1) Your 3 year old son is throwing a tantrum in the supermarket. You’ve tried being reasonable but he’s not having any of that. You:
A. Plead with him to stop.
B. Yell at him to stop.
C. Calmly walk into the next aisle (letting him see you) and continue shopping.
D. Cuff him across the head and call him a moron.
(OK, have to stop right here. If you answered B or D (especially D) to this question, do NOT contact me—we will not get along. Goodbye, and thank you for playing. Everyone else, please continue.)
2) You are driving (or walking) and see a large puddle up ahead. There are no pedestrians around it. You:
A. Avoid it.
B. Slow down and try not to splash.
C. Go for it and make the biggest splash possible.
D. Worry about how your car (or you) will get dirty.
3) You are driving and want to change lanes. You:
A. Change lanes without looking or signaling.
B. Look and change lanes at the same time.
C. Put your signal on, wait for a few seconds, look and make sure no one is there, then change lanes.
D. Signal and move at the same time.
4) Complete the blanks in this sentence. “____ right—_____ a shame that _____ not coming to the party; _____ costumes are always great and _____ other guests would love it.”
A. Your, it’s, their, there, your
B. You’re, its, there, their, you’re
C. You’re, it’s, they’re, their, your
D. Your, its, there, they’re, you’re
5) You are singing along to the radio in your car. Someone on the sidewalk or in another car sees you and gives you a disapproving look. You:
A. Stop singing.
B. Stop singing and give an apologetic grin.
C. Give them a friendly wave, turn the radio up, and sing louder.
D. Give them a nasty hand gesture.
6) Reading is:
B. For wimps, nerds, and other social outcasts.
D. Forget the words and give me pictures.
7) Choose the correct pronunciation of the following set of words: cache of fortes.
A. Cash ov for-tays
B. Cash-ay ov for-tays
C. Cash-ay ov forts
D. Cash ov forts
8) You have just purchased something in a store and are walking back to your car, several aisles over in the parking lot. You:
A. Walk directly there on the shortest path possible, crosswise through the traffic lanes, ignoring everything around you, assuming that you have the right of way at all times.
B. Walk directly down the middle of any traffic lanes, because you’re the most important thing in the world, and find your car in the nearest handicapped spot.
C. Look before you walk into the parking lot, cross traffic lanes at close-to-right angles and whenever possible when other people are crossing, and stay to the side like you would if you were a pedestrian.
D. Go over to your car that you had parked in the fire lane the whole time you were shopping.
The correct answer to every question is C. I have been told that there is another correct answer to question 1, which I will also gladly accept: E. Give him a superman (fly him on your shoulder or by the seat of his pants) until he calms down.
If you got some of them right, especially questions 4 and 7, please, send me an email—I’d really like to meet you!