Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


26 M Washington, DC

My Details

Last Online
Today – 11:53am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Working on masters program
Politics / Government
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Okay), Hebrew (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Disclaimer: see it as a choice if you must, but I simply can't date libertarians or conservatives. I'm happy to be friends, but it's not going to turn into something more. I'm sorry, but also...not really that sorry.

I see many people on here saying they are skeptical of the online dating scene. I am too, but more because I don't think there's ever been a dating scene of which I wasn't skeptical. One girl did ask me what my IQ was on here before she would consider dating me, though, so I suppose the internet does make it easier to find...oddities.

As indicated by my skepticism, I'm tired and completely done with and kind of psychological games with regards to dating. I don't need anything complicated, I just want to meet someone nice and settle down at this point.

My Myers-Briggs type is INTP. Supposedly that means I would work well with I/ENFJs. I agree with that assessment for the most part, but I'm pretty easy-going.

I'm an animal person, and I think it has become abundantly clear to me that I need to be with a human being who appreciates cute creatures.

(Yes, my username is a joke. Not in the sense that I'm not interested in commitment - I am - but in the sense that it's a silly choice for a dating website username.)
What I’m doing with my life
I work at a political strategy/advocacy firm. I'm also getting my Master's in public policy analysis, focusing on social and education policy. I have some pretty ambitious aspirations and we'll see where the next few years takes me.

I'm also a musician in my spare time. I play cello, piano, guitar, bass, and ukulele. If it has strings, I'll give it a shot. (My undergraduate degree was in music.)
I’m really good at
Avoiding death by yeti. I hasn't happened yet, so...there you go.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I mean, everyone loves Harry Potter, right? Tell me your favorite of the seven. I'm also a huge fan of Salinger, and not just Catcher in the Rye. His short stories are great.

I watch way too much TV: Community, Flight of the Conchords, Luther, Parks and Rec, Archer, Arrested Development, 30 Rock, Happy Endings, Homeland, Game of Thrones, True Detective, Hannibal, American Horror Story, New Girl, a bunch of other shows

Music: I like a wide variety of things. Opeth, Chris Thile/Nickel Creek/Punch Brothers, Katzenjammer, Mahler, Oscar Peterson, Robyn, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Fleetwood Mac, Ravel, Heather Christian, Queen, Daft Punk, a bunch of other jazz and classical. I could do this forever honestly, this is just what's in rotation right now.

I'm not a picky eater and I like to surround myself with other adventurous eaters as well. Message me with your favorite cuisine and let's go try a new place!
The six things I could never do without
I legitimately do not understand how humanity functioned prior to the invention of the cell phone. Not smartphone specifically, just any device fulfilling the purpose of getting in touch with one another despite not being at your place of residence.

And going a bit further back in history, I personally feel slightly icky if I haven't showered in over 24 hours, so let's add a general appreciation for hygiene products of all kinds here. Not sure how people were okay with life before running water.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Did you know that Go-gurt is just yogurt?

I don't think there's a situation I can envision where a guy should call a girl a "bitch" or other such gendered slurs. There are equally forceful and more creative words that don't play into harmful gender stereotypes, like "fuckwad" or "douchenozzle" or even a good hearty "asshole". Think about it, men.
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing as hard as I work? Not sure how to answer this seriously.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I sometimes listen to Yiddish/Klezmer club music. Don't knock it till you've tried it.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–29
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
If you're a strong woman you don't need permission.

You take your whiskey neat.

We have a 90%+ enemy percentage and want to be my arch-nemesis.