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57 M Philadelphia, PA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 42–57
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:26am
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Other, and very serious about it
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Me as of Summer 2014

I can be best defined by the choices I made. Moving to NYC - from SF - 30 years ago, leaving NYC 10 years ago, living on Shelter Island next to the sea the whole time and now relocating to center city Philadelphia. Committing myself to creativity, design, answering my calling and not hewing to convention.

I love creating - professionally (print, motion, interactive, live action), in the kitchen, on a walk and interpersonally and I love indulging my curiosity in things trivial and profound.

It has been a life of amazing adventures.

I appreciate each one and look forward to more. My life is informed by these experiences and while most have been good, some have not, yet they have created a beautiful tapestry, provided great lessons and I would not trade a single one of them.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Still learning. Really! Expansive, inquisitive. I work in design with success, I'm a musician, sail, kayak, cycle, cook (well). I regularly question my status quo which keeps me on an ever evolving path.

Nothing is static. I am Metaphysically agile.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Design, music, art, social interaction, learning, playing, trying, succeeding, failing. I am empathetic. My aim is true. I love chance and spontaneity. I engage life with enthusiasm and I love expanding my spirit, my skills and honing my aesthetic. I am good at living and loving life.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is my smile, and upbeat attitude. People note that my demeanor belies my age. It doesn't mean that I am "young" for my age. It simply means that the path I travelled has yielded an individual who doesn't conform to archetypes. I have friends who are 75 and friends who are 21. And they both sit at my table for dinner. Together. It wasn't really planned or pursued, but the combination of circumstance, disposition and dosha has provided a resilient vessel and an insatiable curiosity which return a irrepressible and dynamic engagement with life. It is noted that I am smart, engaged, happy, well spoken. Maybe a tad loquacious. Oh well. And that I am a good listener.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Mainstream media - movies, TV, books or music - doesn't speak my language. I don't engage the news machine anymore because its the same story different year.

I love to entertain, cook and pair wine with what I prepare.

I listen to KCRW, KEXP, WPKN, WXPN - to name a few - streaming because they play, at best, really good mostly unknown music, at worst esoteric familiar stuff. I listen to an eclectic selection gathered over the years. I am currently listening to Wolf-Alice. Polica, Future Islands, Alice Russel, Radiohead, Zoe Keating, Richard Thompson, James Hunter, Nick Drake, Arvo Part, Lou Doillon, Bon Iver, Bill Henry, King Sunny Ade, Meshell Ndgeocello, Silversun Pickups, Jim James, Alt J, Anouar Brahem, The Decoders, Fela Kuti among many many others.

I fish around Netflix or iTunes for streaming movies, music or documentaries. TED can be interesting.

I am well spoken but am much more visually oriented. I collect art and love playing music live and experiencing artists and their art and creating with others. There is vibrancy in unknown artists and their spontaneous creativity .

Social interaction is a favorite of mine. Probably the favorite.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
living in possibility

I know none of the above are "things" but I can't really think of indespensible "things". I like this modern way we live, but if it were all to vanish, and it won't, I think life, living, might actually be better. And none of the above would go away if we were to lose iPhones/iPads/iCrap.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
being and experiencing now.

I think a lot about this new chapter in Philadelphia. On a metaphysical plane, I think of the value of chance and change. What the universe will present. Is joy portable? Nature v. Nurture stuff. Am I happy/healthy due to where I live or do I live where I do because I am happy and healthy? I lean to the latter. See, things trivial and profound.

Community, discovery, travel. I think of food, music, friends and putting all three together in one place.

I am also currently fascinated by joy and if there are any limits to joy. Is joy infinite?

How Ashtanga changed the course of my spirit/being. How something that is so quiet and personal can be so profound.

And finally - Social Grace and the Internet Introductions

Some seem to make the worst assumptions about people genuinely, respectfully communicating with them because those who initiate contact are an abstraction. They may be perceived as not real. So treating said enquiries as nothing more than bothersome or worse is considered valid.

The lack of commitment to what one is ostensibly "online" for - to meet someone has significantly eroded the dialogue in meeting and getting to know someone. After all, isn't this forum simply a launching point? Quite frequently, those who ignore or worse, trash genuine letters often haven’t even looked at the letter, if they did, they would not trash them, unless...

Prior to internet dating, people would meet at work, through friends and family, the social contract required that people at least act with respect for themselves and the other - because one may have to answer to the person who introduced or work with the other on a daily basis.

Now, things are different: The cycle is really short and much is executed in the heat of moment. People online are free to act out their worst impulses with very little incentive to act out their best. The space between self-image - drawn from the recipients profile - and action - defined by their response or lack thereof - is arresting.

Because abstraction is built in to the online exchange we don’t have the cues that prompt reasoned social response or discourse. You don’t get that real time feedback. There’s a distortion and dissonance of social cues that can occur when your communication is without consequence. I won't believe that many I query here are social misanthropes or malcontents. If they acted this way in interpersonal situations, they would be outcasts and all alone. Maybe they are.

One can be dismissive and callous with the click of the mouse. It seems, to me, that those who engage in such behavior have normalized this lack of grace and self respect. The entire process - photos, writing profiles, regularly checking the site is reduced to passing on a shirt at And really that speaks volumes about those who “auto trash” inquiries. And I believe the human condition does not want to be that way, yet due to the fact that there is this formidable filter, the internet, and the ability to act with out consequence, many assume it's just alright to practice such behavior.

In the long run, who suffers the consequence? While it hurts that the crafted letter is trashed, the author acted with dignity and integrity and the recipient who trashes must carry the weight of being out of integrity. Maybe this is making a mountain out of nothing, I think not. I really do believe every compulsive/impulsive trashing of reasoned missives affects the deleter much more than the deleted. Deleters end up with deleters. Deleters attract similar beings. People like them - small minded, who make rash decisions, who are quick to judge, to leave, to look elsewhere. Impulsive, or worse, compulsive decisions based on nothing more than the instant reading of the deleter's own insecurity. Instant trashing is cynical and a definitive measure of those with their finger on "delete" not those being deleted. Reducing someone to a product in a catalogue is no way to respect oneself, the one initiating dialogue or the modality let alone meet or interact, is it?

It is said that over 60% of communication is non verbal. On line we are lacking most communication and instead of stretching and taking into consideration the medium, many simply don’t respond. That way, in a reactionary delete, the deleter knows where they stand. They need not challenge themselves. They need not question status quo. The need only be lazy. There is false safety in the deleting. They need ask nothing of themselves and disengage further from the social fabric. Soon deleting becomes a self fulfilling prophesy. Deleters are alone.

On line we are not getting the rich feedback that exists in an interpersonal environment. When we’re communicating in 3D, we use all of our senses. Eyes, voice, body, all of which gets stripped away when you’re simply reacting to an electronic letter. This modality requires extra effort, to read a profile or a letter, if it is considered, once or twice, to understand that there is a beating heart behind the words.

Humans lose basic skills when their interaction becomes automated. Automation tends to degrade subtle skills that depend on real world interaction and real world feedback. That phenomenon exists when it comes to social networks and socializing through a computer. And this dynamic seems to be embraced - in my experience - by a majority of on line practitioners.

Many think of the dismissals of authentic letters online is the price one pays to take part in the free, open world of social media. But compromise of ones integrity hurts the one compromising. There is no win in deleting a genuine letter, instead it makes the deleter a coarser individual, it strips a little of that “human” thing away with each delete.

There is a very strong chance that certain voices, valuable voices and real interaction is missed. Boundaries can be established in a response, boundaries that will close the conversation with tact or continue it according to the participants desire and self respect.

So a great method to meet, to expand social circles and to possibly develop a friendship or a romance is systemically undermined as much by the power of hiding behind the cloak of anonymity to be off color, untoward, asocial or worse, antisocial, and the power of doing to others as you would not have others do unto you. It becomes too much social noise to deal with. The "community" is then inhabited by social trolls, ne'er do wells and misanthropes. The pond becomes polluted and life dies.

It is amazing - what one does and the consequences of said actions when one thinks no one is looking.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
My life is changing radically due to my move to Philadelphia but Friday can be Monday and Monday can be Saturday. There is no chronology in my life. So I might be against a work deadline or at the farmer's market. I maybe away for a sail or having friends for dinner, I might be listening to or playing music.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've kind of shared it all here.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
if you are looking for an engaging, honest, expansive relationship. I am interesting, fun and enlightened.

You should message me if I have emailed you because you have good manners. Just sayin...