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billymax

29 Chicago, IL Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 27–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
5′ 7″ (1.71m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), Yiddish (Okay), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
White Sox fan, body modification enthusiast, drinker of black coffee and dark beer (and any other beer as long as it's delicious), eater of bagels and proud Chicagoan.

I was once identified in court as a murderer. No, I'm not a murderer. But someone thought I looked like one.

I'm a villain, a real mixer.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
My main gig is working as an editorial assistant for a trade magazine. I also do some freelance journalism.

When not working, I'm out and about. On a given night, you might find me at a park, watching roller derby, at a local bar that serves delicious beer, out walking and/or playing Frisbee with my dog, listening to some music (live or otherwise) ... you get the idea. I'll try anything once -- or maybe twice.

I'm also an aspiring home-brewer. My first batch of beer was pretty tasty, so hopefully subsequent batches will be even tastier.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- Live-band karaoke. Seriously. I can rock a cover of "Back in the USSR" like you wouldn't believe.

- Officiating weddings. I'm an ordained rabbi and can thus officiate weddings, funerals, bar/bat mitzvahs, etc. Weddings are my specialty. Though my ceremonies are quick, they're always a perfect mix of gut-busting laughs and sentimentality. And yes, I can provide references to back up my claims. I have even used the wisdom of Dan Savage in a ceremony.

- Rabble-rousing.

- Copy editing. I dare you to try and sneak an Oxford comma past me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My veins? I was once told I have nice veins. Nothing was said about my arteries. But phlebotomists love me

Maybe that I'm covered in dog hair? It's kind of inevitable. My dog is what I describe as aggressively cuddly. Dog hair cannot be avoided.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: The Beatles, the Old 97's, Green Day, the Tossers, Foo Fighters, Stephen Malkmus, Guided by Voices, Fugees, Metallica, Iron & Wine, Calexico, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Haiku D'Etat, Troubled Hubble, Everclear, Atmosphere, Murder By Death, Superdrag, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Nas, A Tribe Called Quest, Rhymefest, OutKast, Kesha

Books: To Kill a Mockingbird, McElligott's Pool, Mr. Popper's Penguins, Operation SOLO: the FBI's Man in the Kremlin, AP Stylebook, the Torah, All the President's Men, The Jungle, Tao Te Ching, Tibetan Book of the Dead, Ramayana, Bhagavad Gita

Movies: To Kill a Mockingbird, Gladiator, Life Is Beautiful, The Rocketeer, The Simpsons Movie, Con Air, Being John Malkovich, The Muppet Movie, Muppet Treasure Island, Muppets From Space, The Muppets

TV shows: The Simpsons, The IT Crowd, Daily Show, Colbert Report, Last Week Tonight, Cosmos, Law and Order: SVU, The Muppet Show, The Rachel Maddow Show, American Horror Story, @midnight

Food: Chicago-style pizza, Chicago-style hotdogs, carne asada, sushi, chicken parmesan, eggs, corned beef hash, popcorn, cereal, tiramisu, cannoli, anything my mom cooks

Bonus category - podcasts: Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me, Savage LoveCast, BBC Global News, Sex Nerd Sandra, How To Do Everything, Strange Brews, Welcome to Night Vale, Star Talk Radio, Sawbones, The Bugle, My Brother My Brother and Me

Bonus category 2 - theater: Noises Off, The Producers, Spamalot, The Book of Mormon, Avenue Q, To Kill a Mockingbird (detecting a theme yet?), Much Ado About Nothing, Antigone. Also, Andrew Lloyd Weber needs to die in a fire. He's a no-talent hack.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My dog
2. Google Calendar
3. Coffee in the morning. And again in the evening. And at some point between the two.
4. CTA card and/or my bike
5. Nerdy podcasts
6. The White Sox
7. A pocket full of pens (at least four at all times).

Yes, that's seven. I'm not a fan of rules.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Writing a book about the Pope. I already have a title picked out: "What does the Pope eat for breakfast (and other questions you'd only dare ask after a few glasses of sacramental wine)?" I'm not even Catholic. But I'm fascinated by the papacy. The Pope is the leader of over a billion Catholics worldwide and yet we know so little about him and the institution of the papacy, which has been shrouded in secrecy for thousands of years. And I love the thought of throwing some light on it.

I also spend a lot of time thinking about how I really have no desire to actually write a book.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I might be found eating delicious food, drinking delicious beer/spirits, hanging with fantastic people, hanging by myself, hanging with my awesome dog, going to see live music or any combination thereof.

No matter where I spend my Friday, I will be found telling a saucy tale and/or making a little stir.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I love drinking beer in the shower.

I want to buy an island off the coast of Alaska, build a house on it and live there. I'll have about 10 dogs and a personal assistant to hunt moose and other wild game for me (and the dogs) to eat.

I'll have a float plane for traveling. I'll spend my days training my dogs for Frisbee competitions and fishing for salmon, cod and other delicious Alaskan seafood.

I'll also probably grow vegetables and brew beer.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Must love dogs. And good beer.

Must be GGG.

If you (and your dog, if you have one) want to join me and my pup on a stroll.

If you're cool with beards on guys. I don't always have one, but I like the option.

If you love and use proper grammar. Please know the differences between your/you're, their/there/they're and too/to/two and understand that apostrophes are not to be used to indicate plurals. Also, messages that simply say "your cute" will be laughed at and deleted.

If you're pierced and/or tattooed. Definitely not a requirement, but I do enjoy them.

Please do not message me if you don't know what language is spoken in England. I never thought I would have to make that a caveat. If you want to know why I had to make that a caveat, just ask.

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