While the above remains true, it really is past time for an update, so here it goes.
i am ultimately looking for a long term, M/s relationship, possibly within a poly household. However, at this time, given that i am a single (read ONLY) parent to two young children and a demanding career, i feel that goal is probably not reasonable at this time. While i always leave room for the possible, sitting back and waiting for the ideal situation doesn't get my needs met. Therefore, at this time i am actively seeking a partner or partners with whom we can mutually satisfy the other's needs. To that end, here is list of qualities that i think would compliment my interests.
1) For male partners- Please be dominant or able to be in the dominant role for extended periods of time. It would also be helpful if you had a sadistic streak as well. While i am always open to friendships with people in any role, i find that i am only sexually attracted to men in the dominant role.
2) For female partners-Please have already determined if you actively enjoy women sexually or not. i am way, way beyond the "curious" or "passively bi" stage in my life, i expect female partners who are at a similar point in their sexual growth as i am. Also, i find that a woman's power exchange orientation does not factor as strongly in my attraction as it does with men. While i am usually more sexually drawn to dominance, i am also attracted to submissive and or switchy women as well.
3) i am a fat chick! i am a soft, healthy, squishy, lush, pleasure to get lost in fat chick. We all have our likes and dislikes and i hold none of them against anybody. If you are someone who is attracted to fat chicks and appreciate all the softness of us, then fantastic! Please contact me! If you are someone who isn't sure, or will "tolerate" the fat to get the sex, please, pursue someone to whom you are attracted. i want to be desired and appreciated for who i am and what i have to offer just like you do.
4) It would be fantastic if some level of sensation play or S/m play could be incorporated into our sessions. For you to top me, i would like it if you have some level of experience and expertise in the style of play that you would like to share. i do top in some skills so depending on who and what is involved, that skill could be incorporated as well.
5) Please know what kind of relationship about which you approach me. If you approach me and start with a casual relationship and voice that you do not wish more, it is unlikely that it will ever evolve into that long term M/s relationship. On the other hand if you approach me looking for something long term, but you try to use me as a booty call, well, woe be unto you.
6) If you are a couple, i am open to talking to couples! However, please be stable in your relationship, make sure that BOTH partners are interested in including others into the bedroom. i understand that jealousy sometimes rears it head at unexpected times and i am more than willing to help work through that if need be, i have done my homework. i have read, wrote, talked to others, and given LOTS of thought to how i feel about poly(amory, fuckery, fidelous) relationships. i expect that you both have done the same.
my hard limits are: i will do nothing that jeapordizes my ability to care for my children (that includes things that risk my career, my finances, might result in arrest, might result in serious injury or illness). i will do nothing that includes a person who is unable or unwilling to consent to the activity (this includes children, unknowing spouses, intoxicated, overly medicated, unconscious players, and "vanillas")
If you have read this far and feel comfortable that you might be compatible, please contact me! i would also invite you to look over my fetlife profile by the same username.