“Far from being blind, love alone can see.”--Annie Dillard

Things I care about: Living life with an open heart, as painful as it can sometimes be—what is the alternative? Tolerance and simple human kindness—that always makes me cry. Speaking from the heart. Community, sharing, caring, acceptance. Deep feeling and beauty—the arts as a bridge to spirit. Laughter and tears. Light and air, rain, snow, and wind. Moon and Sun; earth and water and wood. This beautiful living world. Knowing myself as a beautiful being among many, distinct from but connected to everything in the universe. And as innocent and blameless as the stars.

I am a feminist, environmentalist, democratic socialist, who like so many of us is way left of Obama but still so glad he's there. (So many tears on election night, and at the inauguration as well, all the while knowing that he would probably disappoint us.) I am full of contradictions which aren’t contradictions at all—a delver into depths who loves the simple pleasures, a very real and grounded romantic, an intellectual who works with his hands for a living, a spiritual humanist, an open-minded idealist, a fundamentally serious person who laughs a LOT, a surprisingly outgoing introvert (INFP), a highly sensitive person who is nonetheless always putting himself out on that line.

Learning how to become more whole.

And right now, I build masonry heaters for a living.

Being a friend--and a partner, for the right person. Because any intimate relationship that's worthwhile involves the entire range of who we are. But more specifically? Talking to people in ways that allow them to feel safe, and heard. Being present. Listening, understanding and being forgiving--of others. Not always so good at doing these things for myself. Yet.

First thing? Hmmm... I don't know. That some part of my hair is often sticking out at an odd angle?

I don't have a TV--haven't for many years. But radio--Democracy Now!, Fresh Air, This American Life, On The Media, Speaking Of Faith, Though too much exposure to the media, even those that I like, can easily overwhelm me--I'm always trying to find that balance point between the inner and outer worlds.

Music (!) Billy Bragg, Lucinda Williams, Ferron, Sandy Denny, Wilco, Van Morrison, Amy Corriea, Hem, Gillian Welch, John Lennon, Pretenders, The Burns Sisters (favorite Ithaca band), Joni Mitchell, Bruce Springsteen, The Roches, Nina Simone, The Raincoats, Beth Orton, Victoria Williams. Way too many more.

Books: Annie Dillard (virtually all she's written), Ursula Le Guin (The Dispossessed, etc...), Marilynne Robinson, Jane Austen (she speaks to both my romantic and my nerdy sides). Edith Wharton. Christopher Alexander’s writings on architecture (A Pattern Language, etc…), and lots of books on space and place. John McPhee. Michael Pollan--check out his early "A Place of My Own". Robert Pirsig, though his decision to embody "Low Quality" in a sexually promiscuous woman "Lila" doesn't sit well. Considering whether to read Eat, Pray, Love or not--if one more person recommends it I think I will have to.

I will read the back of the cereal box if nothing else is available.

The painter Charles Burchfield—the way he finds spirit in the physical world. Earlier Frank Lloyd Wright--when he was designing with his heart and not his head. Christopher Day. Andy Goldsworthy (see "Rivers and Tides" if you haven't!). Charles Rennie Mackintosh. Whistler.

I like food. And confront the omnivore's dilemma on a daily basis.

...are not so important to understanding who I am. Here's a poem from this past summer that is:

(I remember coming with Callie to this same place at the lake. She was so intent on talking to the spirit beings that she thought were living there, I don't know if she even saw the lake, felt the water, touched the sky. I kept wanting to knock her over, just to say Hey.)

The is-ness of the waves
(each one wetting a little more of my inadequately rolled-up jeans)
is so obvious that it's not-even-funny
as any child could tell you.
And the one that finally reaches your crotch? Don't make me laugh.

These waves, the cobbles underfoot, these limitless stretches
of slow silvery water, air and light
Are not about me
It is I who am about them.
Just as our prayers are not about God
(Do you think He really cares about us?)
but about ourselves.

No, we are the caring ones
it comes from in here

Who else would feel
each stone and star
each breath and pulse and push of wave
so deeply?

Who but ourselves would come all but undone
at the slightest word
glance
touch
from another of our kind?

What makes us tick. How to make things that are beautiful. How to cut through the clutter and get to the essential. How to step outside the box, and poke things from an unexpected direction--and then that box--and then that one.

When is lunch?

I have to say that being at home with the one I love sounds really wonderful, but there's something missing right now... Other things I like: Dinner and conversation with a small group of friends. Dancing to really good music. Working together with people, building things. Experiencing nature, walking, or just being outdoors. Exploring a new place with no particular agenda. Staying up really late talking. Playing music or singing with others. Looking long into a lover's eyes. Kisses of affection and kisses of passion.

The wizards of OKCupid seem to have me pegged as not particularly desirous of sex. I think they're a little off on that one...

Oh, and that I lied about the Sanskrit. I really can claim only a very limited fluency.

You're like me in (at least some?) of the following ways:

You're emotionally open, able to express your feelings,
and willing to let yourself cry. You are strong enough to stand on your own but willing to let yourself be vulnerable.

There is an intensity to you, both a restless intelligence and a river of feeling that flows within. It is because of this intensity that you so treasure those moments of just-being...

You know how to communicate honestly and without blame. In relationship, you take the time needed to process, to understand each other. You are willing to work through difficulties honestly and with compassion, and know that trials passed through in this way can become the foundation stones that anchor the relationship in the long run. You understand that a relationship is a living thing, more a verb than a noun, more a journey than a destination.

You are complex, full of contradictions, multi-dimensional, so that no one career can begin to hold all of who you are. You are both/and, not only/but also, and many shades in between and beyond. You may not always have it all together—life is not, you are not, so simple as that.

You are creative..and creatively funny. I don't know how to define a sense of humor that would be compatible, but I wish I could. It's just amazingly important.

You are intellectually engaged with the world--you love to talk and think about ideas—because they are beautiful, and because they matter. You’re quite capable of analyzing something to death, if that’s what’s called for. But you also can see the beauty in not...

You’re very verbal—you read, can write well, love language.

You ultimately are looking for a committed relationship, with someone who could be a best friend as well as a lover and a partner. You want a relationship that can sustain a very deep and intense level of intimacy, yet also allows for plenty of time alone and with others. So that the relationship strengthens and enhances each of us as individuals, and at the same time allowed us to achieve and experience things together that separately we could not have.

You are able to enjoy and appreciate your own beauty, however conventional or unconventional it might be.

You are not afraid to be kind and sweet and loving--a heart-oriented person. We share that.