Random Gentle Love Master (RGLM)
11/18/13- VICTUM OF SURVIVAL...... Something I've been pondering lately. Growing up was not exactly the all american "Leave it to Beaver" type childhood. As I'm sure this is true for most in my generation. Childhood hardship varies and is not uncommon anywhere int the world. Although some experience something so profound and traumatic that it changes them for ever. Either for the better or for the worst. For example someone might give up on life and become a drug attic while another will grow up to become an activist. For myself, I vowed to make a difference no matter what my circumstance when I grew up. I swore that I would help other kids in my situation that did not have a voice or someone to fight for them. It became a mission in life and still is. The childhood I had was a crash course education on some of the worst life has to offer hard and fast. Needles to say I matured quickly and gained a massive amount of life experience at an early age. Growing up a lot of my friends looked up to me and respected me for this. They would often ask for help or advice on different things. I got used to helping people when I could. So this is going somewhere I promise. I'm talking to a girl I dated; trying to figure out why things aren't working out. I've had lots of solid healthy relationships but at some point they fizzle out and die. So there had to be a common factor. So I ask her what was the number one thing that bothered her. She said she felt bad for me. I had shared some things about my past and she said that she felt sorry for me. Like I was a victim. Then she followed up by saying she knew I was not a victim but just the way that I told the stories and shared my experience with people made her feel sorry for me. Then on top of that because of my life experience she was always irritated when I would back up an opinion I had based on something I had gone thru when I was younger. So this is crazy to me. I'm taking these horrible things and trying to help others. Sharing some very intimate experience about my childhood to show others its possible to survive, to come out on the other side. All she ever felt was sorry for me when I did that. It kinda hurt to hear that. Made me think a lot about how I interact with people in general. This whole time I was trying to do something good, but at least one person didn't see it that way. She saw me as a victim, a victim of survival..........Does that make any damn sense. Adulthood is way to complicated for my liking. I wanna go back to passing notes in class. "Do you like me? check yes or no " those were the good ol days!
11/01/13- MONOGAMY..... I'm not so sure!?! When your single long enough, you start analyzing your relationships. What works what doesn't work. Try to improve yourself and become more functional in a monogamous relationship. Thing is repeating the same thing over and over expecting things to change is pure insanity. When someone is addicted to drugs we don't suggest that they try to get healthy by doing the drugs differently or simply try other drugs. If someone is an alcoholic we don't suggest they switch from hard liquor to beer. So if something doest work we should simply stop that behavior and move in a new direction all together. Statistically, divorce rates are at an all-time high. Watching my friends, it seems like most people are having about the same luck that I am having. Looking back thru time. As a society and a race, we have continuously evolved to keep with the changing time and to improv our quality of life. When things stop working we move on to the new and improved idea. For all intensive purposes, from what I can tell, marriage was an institution that suppressed woman. Even more made them property of the man they marry. No wonder we are at an all time high with divorce now that women have equal rights. Women are no longer property, they have their own careers, money, and lives. So they don't have to stay in a marriage that they are not happy in. With that in mind I wonder how it is that women still desire to be part of an institution that was originally and even still today oppresses woman. More than that there have been studies to suggest that it is not our nature to be monogamous in the first place. When you think about it, even when marriage was working, how many marriages were truly successfully monogamous. I doubt many. In those days women didn't have the options to leave that they have now. It seems to me that marriage is an outdated institution. Its clearly not working. So why are we still trying so hard to make it work. Why are we trying so hard to force ourselves into a box that clearly doesn't fit and goes against our true nature. Well a few reasons that I can think of. We don't wanna be judged. Religious people would have you believe you'll go to hell. Some people would call a woman promiscuous. Some would refer to a man as a player. I think sex is one of the leading causes of dishonesty in any relationship. If you think back on personal experience I'll bet you find this to be true. So how do we eliminate this dishonesty? Well a man that knows himself can be trusted. This is because a man that is honest with himself about who he is can be honest with those around him the same way. If we stop creating unrealistic expectations of ourselves and those around us then we free ourselves to actually be happy together. This comes to accepting that like everything else that we have done overtime we need to evolve our relationships. It is the one thing that has stayed the same for thousands of years. Today those that live outside those lines are chastised or looked down on. Sad thing is those people outside the lines seem to be truly happy in whatever type of relationship they are in. So how do we evolve our relationships? I have no idea. I'm not saying that I am not capable of monogamy, it just hasn't worked. So why keep trying it. I feel like there has to be something better out there that will work. How that starts...... thats anyones guess. Not like you can just go ask a girl "hey you wanna be a swinger," or "hey you wanna be on a poly amorous relationship?". Not saying thats what I want. Im just saying I'm tired of beating my head against the wall trying to make something work that society as a whole is clearly demonstrating does not work. Don't get me wrong I'm a hopeless romantic. I just don't think our lives a structured to have the same types of relationships that people used to in the old days. So I wanna find a way that a relationship does work in todays world where I can still be the hopeless romantic. What ever that might be I'm open to ideas. Let me know your thoughts if you read this far. I'm interested to see what others think about this. As always thanks for reading my rants.
03/19/13- So I have come to a conclusion. It takes time to really know someone. Most of my friends ( including myself ) have had multiple relationships that have last around 1 yr. I have seen and felt the devastation of losing the time and friendship invested over a year long relationship. I believe this is common because it takes about a year to really get to know a person. It takes about a year to get past the honey moon phase. I'm tired of loosing friends and lovers because I got into a relationship too quick. And lets be honest, once your bf and gf, its extremely hard to go back to being just friends. It boggles my mind how much time I've lost in all these types of relationships. Believe me when I say this is mostly all my doing, I'm probably more guilty than anyone of meeting someone, feeling that excitement of a new person that makes me happy and I enjoy being around, and then rushing into a relationship. So I have come to a resolution. I want to hang out, date, be friends or what ever you want to call it for at least a year before I jump into my next relationship. I think this my be a bit slow, but if I take my time maybe the next one will be the one. Besides I can't possibly loose more time than I already have by rushing into relationships. But hey, what do I know? I'm just a single guy looking for that magic that happens when I meet the girl of my dreams.
02/10/13- The caliber of women on here has been more disappointing than seeing Bush Jr elected for president twice, even more disappointing than seeing Obama Elected twice, in short more disappointing than the poor quality of representation that seem to get elected to run this country. Although how can I be surprised if the women I meet on here are voting. With that said, I have no interest in fucking you or having a fuck buddy. If I wanna get laid its not hard and I don't need OKC to find random hookups, nor would I be on here if thats all I wanted. SO, DO NOT PREMISE OUR FIRST CONVERSATION WITH ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR WILLINGNESS TO SLEEP OR NOT SLEEP WITH ME. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'D BE WILLING SO DONT MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF BY SAYING THAT! In short this seems to be a waist of time and energy but I am an optimist. So heres the score. I'm not into emailing back and forth, I don't have time for that. If your interested in getting to know me then email me and we can hook up to go for a hike. I hike 5 miles ( backside of Cowles Mtn ) 4 to 5 days a week. I'm into casual hangouts and outdoors activities. This will be the first time we hang out. No exceptions. Dates and romance are earned and I'm done wasting my time and money on serial daters. If after the first time we hang out there is chemistry then I might ask you on a real date. If you don't like that then I am not the right guy for you. If what is written above offends you, then I am not the right guy for you. My grandpa always said if someone isn't mad about what your doing then your not doing it right. Thanks for reading.
01/27/13- UNREAL: I talked to a girl on here last night and was floored by here response. I sent her a message that she looked pretty in her picture. See I'm somewhat a simple country boy, I say what I mean and I don't use any kinda double speak, and I'm never afraid to tell a girl what I think or feel. Her response to me was that she was way out of my league, and she had no time for sensibilities of a man that was inadequate for her. WOW! Never had a girl respond like that to being called pretty. I'm beginning to thing that I was right in what I wrote in my very first post. Not sure that this online thing is the right way to go. Seems like there are just a bunch of broken people on here or maybe my expectations are to high. Either way maybe someone will prove me wrong but I doubt it. Never met someone that would ever talk like that in person, and I've met a lot of people. Well, good luck to ya'll on here and feel free to message me anytime.
01/25/13- So I talked to a girl on here last night and was blown away by the ignorance I ran into during our conversation. Which has prompted this latest entry. Lets get on thing straight, the capacity in which people can be attracted to each other and feel for each other can not be quantified in a computer program. What that means is the computer cannot predict how a persons smile, the smell of their hair, the feel of their touch, the sound of their voice, their company, the look in their eyes, their pheromones, their laugh, their kiss, or their love will make you feel. We have our five sense for a reason. We use them to make all these determinations about the people we are around. A computer cannot do this for us based on a few questions. People will always disagree, the goal is not to find someone that thinks like you but rather find someone that respects the way you think. If I wanted a person that thought exactly as I did I would clone myself and get married. So I don't care what our match percentage is. Opposites attract. I've met girls on here that were a 98% match and had nothing I liked about them. So if you tell me that your going to let a computer decide for you who you will have in your life then thats all I need to know. For me, I require a person that can think for themselves, and further more challenge the way I think. BTW, it is possible to meet someone just for friends. I do it all the time. Just cause this is a dating site does not mean that you can't make friends here too. Ok I think I'm done with my rant for the day. Take care ya'll.
01/24/13- I figured it out today. I'm looking for that girl that I can't live with out. A girl that when I wake up next to her in the morning she is the most beautiful sight I've ever laid my eyes on. Looking for that love that lights my soul on fire. I want to share that passion with someone, and I want a girl that feels the same.
01/21/13- DONE! I'm not chasing anymore. Its pointless on here. Not really into just being outright ignored. There used to be such a thing as common courtesy. Someone says hi to you then you say hi back. Apparently on here, most of the women seem like if you said hi to them in person they would turn their nose up and ignore you. I'm not into that. Everyone Deserves common courtesy. Everyone deserves at least a "hi but no thank you." Its a disgrace that we are in such a state as a society that we cannot be bothered to have a few manners. Sorry, maybe I'm a lil to country for this online thing, but it just blows my mind how rude people are to each other. Anyway I'm done messaging people. If you wanna chat, then send me a message and I'll always show you enough respect to reply. Take care y'all.
01/18/13- Whats the point of this super safe online contact where you can meet people and explore conversation with them and get to know them from the safety and comfort of your own home, IF ALMOST EVERY TIME YOU MESSAGE A GIRL YOU GET IGNORED!!!!!!!!!!!
01/10/13- I wonder, can a relationship be simple. Can I just say what I think and be straight about how I feel. Will that kind of honesty make you run. Is it possible to really be myself with a woman in an intimate way and know that my trust will never be betrayed. Will you forgive quickly, forget the transgressions and dwell on the sweetest moments we shared. Are you willing to open yourself up, make yourself vulnerable, and trust me entirely with your heart. I don't need you to be happy all the time, or to always know what you want, or even to make sense. I don't mind if things are messy sometimes or even a little chaos. All I really need is for you to care, love and take an interest in who I really am, and let me do the same for you. I am willing to fight for it, I am willing to sacrifice for it, I am willing to bleed every last drop from my heart for love. What about you?
01/07/13- The book and the cover definitely do not match. I am a motivated, educated, successful businessman that love to go out and experience life. Its a shame that most of the women that see my pictures of my tattoos, my career as a tattoo artist, or the fact that I have kids from a previous relationship, decide that I'm not that guy. I love to travel, go out to nice places, see live show, hold hands and be romantic. I love surprising a girl with little unexpected things like a hidden note, flowers, or a sweet text message. I'm an extremely dynamic individual with a wide variety of interests. I definitely have a bad boy look, and it seems like a lot of girls wanna use me a their good time guy. Sure I definitely fit the bill, but I'm more than that. I want a girl that wants more than that with me. So before you decide to message or not message me, make sure your ready to get to know me. Everyone deserves a chance and anyone can be a friend!
01/06/13- The games we play or claim not to play. Truth is we all play for fear or hope of love we gain. Things we say or choose not to say hoping our love will not go away. Should I call, or should I text, or should I wait another day. Wondering, waiting, is this the one that will go all the way. Invest your heart, share you love, this is a singles gambling way. Go all in, BUST! And like an addict we'll be back again. This hearts been broken, torn, crushed, and stitched. But every time we loose we get closer to winning, and spending our lives enjoying the most rewarding love of all time!
01/04/13- Just talked to an ex of mine. Looking back I've come to realize that sometimes we think we want answers. We ask questions that if answered honestly could be rather painful. Yet we persist with the questions that we hope will produce the answers we imagine them to be. Then reality strikes, and the answers we get can be devastatingly hurtful. There is a lot to be said for "ignorance is bliss". I made this mistake today and I'm not sure it helped me at all. Time will tell. Although the answers I got left me feeling like finding someone to spend my life with will be a hopeless journey because of having been married with kids. My advice consider carefully the answers you seek before you ask the question. :'( 2am, and these answers won't let me sleep. Right now I'd be happy to just have a good friend to talk to. Anyone out there?
12/30/12- The search continues as I find myself single for New Years Eve. Life is messy, relationships are complicated. It almost seems like there are just a few lucky people out there that have defied the odds and found someone they can be happy with. Its like some secret society that I can't seem to get an invite too.
8/9/12- So just curious. Why is it that so many girls have pictures of themselves in the car driving. This concerns me. First of all what are all you ladies doing in the car that you decide to take a picture of your self. Second, I've heard that texting and driving is dangerous, but posing for a picture while driving, SERiOUSLY! Thats just plain silly. The only conclusion I can come to is that you ladies are setting up your profile while driving. I'm just waiting for one of those commercials on tv that talk about people crashing while on the phone to say " this girl was posing for a picture for her dating profile when she crashed." LMFAO
07/25/12- There used to be a time when people used to meet face to face. We used to look into each others eyes and be able to see, hear, and feel a persons sincerity. It makes me sad to think that this is whats considered old fashioned. I like to open doors, pull out chairs and be a gentlemen. Its devastating to me that there are women out there who actually are uncomfortable or do not like being treated that way. Its a tragedy that people think they can get to know each other thru email and texting. I want something real, not virtual. I want to look into a woman's eyes, see her smile, hear her laugh, and be able to kiss her goodnight. I can't do that thru email or texting. If you want something real, then message me to meet up. Worst that can happen is we become friends.
06/28/12- I want a woman thats willing to take the time to get to know me. I'm not gonna just give everything away over a few emails. Before online dating people used to take the time to get to know someone, thats how friendships are built. This time around its about quality for me. Slow n steady. My future partner or any of my friends should want to take the time to get to know me. In a society based on immediate gratification its no surprise that we have the highest divorce rate in the world. Something built in minutes cannot last decades.
06/07/12- My future wife should be my best friend. I want that life time fairy tale, happily ever after and all that.
06/01/12-I don't know about this online thing. Seems like some things are better left the old fashion way. Unfortunately, I have an insane schedule and I do not have a lot of free time to go out searching for the right woman to complete my life. What I'm looking for? Well its like this, I want the fairytale, in love, happily ever after, grow old, walks on the beach. I want a girl that I can't stop thinking about. I have had everything imaginable in life and have come to realize that there is nothing that can compare to that special person you share your life with. I would give away everything in a heart beat for that. Unfortunately my life is not so simple. I am divorced with kids that live with my x. Was married for quite a while. All my kids are with my x. I married her for all the wrong reasons, she got pregnant when I we were 19 and I thought that was the right thing to do. Well years of unhappiness and I was finally done. Now I just hope I haven't missed my chance. I'm a little rough around the edges. Don't do well with authority figures. Family is everything, and my friends are my family. I'm a christian but I'm not soft. I don't believe in religion. A lot of what makes me who I am are conflicting ideas that I believe in simultaneously. I love being outside and at the same time I love to hide in the bedroom, shut off the world and cuddle for a day. I love to help those in need but don't play into helplessness. I have a big heart but can be cold as ice if burned. I'm not really sure what people say on here. I'm definitely not the guy mom and dad would have you choose on looks alone. I know how to take care of a woman all around. I understand a mans role in a relationship better than most and the work that it takes to make one work. Well I think thats enough for now if you have read this far you either are looking for more grammar errors to tell me about or you should just email me so we can hang out.