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45 Chicago, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–50
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 5:00am
5′ 9″ (1.74m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Graduated from masters program
Science / Engineering
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I live by the principles of my influences: Monty Python, Looney Tunes, John Muir, Mad Magazine of the 1970’s, Richard Scarry, Dr. Seuss, Dr. Who, Leo Tolstoy, Mr. Rogers, The Clash, and Tom Robbins. For all who say you can't summarize yourself in a sentence, there's your proof it can be done.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
the Hustle. Do it.

Eh, I haven't done all the cool stuff you list off at the top of your profile. Best to move on.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm good at hearing people's thoughts and finding those who see past their own stereotypes and preconceived notions and can appreciate those who are odd or different. How about faults? Expressing feelings in ways that can be misconstrued, keeping in touch, planning social events, accepting praise, dispensing praise, thinking aloud, impatience, overly pragmatic. These lead people to say to say I am unemotional/heartless. Which is not true. I just checked and I have a beating heart in my chest. Then again, so does Dick Cheney, and he is a dick to the nth degree. So I'm not sure what that proves.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I doze off at meetings. Someone pointed this out to me. I replied, "Yeah, I doze off until it's time for the important parts, like when I need to say something".
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Favorite book: "Still Life with Woodpecker" by Tom Robbins. Murakami, McCabe, and Oates are favorite authors.

Favorite movie: "Once Upon a Time in the West."

When asked, "if you could be anyone else who would you choose?" I inevitably choose Tom Waits. Except I don't get cranky if you take me fishing.

I love ice cream. Repeat: love ice cream. My favorite flavor of ice cream is "ate". If you think me to be date-able, ask me out for ice cream and I'll grab my coat right damn now.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Dental floss, boots (I'm partial to my timber boots, and not because they make me a few inches taller), a pair of warm socks, my glasses (or contacts), a steady paycheck, and a quality pillow. Honorable mention to a perfectly conditioned antique cast iron skillet.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How this was not a hit.

How you're a libertarian if you take to the streets for issues like SOPA and gay marriage rights, and you're a progressive if you take to the streets for issues like expanded labor union rights and universal health care. Needless to say, there's too many damned libertarians who think they're progressive.

That Ted Cruz fapped to "Atlas Shrugged" a few too many times.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I've read enough profiles to know y'all do the same things on Fridays, no matter how unique you claim yourself to be. Last Friday I did something I can guarantee none of you did: I accidentally climbed a 200 foot cliff with no safety equipment.

What makes that so unusual? I wasn't drinking a glass of wine when I did it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My favorite curse word is "jesusjumpingchristfuck."

My personality type is RTFM.

I'm more likely to kill a tree than to hug it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Frankly, I cannot think of a good reason not to. (Hey, I used a double negative! My English teachers are all rolling their eyes right about now.) If you want to be engaged, be engaging, or are neutral good, messaging me would be a delight. Well, I'm not long for Chicago, so it's probably best to not message me at all.

I've had people tell me that on a rainy day or when they are feeling down it's fun to answer my questions to read my explanation essays. You'll get entertainment value out of this profile or your money back. And since I'm not on the market for anything romantic, that might be all you get from this profile.

You can message to say I'm a great writer but I'm not. If I were a great writer I'd be making a living at It and not writing short essays on a dating website.