Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Ugh, self-summaries. I guess there are two ways to attempt to
describe yourself: either you can write some vague, broad, and
probably inaccurate paragraph about who you think you are in
general, or you can list a bunch of cute, trivial facts about
yourself and assume that the reader will plug them into some
equation and do a little addition, and hope the solution they come
up with resembles you at least a little bit.
So, both methods.
The tl;dr me: I'm a quiet, rather shy person who enjoys books and
movies and discussing--God, now I know why so many of these
profiles read the same. Listen, I'm an introvert. I'm not really
into socialization for socialization's sake, but I love real
discussions, particularly if they are about literature or movies or
politics or about what someone is actually, honestly thinking or
feeling. I am not an exciting person to be around, unless you are
excited by words and ideas, then I'm passable, I guess. And this is
already too long for a tl;dr.
OK, random pointless facts about me. Intuit what you will:
- I am left handed, and I'm proud of this, for some reason.
- I have green eyes.
- I am a cat person.
- Since everyone gives their Myers-Briggs types for some reason,
I'm usually an INFP, sometimes an INTP. The I and the N are
extremely strong, the F/T and the P less so.
- OK, yeah, I can't think of anything else. If you want to know
something specific about me, send me a message. Seems like a solid
way to start a conversation.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm currently a program coordinator for a non-profit. I'm not
terribly interested in talking about my job, which is odd, because
the work itself is actually very rewarding. But, like most jobs, it
sounds like a yawn-fest on paper.
My dream is to publish a novel someday, even if it's
self-published. Mostly, I just want to prove to myself that I can
write more than 15 coherent pages, and produce something that I'm
proud of. This is not as easy as it sounds.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
This is insanely subjective.
I can't speak to what I'm good at, but I can say what I try my
damnedest to be good at:
I try to listen to others, to understand their motivations and to
empathize with them.
I try to speak and write and think with clarity and depth.
I try to be emotionally honest. I try to experience and express my
feelings, completely, without becoming a victim of them. (I try,
but I don't always succeed.)
I try to see the world as ambiguous and complex, and to not be
superficial or rigid in my thoughts or beliefs.
I try to be uniquely myself without becoming a caricature of
myself. (Definitely fail at the latter sometimes.)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I get the old "you're so quiet!" line a lot. I guess that's fair,
but not very unique.
Otherwise, people will notice that I have a lot of nervous or
restless energy. I'm a habitual pacer, and I'm rarely sitting still
unless I'm in front of a computer screen.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
So, I have a lot of these. I am also a terrible snob. I tend not to
think there is any difference between "high quality" and "fun." I
like works that try to express something profound and emotionally
Anyway, my choices:
Notes from Underground and The Brothers Karamazov
by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Lolita and Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov
The Dream Songs by John Berryman
"The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T. S. Eliot
Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
And a bunch of others. I particularly like modern and pre-modern
fiction. Don't ask me about your favorite YA author or
fantasy/sci-fi series (unless it's LOTR), because I probably won't
have any idea what you're talking about. I can count the number of
books I've read that were published in the last 20 years one hand,
and I could count the number I've read from the last five years on
one finger. (It would be The Signal and the Noise by Nate Silver,
who is one of my personal heroes.)
As Good as It Gets
The Seventh Seal
The Tree of Life
And so many others. I particularly love Bergman and Scorsese, but
there are a huge number of films that I've enjoyed, from basically
Those are the greats, but if you limit it just to shows still on
the air, I love Louie, Mad Men, The Good Wife, and Justified. Oh,
and I know I'm entering tumblr fan girl territory here, but I also
think Hannibal and Sherlock are fantastic.
My musical tastes are in flux. Right now I've been listening to a
lot of Tom Russell. He's an amazing lyricist whose songs are
everything a good story should be.
I love The Wallflowers. Maybe they aren't great by any technical
standard, but their songs really express things that I feel (my
identity?) better than any other band.
I am the kind of person who orders the same food everywhere he
goes. Risk averse behavior, I guess. Chicken Parmesan and General
Tso's Chicken are eternal favorites.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A list like this is always going to have some glaring omissions,
In no particular order:
- My cat, obv.
- My computer, with internet access.
- Books, physical or electronic.
- Work, or some productive outlet to keep despair at bay.
- Family? Friends? I feel obligated to mention something that will
- Yeah, OK. I'm out of ideas. What do you really need when you're a
social recluse whose not that into material things? Hope, I guess.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
It varies, but here are a couple of my favorite topics:
Stories. I'm fascinated by how narratives work. I think a lot about
what makes books, TV shows, and movies good or bad or interesting.
I like to take them apart in my mind and examine all the bits and
Politics. I'm not as sure of my political leanings as I used to be,
but I'm still very interested in the political process. I've worked
on a few small campaigns (once as a campaign manager). I'm a huge
Nate Silver fanboy. I don't have many political convictions. I'm
more interested in hearing what other people believe and why. I do
feel strongly about poverty. I guess it's pretty hard to be
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
in my room, in my apartment, on my computer.
I am not an adventurous dude. I am not a guy who goes to parties or
clubs or stays out until the break of dawn. I have no interest in
being that guy, or being liberated from my shell or of stretching
I am always interested in exploring new ideas and having new
conversations, but I am not interested in doing new things. I like
safety and consistency. I don't like lots of noise or being around
drunks or new, uncomfortable social situations. I know this will
turn off a lot of people, but, frankly, I don't care.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've struggled with depression and anxiety. They aren't
debilitating, but they have been a major source of pain and
suffering for me in the past (and, yes, sometimes in the present).
This isn't something I'm ashamed of. In fact, I'd love to meet
someone who has as well. I think a lot of good can come from
honestly discussing your weaknesses with someone who has had
If you're looking for something more embarrassing, I have to
confess that I have a tumblr: blacktout.tumblr.com
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Well, first of all, if you think that I'm someone that you would
like to have a conversation with. Everything must start there,
I will say that I am looking for a long-term, committed
relationship. I have no interest in a one night stand or casual sex
or a booty call or whatever the kids are calling it these
I want to find another human being who I feel comfortable around,
who I can have long, in depth conversations with, or sit on the
couch and watch movies with, or otherwise just honestly and
affectionately share space with.
I am looking for someone who isn't into drinking, or drugs, or
partying, and who doesn't feel the need to spend most or all their
time orbiting large groups of other humans beings. There are plenty
of extroverts who are wonderful people, and I know you don't have
to be teetotal to be a good human being, but I also know that I
need to find someone whose lifestyle is compatible with mine if
this is going to work in the long run (and that's what I'm
Beyond that, hey, I've been pretty thorough here. Draw your own
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.