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38 Lakewood, OH Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–48
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Strictly non-monogamous
Has a kid, and might want more
Has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Finnish (Poorly), C++ (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I actually don't like the handle "bleakenigma," but I've had it for so long now I have a hard time letting it go!

I am a huge proponent of the adage, "Know thyself." I appreciate people who have enough self-awareness to generally describe themselves to someone new. Some think it is vain, I do not. Be yourself. Really. People like that and stuff. That's what they tell me at least.

I desperately need a more recent picture, as I have lost a lot of weight as of late. As far as labels go, I identify as a polyamorous married father living in the Cleveland area. I am stable, secure and getting wise in my years. I feel sometimes as though I lost my tribe and am somewhat on my own and alone in this vast world. I have also found that other relationships in my life (of all kinds) only make life richer. For the record, I am not looking to find a third person for a threesome with my wife. Those kind of profiles usually just piss me off.

I am a cancer survivor and considered cured. Mine wasn't a particularly difficult struggle, but it is definitely something I am cognizant of each day.

Work-wise, I am a computer systems and infosec engineer, but also have a long history of working in academia. On the side I run other websites, an e-commerce site as well as Notacon (see below). I am a slave to what inspires me. I am passionate about my interests. In what little time I have after work and being a daddy, I can be found building communities, producing music, spinning records, playing video games and otherwise hacking on whatever interests me at the moment. Also in my spare time I enjoy starting companies and traveling. There are still way too many places in the world I want and need to visit and learn about.

I am also a big fan of movies, including many independent films. While I prefer electronic music (especially complex trance and ambient as well as drum n' bass), I will gladly listen to almost all other musical genres, especially new wave

One thing I am not is socially conservative (hello, polyamory?). I used to strongly identify as such for a long time, but eventually realized that it and Catholicism was never really a good fit. In the end, I grew up and learned a lot more about the world and the people that inhabit it. In particular, I learned that I do not know a lot about a great many things. I prefer it that way, as it always gives me something to learn about

As implied, I am a "recovering Catholic" for those that enjoy that term. Spiritually I am not sure where I'm at right now. When the feeling hits me, though, I know it and try to embrace it as much as I can

It might be nice to point out at this point that I tend not to initiate contact on here because, honestly, I know there's a lot of aggressive asshats and wish not to somehow be lumped in with them. Thus, if you find me potentially worth talking to, feel free to contact me and I will almost certainly respond. Also, I tend to quickmatch a lot for sheer shits and giggles. However, I usually never rate personality until I actually get into a conversation with someone.

I am experience seeking, a doer, and use too many commas.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working while continually in a process of reinventing myself and my life, at least in regards to career concerns. I have some definite goals in mind, I just have to figure out how to get to where I want to be.

I also run a conference called Notacon here in Cleveland as well. I enjoy making music, DJing and camping. I dislike my job, although enjoy working with students. Work is a means to an end and only enables me do all of the things that I actually enjoy doing.

I own a house in Lakewood as well, which is a constant source of fun and, of course, a money sink. My wife and I try to spend time fixing it up and getting our hands dirty. So far we have little to show for our efforts.

Finally, as I mentioned, I enjoy traveling. I enjoy it a lot. I've never had an opportunity to leave the US (except for Canada... and that doesn't count), but intend to someday. I attend a lot of hacker "cons" if only to socialize and people watch. I also enjoy life as a Burner and call Black Rock City a second home.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I like to think I'm good at making music and organizing people. Team building is important to me and I try to bring people from different backgrounds together just to see what they can do (hence, Notacon).

I enjoy making people feel comfortable and wanted and creating environments where people can have fun and be their best.

Blending in is also a trait I seem to have acquired. I feel I have many deviant (by traditional societal norms) stances, interests and leanings. However, if you were to meet me on the street or see me in public, you'd probably think I was a straight-laced, by-the-book, conservative pain in the ass. Thankfully I am not.

I am good at communication and pretty good at the love thing. As always, I have room for improvement, but the fun part is the process more so than the results. I love having conversations with people. I like having my mind probed and doing the same to others. I like to be challenged and forced to think and rethink my positions on issues. I like matching wits and words with others.

For fun I enjoy boardgames and video games. Some of my favorites include Scrabble, Boggle, and any other word game that makes you think. My favorite phone game is Word Hero. I am enamored by shiny things and new technology, but I also believe I have an uncanny knack for looking beyond the bullshit and hype to find the real deal (both in terms of technology and relationships... very handy!)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My smile, eyes and tendency to over-use parenthetical asides (see?).

I am silly and otherwise cute.

Also, people tend to think I look trustworthy and approachable. I'll have to fix that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
First of all, I think Domo-Kun is awesome.

Books: The New Hacker's Dictionary, Contact, Flatland, Anything Douglas Adams and pretty much any book on theoretical physics, quantum mechanics, string theory, brane theory, multiple dimensions, etc. that I can get my hands on. I admit I do not read as much as I ought to.

Movies: The Fifth Element, Interstellar, Contact, Lola Rennt, Donnie Darko, Love Actually, Best in Show, Leon, and Orgazmo among many. I love movies and try to watch as many as I can on the screen, but also attend to a healthy DVD and movie library. If it's independent or just plain fucked up, I'll probably dig it.

Music: Anything new and electronic. Artists such as Jon Hopkins, Boards of Canada (even if they're not Canadian), Cirrus, Electric Skychurch, Astralasia, Orb, Massive Attack, FC Kahuna, DJ QBert, and Epic Rap Battles of History. I have been known to get down with downtempo, ambient and really weird shit every now and then. I am partial to Pink Floyd, Rush, Liquid Tension Experiment and Progressive Rock, but I dislike country. For some inexplicable reason I actually like bluegrass. I have also recently gotten into such groups as Nightwish and Blind Guardian.

Foods: Steak, pizza, typical "guy" foods. I have been known to indulge on frozen custard... I miss having a shop at the end of the street as it helped immensely to feed my addiction.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) Freedom 2) Intuition 3) Family (wife tygerdsebat and daughter) 4) Interesting conversations 5) Meaningful relationships 6) My computers
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Since I often don't "feel my age", I wonder if older folks feel the same way. I.e., you have the body and experience of a 70, 80 or 90 year old, but still the mind of someone in the 20s or 30s.

Why my only visitors tend to be people with a match percentage south of 50.

If I am perceived by others as being "too good to be true". Also, the the resulting guilt from realizing the hubris in wondering it in the first place.

I tend to think a lot about life's "big pictures" and how all of the disparate parts of life fit together in some larger context that most people do not even attempt to comprehend.

I ponder if I ought to seriously find out more about Buddhism.

Why most kids are really smart and adults are so stupid.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Relaxing at home, or hanging out with friends. I have a special place in my heart for the Winking Lizard. Sometimes I throw kick ass parties. During the summer, I'm probably camping or scurrying about the country.

Regardless, I try to live every moment to its fullest, even when that means slowing down, taking a seat and just watching it all roll past. Sometimes observation is participation.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
A few things:

- I really dig ink, piercings, blue hair, etc., even though I don't sport them myself (anymore, in the case of hair, yet in the case of piercings and ink)

- I have the beginnings of vitiligo. However no one really notices it a lot of the time unless I have a tan (which is rare since I'm a nerd)

- Even though I'm a huge fan of electronic music, I have a huge soft spot for Gordon Lightfoot and Harry Chapin.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to meet someone interesting and humorous and can accept the fact that I'm married and have a young child. If not, that's cool. I know there are lots of other neat guys out there for you.

You're poly and looking for kindred spirits in the NEO area.

Feel free to challenge me on anything, but be warned I have little to no interest in arguing the correctness of personal lifestyle choices.