i took a break from this bs for a bit and now i'm back... same great product, but now with 12.65% more cynicism and few new bad jokes (up my sleeve)...

oh gee golly, where to begin? well, i am from my mom originally... thanks mom... wait... i hope you're not on here/reading this. that would be pretty awkward and just plain weird; "mom takes notes from son's online dating profile"... sounds like an onion article. oh how i love the onion (publication). i also, love the vegetable, but you have to cut them or i'll look like some lame soap star and ruin the whole dinner date. crying on the first date is never cool, even if it is from dicing some Allium cepa. it's not a tuber! - (note to self: no one gets that bad joke/reference... stop already) - oh yeah, so where was i? oh yes... i grew up in and around chicago... i was the ritalin poster child of the year in 1989 and then again in 2010. i went to school for creative writing, philosophy & photography... (see also: rad shit that unfortunately isn't super applicable in the current job market).

i co-created/co-edit a Chicago-based, literary/art magazine called two with water (www.twowithwater.com).

i like to write (verbosely), people watch & read. i enjoy takin' pics. i also like to circuit bend electronics & spray stuff w/ paint.

making music is fun. working w/ autistic children is fun too, but in a different way.

i also thoroughly enjoy autumnal weather/skies/colors/temperatures, hiking/exploring/camping, farmer's markets, arbitrary details, wine & cheese pairings, the unnecessary and grammatically incorrect usage of an ellipsis and exclamation point, architecture & design, the sound of running water, pondering/contemplating this and that (too), ambiguity, incongruity, turning old televisions into art projects, road trips/traveling, trying to cook, bicycling, vintage motorcycles, consistency, house-made guacamole, camera-collecting, existential moments, banging on pots and pans and (the heads of) pompous, pretentious pricks, alliteration, jazz, breakdancing, late night/early morning philosophical ramblings, drinking ridiculously expensive craft beers, balkan brass dance parties, the company of family and friends, odd-time signatures and polyrhythms, dancing (like a fool), listening, observing and being analytical (hopefully, not overly)...

geeez, just listen to me... i, i, i... this is exactly why self summaries suck... i (oh, there it is again) don't want to have to market myself (or come off as being egocentric)... suppose it's too late for that... oh well. how 'bout this then... buy me... i'm on sale this week and i'm pretty damn swell!

after school my father looked at me and said (in the straightest face) "congratulations... what now?" to which i responded, "i think i'll get a job... (those ellipsis, as well as the following are to denote time elapsing)... perhaps i'll go back for my masters." he looked at me and my smart-asshole face and uttered (the inevitable) "what the hell will you do with a masters in creative writing?" a fair enough question i suppose... needless to say i was a bit perplexed and a tad bit irritated by his insistent inquiry into my future... i mumbled in a barely recognizable, muted monotone voice that i would continue going to school and get a doctorate's in creative writing... then i could perform semi-colonoscopies. to this day my sense of humor has caused a rift between us and he still won't donate money toward my triumphant return to academia. and so... i substitute taught for a bit, i worked for an architectural publication, served as a robot filing files (go figure) in a musty, dank basement for awhile. then one day i decided to move to lovely LA in an attempt to escape the frigid fucking winters (of chicago) and to seek out varying elevations. i am thrilled to report that i have indeed succeeded. i currently work as a behavioral therapist; i get to play with plastic dinosaurs and legos all day... oh yeah and some kids too... it's pretty rad!

i guess i do what i can in the moment and hope it helps all those involved/connected (present and future)...

i currently live in silver lake, up a hill a bit... a family of skunks live under my steps... sometimes i catch them eating the cat food on my neighbor's stoop... it's pretty adorable... i stare from a distance and chuckle.

Pretending like I know how to do something.

Laughing at inappropriate times.

Being rad (obviously)...

Being sarcastic

using far too many adjectival modifiers.

my interspersed gray/white hairs, my cowlick in my left sideburn and possibly my witty banter, bad (i mean... awesome) puns and insatiable sense of sarcasm...

words: I enjoy Haruki Murakami, Michael Chabon, Saul Williams, David Foster Wallace, J.P. Sarte, Augusten Burroughs, Jeffrey Eugenides, David Sedaris, Rick Moody, Dave Eggers, John Stuart Mill, the unbearable lightness of being, Andre Dubus, News from nowhere and other writings - William Morris, Bukowski, Vonnegut and random philosophical nonsense...

moving pictures: Chinatown, Cohen bros., The Graduate, The Running Man, Ingmar Bergman, Woody Allen (most everything), Angelheart, The Triplets of Belleville, Darren Aronofsky, Primer, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Inception, David Lynch, Godfrey Reggio... oh and t.v. - mr. show, sifl & olly, twin peaks, 6 ft. under, arrested dev., upright c.b., curb your enthusiasm & the office (both).

certain sounds are pretty neato sounding... that said, here are a few of my favorites... rain hitting glass or metal, philip glass, metal, birds in the trees, tree branches/leaves rustling in the breeze, the breeze whistling through the cracks in my window-frame, the a-frames, collections of colonies of bees, afro-cuban beats, NEU! field recordings, zappa, holy fuck, sun ra, stan getz, cornelius, sun city girls, SLEEP, break-beats, talking heads, vibraphone, ambient swells, nomo, liquid liquid, drone, dungen, whistling tea kettles, the dismemberment plan, herbie hancock, hip hop, miles davis, mantiboa/caribou, rachels, efterklang, kraut, frogs, prog, pinback, dosh, black sabbath, the octopus project, turing machine, zs, big business, the mercury program, konono no.1, jaga jazzist, all kinds of jazz, grails, faraquet, bossa nova, ash ra temple, mice parade, xtc, women, brass arrangements of various kinds, patsy cline, nels cline, sleeping people, james brown, post rock (you know everything after rock), gotan project, tinariwen, brian eno, fugazi, anything nick cave related, tom waits, quantic soul orchestra, nick drake, no wave, new wave, crashing waves, (mos def) not raves, ratatat, mulatu astatke, rhys chatham, CAN, soul/funk, bonobo, godspeed you! black emperor, french sounds, the books, don cab/battles, the ex, a certain ratio, steve reich, sublime frequency records, typewriters, fela kuti, bending & bowing hand saws, a hawk and a hacksaw, menomena, liars, maserati, circuit-bent gadgetry, so percussion, pretty much anything percussive and pervasive, matmos, theramins & tortoise... and breathe...

cuisine: (vegetarian) sushi, indian, beet salads... most salads, cherimoyas, ethiopian, french, italian, thai, chai, (chicago style) deep-dish pizza, avocados, kale, mushrooms, bohemian style meals, latin, mexican, middle eastern, really anything that is delicious and animal-less...

.art.
.water.
.words.
.sounds.
.affection.
.family/friends.
.the ability to question.
.a sense of humor (id est. jokes).

*dang, that's eight... i'm no good at following rules.

whether or not any of us know what we're doing... with our lives... and what it means "to know" what we're doing with our lives... we stumble between familiar avenues, saunter across foreign crosswalks, step up and down stairs and slide between revolving doors and we act like we know the answers, like we have things figured out, but more times than not it's merely a facade. we don't know shit, but that's the beauty. it's the happenstance and the serendipitous moments that make life worth all the work... it's the mystery, the moments of chance, the "crazy" old woman that hacks up hackneyed expressions whilst keeling over on the bus stop bench, the little girl with the purple popsicle stained lips and the fragile, withering, old man with the dirty hands that smiles at you while crossing your path... more times than not (it's) the one less traveled down.

how i can refute Bertrand Russell's statement that "all human activity is prompted by desire." - i think he was onto something... thus far the only thing that his words do not hold true to is actually reiterating the statement itself... i am not prompted by desire when i engage (or take action) in saying that "all human activity is prompted by desire," or am i (somehow)... perhaps subconsciously. time to think about it some more...

existence, the plausibility of a utopian society and deontological ethics versus consequentialist or teleological ethical theories (see also: utilitarianism).

why there is braille at the drive-thru at the bank...

what i want to do/be when i grow up...

what a typical question...

here's a typical answer...

attending art gallery openings/events, grabbing some delicious food and drinks with friends, going to a (music) show OR perhaps i am laying low and eating in, working on a art project/writing music or doing data entry for my cases :(

that i'm on this silly dating site...

you are a minimum of 5 of the following...
*nice (see also: sweet)
*you attain some semblance of cleverness
*can hold a decent conversation
*interesting and fun to be around (ie you talk and smile once in awhile or even often)
*a fan of puns, wit, sarcasm
*interested in an vast array of music
*open-minded and fairly down-to-earth
*a fan of delicious foods (and don't mind that i'm a vegetarian)
*interested in making art/music/being creative (possibly even together)
*fond of the idea of spending an evening cooking together and listening to records
*looking to have an adventure very soon and in pleasant company
*reliable... as in you will follow through with plans (see also: not being fLAky).
*totally rad!

OR you are really inclined to do so... perhaps i really don't care that much about most of the aforementioned... seriously though... at least be genuine and able to hold a conversation!