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bluelava

35 M Decatur, GA

My Details

Last Online
Jun 20
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
Trying to quit
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
In college, I thoughta class in Buddhism would be a cool way to satisfy a philosophy/religion core credit. Turns out it was mostly a dry, academic reading of the history of the budding Buddhist bureaucracy. The Mahayana and Thereveda may as well have been Protestant and Catholic; it was a political, rather than a philosophical analysis. The mystical wrangling with the problem of suffering was just another fact in that class. We discussed the what but not the how or why.

Feeling a little let down, I decided to write a my final paper on what seemed the most promising-Zen Buddhism. I was interested in how Zen monks influenced Western authors like Hesse and Kerouac and wondered if their conception was a diluted "westernized" version of the real stuff amongst misty mountains. I was also curious whether any of the subsequent Zen pop explosion in the West had filtered back and influenced the general understanding.

I enjoyed the research in the library and continued to read until the papers were just about due. Once I became aware of how poorly I had planned my time (I should have had at least a rough draft after the midpoint) I decided that there was no point in even trying to write it. I would just fail.

The day it was due, I actually handed him an eight page paper titled "The Influence of Zen Buddhist Thought in America." The last seven pages were blank. For now at least that is the story of my life.

I am humbled, restless, and pretty good company
I’m really good at
Finding the answers to complex problems. Making quesadillas. Whistlin'.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Spoon, Dan Deacon, The Octopus Project, Cujo, Cut Chemist, Tool, Macha, The Warlocks, Beta Band, Television, Curtis Mayfield, Mos Def, Def Jux, Woody Guthrie and all those other people who can pull you to the past by the presence of their voice. I like it when a record really strikes as a true document of the timeReally, I mostly like it all: psych garage, folkpunk, dub, dnb, soul, hip hop. About the only genre of music I don't like is self-indulgent experimental noise like recordings of change going through a drier. Even then I sometimes still keep the dial locked in cuz you never know what weird noise trick they might pull next. But yeah, usually just another couple of minutes of drier with maybe a shoe added in to the mix. I'd take that over any bland overproduced "pop." How some stuff is popular is a mystery to me. Is it just because they play it over tinny speakers high above the aisles of Kroger?
The six things I could never do without
You know, I started to write stuff like "music" and "my hands" and "eyesight" and "pizza" but I'm pretty sure I could get by without those things. However, without hope and curiosity, I would have been dead years ago. Add love to the essential list and that about wraps it up. Oh, and animals. And plants. Ok, I'll stop now.

UPDATE: Maybe not music. I surprise myself how long I can sit in silence, but I absolutely love making new sounds fit together and hearing the others do the same.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
why there are so many empty buildings and homeless people. . . how important education is, and how many people are happy to stop questioning things and settle into a "stable" way of life . . . how i can help inspire and participate in a coordinated, distributed counter-propaganda campaign that will justly call the lies that prop up our society and offer an alternative vision of distributed democracy supported by humanistic technology . . . how i can be a better person . . .
On a typical Friday night I am
who knows? looks like right now I'm at home. Can't say I'm disappointed, but I'm not exactly excited either. I think this is what Dante may have considered purgatory. Meh. Friday is really just another day to me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I recently rediscovered an account I had started three years ago, used for a few weeks and forgot about. Curious, i opened it to see what would be different. Not too much, but there are some surprises. A few days ago I rewrote some of the profile because I was bored and alone and frustrated with the way I've managed to sabotage myself over the years. Do you know which profile it is? Which is the better match? What is the difference?

Also, I just now noticed that my brief description was "I am a drug-addicted, hopeless fool and I welcome you." Hmm. Forgot I had left that cynical anti-pickup line (maybe a putdown?) Three points: 1. I don't consider myself a drug addict but I can say drugs and alcohol have fucked things up for me in the past. 2. I'm not a hopeless fool. You learn a lot exploring extreme ups and downs of the human condition, and from what I can tell, things aren't hopeless. A fool, maybe. But who's to judge? 3. I do welcome you. Especially if you have found yourself similarly frustrated by the casual cruelty and apparent indifference of the world around us. Double especially if despite this existential maw looming over our heads, you are awed by the peculiar and beautiful way everything from fireflies to distant stars fit together. How clouds flow like rivers and bugs walk on water. If your reaction to Nothingness is to subsume and create, then I welcome the opportunity to apply that salve of compassionate novelty to the wounds of the world.

There are only a few things that keep me from thinking too much. Music is one of them :)
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–46
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, short-term dating
You should message me if
you want to know more about me or collaborate artistically.. . if you want to watch a good movie and have a vibrant discussion . . . if you think we can help each other out but aren't sure how . . . you're a mental mercenary or a multi-millionaire. or both :)