly botherme.
This is an interesting question; for me, fidelity is primarily anemotional commitment. The fact that my partner has sex with someoneelse raises certain concerns, but a slew of one night stands wouldsuggest to me that my partner is either not getting something theyneed from me, or that they have emotional troubles. A continuingsexual relationship on the side (without my knowledge) wouldsuggest an emotional connection with the third party - and that issomething which would need to be addressed quickly. ('Addressed' isnot a euphemism for breaking up or laying down ultimatums; it meansprecisely that - to address the issue rationally and see what, ifanything, needs to change in the relationship.)
An image of myotherlips I would probably assume that either the guy just either really likes women or that I'm boring in bed if he had a slew of one night stands. Either that or that he doesn't really have feelings for me that much & is with me for some other reason.

Multiple times with one partner can also indicate that they're not getting something they need. However, multiple times with another person when you're in a monogamous relationship is a complete threat to your current relationship; it either means your significant other likes them more but is holding back, or it means they're more polyamorous than they'd like to think. I think that usually it's the latter.

myotherlips commented on Nov 3, 2009

The first thing to do is get a slew of STD tests.

A former user commented on Nov 3, 2009