Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


31 Salt Lake City, UT Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–37
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 12:36am
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), Albanian (Poorly), Spanish (Okay), Arabic (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Shit. Me? I am made up of the stuff of stars, the ever evolving dance of chemicals and cells caught up in the cycle of change that some how collide, communicate and coalesce into this walking, talking, self-aware monkey encased in an organic wetsuit.

Hi. I'm Parker. Chive on ladies.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Discovering life, myself, but really I am just farting around and enjoying the ride. Now let me eat my Cap'n Crunch and watch Breaking Bad. I am way behind.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Naps. I nap hard. Memory foam mattress, You. Me. Tonight.

Making people laugh. Anything is game too.

Massages. I missed my calling.

My J. O. B. I like jabbing sharp objects into people's skin and then pushing liquid goodness into it to make them feel better.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My dance moves and a smile that is up to no good.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Keep it brief. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!
Invisible Monsters by Chuck P. Lamb. The Shawshank Redemption. Chemistry teachers that make meth. Patriotism by Mishima. The genius of Dr. Sheldon Cooper. A sizzling bowl of be-Bim-bop from the Red Chili. Man on Fire. Satire. Food, tapas style. The man in black, Mr. Cash. The Duchess, Sterling Archer. Throw some hummus in there. Step-Brothers. Mother fucking e.e. cummings. Anything Tarantino, really. A blues electric guitar. Step-Brothers. Bacon and eggs special.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The ability to wander. A good book. Sex.
Breakfast. I love breakfast. Adventure. People.

I could do without pants though.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If the younger version of myself would punch me in the face and if the old geezer I will become will be able to die at peace with the life he was given to live.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Doing a 12 in the ED, hitting the bars, hanging with friends, running a cock fighting ring out of my basement (just kidding).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Got nothing. Not much is private. I said I didn't like pants.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you, me, and a date sounds like a good way to spend your time.