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27 M Brooklyn, NY

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Trying to quit
Judaism, and laughing about it
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Entertainment / Media
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Latin (Poorly), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
likes: burritos, animals of most all shapes and sizes, many pizzas, beer, books, the beach (in moderation), the driving range, cocktails, late nights and late mornings, house parties

dislikes: spiders, hawaiian pizza, novels where the first thing anyone says when they meet a female character is "damn you're pretty", jerks, dubstep

I wish my username was "a_spooky_ghost" but no way am i gonna pay to change it.
What I’m doing with my life
i go to the office and do my job (which involves indie film distribution), then i go home and try to convince my cat to not be a jerk while i watch jeopardy. when i'm not at work, i'm out browsing through bookstores, walking through the park, hitting up the chelsea piers driving range, or doing my best at bar trivia nights.

in my idle moments i sketch out the business plans that'll make me rich. currently it's a cocktail napkin that says "seamless but it brings animals to you for playtime".

i once asked stacey london what the difference between a shootie and a bootie is (she didn't know - do you know? does anyone?). i try to read about a book a week, do my best at the NYT crossword every day, and check out every dog that walks by.
I’m really good at
yelling at people on tv when they're wrong on Jeopardy!, deciding what kind of pizza to get, picking up stuff (like boxes or piles of magazines) and moving them from one place to another, loving zoos.

one of my roommates recently said "if there's one thing joe's good at, it's finding funny pictures of ja rule online". so, hey, that's another skill.
The first things people usually notice about me
i'm either the dude walking into your party with a sixpack at 1 am or the guy sitting on the train reading quietly and not taking up too much space or the guy making some good jokes

i look a lot like oscar wilde and if i've had enough of something (like french fries or cherries or whatever), i'll say "i'm good off that"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
P.G. Wodehouse, Gillian Flynn, Raymond Chandler, Jonathan Lethem, Michael Chabon, Gary Shteyngart, Tana French. mysteries are cool as hell. i dig on non-fiction and pop psychiatry/philosophy too.

movies i dig: Die Hard, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Men In Black, documentaries about cool/weird stuff, Indiana Jones and whatever, westerns, pretty much anything John Carpenter.

Community, RuPaul's Drag Race, Archer, Justified (I know I'll never be Raylan Givens but it's good to have impossible goals), Arrested Development, Twin Peaks, Parks & Rec, Party Down, The Wire, Bob's Burgers, Always Sunny, Law & Order (Briscoe/Green era), Wilfred, OITNB.

y'all like donuts? there's a donut shop near my place, they're good. we'll get a marble twist sometime. other tasty things: brussels sprouts, burgers, spinach. indian food. tacos.

here're the itunes radio stations i use regularly: outlaw country, latin jazz, 90s pop. i'll never force anyone to listen to my playlists. that's a Joe Guarantee. i will probably make you listen to me sing karaoke, though. that's a Joe Warning.
The six things I could never do without
- Y O U T U B E Dot Com A Google Product (i mean i guess i could but i love weird videos - sorry if you're scoping this on a phone because none of those links work)
- a pen (current favorite is the Pilot Precise V5 - i've got a pink one that i use on all official office paperwork)
- bagels (everything > whole wheat everything > sourdough > poppyseed > all the rest of the bagels > salt)
- the last five minutes of free bird (deal with it)
- our furry friends (pets own)
- a big old mug to pour coffee into (i take it with milk or half+half, no sugar - sorry if that's a dealbreaker)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
if I trust myself to take care of a cactus; moving to the island of cats; when/where my next cup of coffee is; could i pull off cowboy boots; how i should probably work out if i'm going to pull off cowboy boots; what time of night is the best for switching from microbrews to miller high life; ranking dog breeds (labs and retrievers who wear bandannas > shibas and corgis > other dogs).
On a typical Friday night I am
have you ever seen the video for lionel richie's "running with the night"? yeah, its a lot like that.

on other nights, i like to sit in a bar with my friends and just shoot the progressively drunker shit. board games and cards may be involved.

or maybe i'm home watching netflix. hey, it's my friday night and i do what i want with it (as should everyone).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i want to buy a replica of clint eastwood's poncho from "a fistful of dollars" and wear it around the house and maybe outside?
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–28
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
you want to tell me about your favorite sandwich or if you want to hear the story about the time i ended up catsitting an incontinent cat because i had no place else to live.

you do want to go to dog prom