***home for the summer***

Working on 3 co-productions between Zoot Theatre and the Dayton ART Institute.

Puppets, Masks and Elizabethan Dramatic Literature! What could possibly go wrong?

*** : ) *** : ( ***

~mean bastard in search of bitch with heart of gold~

I like weird trash and I like to rut.

If you're looking for a fixer upper, I'm not your huckleberry.

What ya sees is what ya gets.

Though I like people who are grounded and calm I despise the throw-away terms "laid-back" and "down-to-earth".

Pigs.

I was recently told that my profile makes me sound like a prize asshole, but that I was really "sweet" in person.

If the flu shits . . .

Ever had one of those movements that makes you feel like your anus has been ravaged, but you're not as empty as you feel you should be so you keep pushing for all your worth?

Yeah. Like that.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm a bastard. I'm a loyal bastard, but I'm a bastard nonetheless. My friends get everything. And I have a lot of friends. But if you cross me - let's just say my shit list is very short, but profound. Staring into the abyss that's staring into you profound. Yep.

Now for some bastardy.

I am trying to discern which disgusts me more:

Dog people or Child people.

Both smack of the same desperate hubris.

I will qualify that every time I meet a child or a dog I like (and I do every so often - for what is life without exception), I meet ten more that remind me why I hate children and dogs.

At this age, it seems an important thing to get out of the way.

So unless the maggot/furball with which you're so enchanted is low-maintenance, non-licky and able to STFU, it probably won't work with me and you don't need to read any further.

[I should qualify that I do like cats and reptiles and any other independent critter and every so often I meet a kid that is cool as shit. My niece and some friends' spawn, but blood is thicker, no? We're all tribal at bottom.]

Oh, but if you have a monkey, all bets are off. I may have a monkey problem. I love them. They're so smart and *MEAN*! : D

Thanks.

Now to my idiotic rambling.

I am rude, crude and oh so lewd. At least that's what I've been told. People tell me things all the time. Problems, joys, surmises. PBR! Tom Waits. Neil Gaiman. Robert Carlyle. Father Jack Hackett. Women. Sangin'. Drinkin'. Fuckin'. Fightin'. Chicago. Karaoke. Hidden Cove. Pogues. Iggy. EAP. EFC. ICP. Cramps. Elvis Costello. Fungus. Cheese. Blue Velvet. Hunter S. Thompson. The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry. A Clockwork Orange. Rube Waddell. Hogscraper. Monkeys. Refusing to Get Dressed. Greg Brown. Dan Bern. Talking Heads. Primus. Andrew Marvell. John Donne. TMBG. Don Maitz. Soul Coughing. NIN. Merle Haggard. Hank. Johnny. Waylon. Coe. Reggie Watts. Bill Hicks.John Valby. McLean and McLean. 3cephas. Transmetropolitan. Lamb. Watchmen. Free Mammograms. Vinyl. Non - Sequiturs. Love. God. Murder. Feck. Arse. Drink.

"I come not to dandle poetry on my knee like a retarded child with beautiful eyes but to throw it off the cliffs into the icy waters and see if the motherfucker can swim for its life"

-- MEIN KAMPF by David Lerner

I am the one who gave, it all up for Rock, and Roll

Oh and if you voted YES on Prop 8 or if you want to restrict the civil rights of any specific individual or group then you can pretty much FOAD! I don't wanna know you.

[I am writing some more words here to fill the requirement so that I have enough words on my profile which I already feel is long-winded as it is, but apparently 1000 words is better than being done when you've finished what you wanted to say, so I'm writing more because my personality says I'm very competitive which I didn't know, but maybe this will get me to that coveted 100% mark. I hope you enjoy that as much as I did. Ack.]

This cracks me up: @dailyquestionla

* I was a voice, speech and dialect specialist. I worked around Chicago, mostly in the theatre. Now HQ is in Hollyweird.

Self-Un or Temporarily Under Employed.

* I released my pseudo-vanity book of poetry in 2009:

Carnival of Filth

* My my first NaNoWriMo attempt shat a "novel" called "fidelity."

It is available here.

* This summer:

Bottom (A MIDSUMMER NIGHTS DREAM)
Dr. Faustus (THE TRAGICALL HISTORY OF THE LIFE AND DEATH OF DR. FAUSTUS)
Caliban (THE TEMPEST)
&
Sorting My Shit Out

Also: www.ssssmlh2013.blogspot.com

Scrabble. Word play. Dialects. Trivia. Anything to do with tongues. Remembering jokes. Pushing people's boundaries. Skee Ball. Parody. Irony. Sarcasm. Phantasm. Orgasm. Rhyming. Picking terrible partners. Time sinks. Organization. Drinking. Moseying.

My sparkling conversation and/or my loud ass mouth.

No wait, my cavernous maw and/or my buzzing brainpan.

Nawp, my insight and/or my choppers.

Naw. That's not it.

My hungry hole and/or my rapist's wit [sick] . . . Heh. Sorry.

Ne'ermind. Stick with the first'un.

Selah.

q.v. the first blurb. I really like cheese. Takashi Miike. Drunkabilly and Philsophy in the Bedroom. Going through the old library and trying to get rid of some shit . . . after I reads it again of course. Just found a great free book e-reader on my new Droid. Leisurely wading through as much of the Lovecraft catalogue as I can get me grubby mitts on.

GODHEAD.

My Planner. My elipses. My internet. My music. My stories. My privacy.

. . . how to make myself stop thinking so much. Seriously. It's becoming a problem.

Alcohol delivery systems.

I hate amateur nights.

I am looking for a woman who would genuinely enjoy a weekend with me at Ocracoke Island and all that entails.

{I will consider a cohort to Buccaneer days in the short run. Next year a tent cabin or a boat are a *requirement*.}

fhgwgads