I have many dubious qualities. Owing to space constraints, I offer the following sampling...
I tend to be the anti-hero of most of my stories which delights my friends to no end. The one involving me, a pack of coyotes (the collective noun for which is a rout!), a tape recorder, and a bowl of cereal is a perennial favorite.
I am passionate about what I do and am drawn to those who live according to passion and principle (in a non-dogmatic, secular kind of way). I am driven equally by Goethe's maxim "the dangers of life are infinite and safety is among them," and Diderot's "the purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." Not eating anything bigger than your head is also a good rule of thumb.
I have a deep and abiding hatred/fear of creatures that move laterally (crabs, snakes, etc.). Also wicker. For years I did not know that “P.Y.T.” in Michael Jackson’s song “P.Y.T.” stood for “pretty young thing.” (This even though the chorus begins “I want to love you, PYT, pretty young thing…” The cognitive/sensory dissonance that comes from the fact that certain things can smell one way and taste another (e.g. bakers chocolate, vanilla extract) makes me sleepy.
I enjoy getting lost, dramatic weather, cut grass, the car wash, sparklers, the drive-in, and most things coin operated. Also, ice cream sandwiches. And granny smith apples.
YOU should carry around a lot of change and have an ice cream sandwich vending machine. Or, short of that, an apple tree.
I will allow for the fact that some of the following may come across as unkind, uncalled for, or unsportsmanlike—fair enough. I would say I'm sorry, but no one ever apologized their way into another's heart.
You probably do not begin your self-summary w/ the words "My friends would describe me as..." (for if you do it's possible you lack the requisite self-awareness for an adult relationship).
PETS (and pictures thereof). You probably do not have as many or more pictures of your pet(s) as of yourself. Relationships with pets can of course be transcendent, complex, and surprisingly rich. That said, I am not interested in dating your pet (there are other websites for such things), so perhaps just the one photo of your whippet.
You probably do not "work hard and play harder" because that's dumb.
Unless it is a Roald Dahl reference, you most likely do not have the word "peach" in your username.
*I would also like to find someone who can tell me that there is no right way to fold a fitted sheet (I would accept someone who can show me the right way to fold a fitted sheet).
I recently learned how to make the perfect martini. Recipe upon request.
I will watch a documentary on most any topic... Also: Werner Herzog, David Lynch, Almodovar, Lars von Trier.
Artists: Caravaggio, Diane Arbus, Egon Shiele, Joseph Cornell, Lonnie Holley, Eadweard Muybridge, Thornton Dial, Lonnie Holley, Sarah Moon
Music: Fever Ray, Patsy Cline, The Clash, The National, Thelonious Monk, Nina Simone, Throwing Muses, Public Enemy, Led Zeppelin, Sun Kil Moon, Glenn Gould, Tricky, The Smiths, Steve Reich, Dum Dum Girls, The Staple Singers, How To Dress Well, Loscil, El Perro del Mar, jj, Wye Oak, Talk Talk, Curtis Mayfield, Perfume Genius
3. What? No, of course I don't value coffee more than you.
4. They asked for a simple list of things I could never do without, not a ranking.
5. Of course I would rank you higher than coffee.
6. What do you mean what am I doing on a dating website?