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24 F Austin, TX

I’m looking for

  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 20–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Aug 28
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Strictly vegetarian
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I cannot touch you like a human woman can, but I can show you things that human eyes were never meant to see.

I was born in Southern California under admittedly inauspicious circumstances, but garnered acclaim for myself within mere months of arriving on the planet through my convincing performance as Baby Jesus in our church's nativity play. I have no memory of the occasion, but my mother has always maintained that I looked so like a doll that the audience gasped when I moved my arm. Yada yada yada, 21 years later I graduated from UT Austin with majors in Philosophy and English and encyclopedic carnal knowledge. I now work in publishing.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to be nice to people, avoiding eating fat, reading a good book every now and then, getting some walking in, and trying to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.

Just trying to find my porpoise.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
driving a car and you know what
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My mind reading ability, which is apparent to them as soon as we meet from the uncomfortable sensation they experience as I sift through the formerly private recesses of their consciousness to ascertain what they're noticing about me. Yes, I am a skilled Legilimens.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The Arabian Nights
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
A Moveable Feast
The Great Gatsby
Les Miserables
The Mysteries of Udolpho
Mrs. Dalloway

The Sound of Music
The Royal Tenenbaums
Scenes from a Marriage

Monty Python's Flying Circus
Peep Show

The Beatles; The Smiths; The Velvet Underground; Van Morrison

and anything spicy.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
a towel.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
doing things with chainsaws at Tupperware parties.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
In the fourth grade, I was cast as the Virgin Mary in our school nativity play, but on the day of the show I threw up in front of my whole class and had to go home early.

Thus ignobly was I cheated of the opportunity to perform the roles both of the precious Christ child and the Mother of God in my humble lifetime.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I thought I was too busy for this website, but, after suffering the recent loss of my favorite fuck buddy to the dubious institution of monogamy, I've taken a hard look at my existence and the various ways I cheat the abyss and realized that I need someone new in my life to fill the void. Specifically, the Sunday night sex void, with room for advancement into weekday pre-work morning sex.

I used to seek a funny, charming, literary, feminist type to fill these and related offices, but a long series of disappointments has left me with few illusions to cling to regarding your debased gender. I now encourage all whose profile lacks a mirror selfie to apply.