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47 M Chester, UK

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 32–48
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Oct 20
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Not at all
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes cats
English (Fluently), C++ (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
First things first - I'm a jammy dodger expert. They're my favourite biscuit. Nothing else will do, not jaffacakes, and certainly not figrolls (Beelzebub's own biscuit). It's a relief to get that out of the way, so now I can get on to less important stuff.

Here are some other useful things to know :-
-I've never been seasick. It's handy when circumnavigating Birmingham on the M42.
-I get altitude sickness, so I won't accompany you up K2.
-I like to mow shapes in my lawn, like spirals and 8s. It puzzles the neighbours and confuses Cat.
-I tried a man-bag once, but Cat laughed at me, so I dropped it from 2000 feet into trees (bag, not Cat)
-I've seen a snow-bow in my jimjams. Not many people can say that.
-I used to work in a restaurant which means that I can slice mushrooms at 19 to the dozen.
-I can't pass a country church without reading the visitors' book or finding the silliest name in the graveyard.
-I play badminton badly - bottom team in the division. We're always getting wopped. We can't be relegated; there's nowhere down to go.
-I have a closet so stuffed full of things like crampons, halyards, cat toys and broken racquets that there's no room for any baggage or skeletons.
-I know where to put apostrophes; semicolons are still a mystery though.

Anyone still reading? Probably not, so I can say anything now. I misspent my youth sailing oceans, skiing across icecaps and getting cold, wet, scared and lost in remote places. I now find that all my previous partners in crime (who survived) are on child number 2.4 and aren't allowed out any more. I also discovered that saying things like 'I'm off to Greenland for the summer, see you in October' was not girlfriend friendly, and I usually found on my return she'd taken up with the postman.

So having surprisingly failed to find anyone 300 miles north of the Arctic circle or when sailing past Libya, I've been single for a while and come here. It's also dawned on me that it's time to hang up the ice axes and lead a more normal life (with the exception of the lawn shapes).

So if anyone's interested in a time-served slightly frayed outdoors type, or can divulge sage advice on sensible things like pensions and en-suite bathrooms, or even just has some jammy dodgers in, I'm here to be found.

Some feedback...

"That's not a man-bag. It's a LV lady's handbag. You can't fool us girls with your sneaky lies."
Oops! Rumbled.

"That's not a cat. That's a West Highland white terrier. It's a dog."
Is he? Are you sure? I've often wondered why he's never caught any mice. MAAAAAAAAAX!! Get here NOW and explain yourself!

"You have a skinny wimpy body"
That probably explains why I regularly lose games of tuggy with Max.

"There are no footprints in the snow. How was that picture taken?"
Levitation. Less gravity near the poles.

"What do you mean 'Wales and it's not raining'? It doesn't always rain in Wales. Today was a lovely sunny day and it didn't rain. Well actually thinking about it, it did, but only the once."
Well quite.

"You are completely barking"
I consider myself more Dagenham than Barking. I leave woofery duties to Max.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Looking for my cat, Cat. Doing strange maths. Getting lost in odd places. Gossiping at the water cooler. Driving on the M6. Bouncing around on boats. Inventing new recipes. Sewing patches on things. Losing badminton matches. Still looking for Cat. Writing rubbish. Finding where I am again. Mowing the moss. Trying to pronounce Welsh place names. Wobbling around the sky. Avoiding the housework. Learning Morse code. Dreaming about places I've not been to. Ending up in places I'd never dreamt of. Going to bed too late. Rattling the cat biscuit box now. Reading Wikipedia. Trying to remember people's names. Avoiding bogs. Jumping in puddles. Regretting my inability to differentiate puddles from bogs. Otter spotting. Or is that spotter otting? Hooray! The furry little dirty stop-out has finally reappeared.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Badminton. OK, in my dreams!
Hard sums.
Not getting lost.
Sewing. Strange, I know, but true.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm quite chuffed if someone notices that I'm there at all. Easily pleased.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Bill Bryson's books, Monty Python, Dr Seuss, Shawshank Redemption
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Pillow fights.
Fluffy towels.
Jammy dodgers.
Anapestic tetrameters.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Wondering where Cat goes.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working a 4 day week (it's great!) Thursday night is my virtual Friday night, and Friday night is my virtual Saturday night. I haven't got used to this yet, and I'm still usually in a state of day-of-the-week befuddlement, wondering why everyone else thinks it's Friday when to me it feels like Saturday. Confused? Me too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I can't resist a good oxymoron.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are lost.
You need rescuing from a bog you jumped in by mistake.
You need a patch sewing on something.
You are clean out of biscuits.
You've seen Cat.
You know the answer to life, the universe, and how to win badminton matches.