Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I was born on a mountain crag at night while the cries of the snow
leopards echoing below. Left to die in the savage snows. A bitch
wolf gave me suck and raised me to be an alpha wolf. I was with the
pack ten years before men came.
They took me out of curiosity. I was hauled to their cities in
chains as a new found wonder. One night I bit out my jailer’s
throat and ran free under the moon. By then I knew speech. I made
my way to the New World on a steamship.
Since then, I’ve tamed lands, beasts, and women. Dark eyed servant
girls laughed and filled my cup with wine; my cellars were stacked
high with gold. Still. I was troubled by dreams. Talons of snow in
the dark. The shrieking wind.
I'm totally super ceral.
on an unrelated note, check out my bandcamp:
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Gold. Jewels. Horses. Yachts. Actually I call them “boats” now.
It’s gauche to call a yacht a “yacht.” They teach you that in
schools for extraordinary people. Oh, you haven’t been?
Hang gliding. Paragliding. Flying private planes drunk like JFK
junior. Chess. Jaguar wrangling. The finest Colombian cocaine. I
once tamed a lion simply by looking at it. I also teach adult
literacy at my local library.
Seriously: I have a job, It’s not my life. I do it so I can get a
check that lets me make art, make music, travel, and live and shit.
Fuck finding your soulmate, let’s get sauced some night and talk
shit and see if we like each other.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Cat’s Cradle, The Last Temptation of Christ, The Holy Mountain,
AC/DC before Bon Scott bit it, Curtis “Pussycrusher” Mayfield,
Dolly “Cock Destroyer” Parton, NWA, early Bukowski, Nabokov but not
to where I’m gonna want to talk about the footnotes to Pale Fire
with you, Dale Carnegie’s How to Not Get a Boner on the Bus and
Weird Everyone the Fuck Out, The Bible, The Qu’ran spelled with a Q
and prominently displayed so you know how multicultural I am,
Solaris (the real one), Rumi, Leonard “The Superpimp” Cohen, The
Big Bang Theory if every episode were just 22 minutes of the cast
being slowly skinned alive, ASOIAF which I don’t need to spell out
for you cuz you’re a dork, Claude “Ass Shredder” Debussy, Johann
Sebastian “Thunderscrote” Bach, Spongebob if baked.
I also religiously watch the Human Centipede
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Alcohol. Music. Tits. Three tits so the math works out
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Streaking through cities while evading the police. I also help the
You should message me if
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don't call me, i'll call you
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