Hello. How do I summarize myself with enough brevity to hold your attention and enough depth to gain your attention? I am genderqueer, androgynous, somewhat of a transdyke which seems more suitable than transman but I am not at all ashamed / embarrassed that I take T. It just does not define my life. If you are really into the butch-femme dynamic then we might make better friends than relationship potentials, but I never rule anything out, life is too fluid for that. I am especially attracted to bois other butches and dykes but I have no real list. I hate to be boxed into a category, so I would not do that to anyone else. I am big on people with great teeth. I am pretty alpha but I am working on being more of a switch. Working on it does not mean I am "there". I am very focused on academia but I would love to meet friends to at least have dinner with. I am sex-positive and my ability to thrive in a relationship depends on the dynamics unique to each one. ie. I can do it but sometimes I just want a good friend. I believe in the intellectual validity of being poly but I rarely find well-negotiated poly relationship that are working. Thus I am fully comfortable in an open relationship or with monogamy as long as both / all people are on the same page. I do prefer to meet people in the burbs of Philly because of the parking situation, but I do have a car. I love live music. Summary: I just want to meet a nice girl and live happily ever after, but I am too cynical for a Disney ending. Prove me wrong. Please do.

I am an activist and full-time grad student. I just moved closer to school in the burbs of Philly. I take classes year round. I exercise and am trying to be a turtle in the Nike+ challenge with some classmates. Not much of a runner, sadly. I am kind of addicted to travel, water sports (literal sports, not a sexual reference), conferences, and breaking binary boundaries.

Analyzing a situation and making a plan of attack. Writing too many papers. Being there in the bad times. Keeping in touch with people. Giving my all. And I am a pretty darned good cook. But not the best.

My hair (lack of).

BOOKS: All things queer. Leslie Feinberg's Stone Butch Blues is my favorite fiction. Kate Bornstein's Gender Outlaw was revolutionary. Usually I only have time for academic reading, fortunately I get a lot of sex, gender, queer reading for homework in my masters program. MOVIES: I very rarely go to a movie theatre. I do have some all-time favorites, usually on DVD. I loved Gender Rebel, Normal, Soldier's Girl, The Life of David Gale, Iron Jawed Angels, Empire Records, Queer As Folk series and more. MUSIC: I love music and almost all music depending on the setting. My current non-mainstream favorites are: Melissa Ferrick, Doria Roberts, Alix Olson, Athens Boys Choir, Ellis, Edie Carey, Bitch, Ferron, Amy Ray as a solo artist apart from the Indigo Girls. Mainstream: Akon, Eminem, Daughtry, Matchbox 20, Black Label Society, Atmosphere, and I love duets like Kidd Rock and Sheryl Crow's Picture.

No Particular Order ...

I can do without all "things" ... but my 6 favorite "things" ...
1. Music, preferably on my iPod
2. My MacBook so I can get through school
3. My iPhone so I can communicate with friends since I just moved
4. A car (not necessarily the one I own, but independent transportation)
5. My favorite pillow for good sleep
6. My ATM card because I don't carry cash

What is really most important does not classify as "things" ...
1. Friends
2. A feeling of value to the community / world
3. Utilities to make things work and to keep me warm
4. A girlfriend ... I can do without one for a while, but after a year I will be grumpy ... I am getting close to the point of needing someone to at least regularly hold and kiss (if the recipient is a good kisser ... otherwise, no kissing)
5. Constantly learning
6. A sense of inner peace

Social equality for all. How to make friends when I don't go out to bars or live in the city. Being successful in a masters program. If I can find a someone (non cis-male) who is older than me but is still willing to raise a child. If I will adopt on my own. If I am willing to put aside this dream if I get all of my other needs met in a relationship. Why the social circles are so small in lesbian-land, even though I moved to a bigger city area. Why people care what gender marries what gender, and why I really don't think marriage is a great institution, and if I will cave into getting married if it is really important to the other person.

My life is not typical. Usually I am home alone. Until you think I will be home alone, and then I won't be. Often I am prepping for a 10 hour Saturday class, but it is summer right now!

There are some things I will not discuss. Some may call it a lie (of omission). I just say that no one fully knows me. And since I am not in a long term monogamous relationship, I am not ready to share everything with anyone. Really. I am pretty much an open book about gender, T, sexual abuse, etc ... But there are things I will not share for a long time.

And ... it really, really, really bothers me that people judge me based on how close to my parents I am (not). It is not a crime to dislike your parents. I firmly believe in "stay away from toxic people". Don't judge, you don't know my family, and never really will.

You don't want to box me into some kind of binary sex, gender, sexuality, or strict butch-femme dynamic. I am especially fond of other gender variant people and butches who date other non-femmes.

You have great teeth.

You are not controlling or possessive.

You are looking for a "girlfriend" but are not freaked out about the fact I take T. (I am rarely mistaken for a boy.)

You are looking for friends - and then I don't care if you have great teeth or are looking for a girlfriend.

You are willing to leave the city sometimes.

You want to date and are not going to be cheating on someone to do so.

You don't care that I have no direction sense.

You do not look at new girlfriends as "projects"

You want to go to live theatre, music, etc with someone new.

Don't message me if you want me to conform, be your submissive, are a straight guy (gay guys are fine, most of my friends "back home" were gay men), want me to be your "secret" ...