Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You apply the same standards to others as you apply to
You're not married: Separated is married.
You're honest: I'll accept 'no lies to cover your own failings' if
it's the best you can honestly offer.
You're faithful: I've no time for betrayal. If you can't be
trusted, don't think I'll never find out, or put up with it
You're considerate: You respond to people not just because it's
polite, but because it's a link in how humanity works.
You're intelligent: This is not a headfull of facts- but the
ability to listen and act appropriately. In other words you have
You can, and like to hold conversations with people: You realize
that technology is just a tool. You answer emails, don't screen
calls, etc- because:
1. you know there is a real person on the other end.
2. You understand how 'emergencies' work, and how they can become
'regrets' after the fact due to casual inaccessibility.
You're any man's equal: Traditional roles die in the face of
practicality. You don't need a person to 'pursue you' to give you
worth (or worse, 'prove their interest'). You can appreciate effort
or ask the right questions to get your answers.
This is a new era. I'm looking for someone who isn't still trapped
in the past. If you're looking for a 'prince' to 'rescue' you (or
even for 'the man' to make 'the first move'), then you might be a
better match for someone else. You can sit and wait for him like a
good little princess.
All of this may seem unrealistic or stupid in this day and age, and
I'll grant you that- but I want a friend in my lover, not someone
who I can claim as my 'prize' through dogged persistence. Yes- I
know- you may be worth it-- but the woman I'm looking for has
enough imagination to wonder if I'm worth it too...
Why I'm not messaging you...
If you message me, I'll always respond (at least) kindly, BUT I
message people I might be interested in pretty infrequently now,
since I don't just go for looks, and so many women are just posting
so little info. Apparently that whole 'I'm a needle in a haystack'
thing doesn't make people want to exhibit their uniqueness.
If your profile is pretty much just a picture, I'm not
Likewise, If your profile has no picture, I'm not bothering. I'm
sure you have your reasons- good luck with that...
If you've defined your preference and I'm outside of it, I'm not
Likewise if you've defined your preference, and I'm in it due to
race, 'beardedness' or other arbitrary uncontrollable standard, I'm
Why am I saying this?
'True Love' is magic. Once. Maybe a few times if you're lucky.
(Yes, I know, but don't ask me- I don't make the rules) Mostly
though, it's work. It fades, and it's work. It endures, but it's
work. It's my opinion people who think that 'magic just happens'
don't get- won't get, that there's work involved.
Been there, done that. Prove me wrong, good luck to you.
You ever date someone for weeks or months and eventually find out
some intolerable aspect of personality or whatever?
Ok, let's just say everyone 'playing nice' up front is a
All it does is waste everyone's time unless you compromise to put
up with shit due to perceived investment, so instead I've made a
fair effort of making sure you know I'm possibly 'not right for
you' up front.