I am fixed on 'happiness' as a lasting result. This has brought a great many heartbreaks within the dating process. I am not suprised because my list of expectations don't change. Dating doesn't change only the faces change. LOL. So, "WE" in the dating pool of people are at the mercy of a system. "WE" are pushed and pulled like ants alone a path that tells us what we need or who we need or even what we should, could, or would be doing instead of living in the moment. "WE", while dating realized, there are lots of nice people even if we remain single. "WE" practice being Mmm...otivated, OUTgoing, "Interr"dependent. Yet here we are again dating on a website w/o a promise to find that happiness or "LOVE" as some might dare to say. An ideal relationship is that which someone shows a weakness that might be the other's stregnth making life a little easier. A relationship in that you learn something and possibly end bad habits. How you share time with someone who has compatable ideals making the fantasy of hearing "I love you" from someone who means it is a truth (this yet to be realized.) And so for lack having yet found you "Mr. rolling-over-early-in-the-morning to kiss me on the cheek" as soft sun lights my shoulder and is complimented with an awesome "I love you" and "see you later tonight" fleeting from your lips here are some...
things you do with greatness and modesty, your gentleman behavior, the time you take to get to know me w/o judgment, your "legs" (lean, cut, balanced, and strong), trailblazing your life, survival Skillz, you read the word NO with respect - need i only say it once, you thrive on monogamy , me seeing fathering potential does not scare you,
a "tight butt", you have one. :)
a really tight butt (still smiling)
you "sweat" (hard word and honesty makes this happen)
your smile appears because you have no expectations of me,
your sense of humor is greatly appreciated
You like me as a nerd because I get off on smarts,
Basically I should already be a MOM according to society which means you will be forever making this up to me showing great respect and chivalry, "you're late!"
Lying is a turn off. Lying to yourself, lying to others even in jest its like a slap in the face. (This happens too much & I catch liars in the act all the time.)
You know that multitasking is an excuse to not do one thing at a time well.
Few men, VERY few men survive cuddling and so I often consider giving it up as a favorite pasttime though i love resting to the sound of a steady heart.
*see also journal 4/2/2012
laughing in public & smiling back at kids who walk by becomes me. If narcissism is keeping drawings of myself in my apartment from art students who would sooner discard their homework. If genius is in the theory of relativity then we are already friends. I dance daily. Meditating matters to me. I don't own a car, a house, a television, or an iPod. The Bianchi glowing in the dark makes me smile everytime. Perhaps, so do you. SEE One or two battle scars decorate this body. I respect a man who can hear me out, stand his ground, and still think I'm a beautiful person (inside and out.) MY HEART LIVEs IN INDIA where the lessons of integrity are golden, cleanliness, a balance of quiet and sound existed easily, humble offerings happened abundantly, safe adventures became common, beautiful moments gave way to more beautiful moments, kind people guided, and seeing potential in compassion lived.
GRADUATING College IS a BIG DEAL, ... a 'REALLY BIG' DEAL, ... a REALLY BIG FUCKING DEAL, so much so that celebrating often sounds like something you can do, "celebrate with me."
GETTING MY DRIVER'S LICENSE 11/30/12 IS A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT especially considering I thought i was going to die 8 months ago. This is a long way away from the ER.
I am realizing more and more that I enjoy being alone because biking, walking, reading, eating, grabbing a beer, exploring meditation etc. though sometimes lonely "is a path" and sometimes that loneliness disappears into a space of content that i wish for even you the reader. I am hopeful that in enjoying alone time that I am making space for you. I am also hoping that you can do things without me so that your cup is full when we spend time together.
Once having had my future told to me when I was 9 & a variety of vivid dreams since (understand clairvoyance) not much suprises me. One thing might suprise me though, your consistent compassion. Most men if not every person I've met has the capacity to be like the Buddah. If you are "He", who makes himself available to sit with me nightly in meditation might make me the luckiest woman alive. Walking calmly into my life with your smiling eyes with good intentions has everything to do with how I want to affect the world on a small and grande scale. In being the Buddah's student I am looking for someone like minded so, "who are you?" (smiling)
in conclusion this list exists
(...because i think, because I am human, because i need a hero, because i think the president is unhappy but trying, because if someone loved me they would be here right now giving me a hug, because i have nothing, because not enough love on the planet exists to even prevent a papercut, because as americans we have grown lazy, because habit says men and women can't be friends, because maybe this is an alien gameboard, because i believe in "soulmates", because i forgot how to, and because i dreamed i can have anything i want, because sometimes i just want to yell at you so you really understand how much pain I went through to get from point A to point B)
Note: A friend insisted I go online. He's did a rough daft ans some of the typing. And the photos are current as of November 2012. I wanted him to type "I'm indebted to his patience"; but instead, he's typing "She is New Haven's best-kept secret." Ask him for an endorsement--perhaps4romance on this site*
*we once defined dating and that has been journaled here too.