So, how does one stand out from the crowd?
While I would love to read this, I don't think it would be very effective:
"Hey, thanks for checking me out! First off, I'm not very bright. I'm very superficial and don't have much to talk about. My sense of humor consists of having memorized some Adam Sandler movie lines. I have no intellectual curiosity and I'm not a very strong reader. I'm actually kind of a douche. My head is so far up my ass that my body is a hat. Oh, I'm also a huge racist and my favorite country is Baltimore. So hit me up, girl!"
Also, way too many pictures of peoples pets. I mean, I like pets, but seeing a picture of your sleeping dog doesn't really tell me much about you.
A quick interlude for some fast facts and random thoughts:
I'm working my ass off on this profile, so when women check it out and no one responds, I'm going to start thinking my pictures are awful. They are from my June trip to Brazil so they are accurate. I'm reasonably attractive and I'm fantastic in person which is what is going to matter in the long run anyway.
I'm working on a project that takes me to Turkey (the country, not the sandwich) with some regularity and I can't wait to start to explore that part of the world. I mostly mentioned this so I could do the sandwich joke above.
I think that Robert DeNiro's performance in Raging Bull is one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.
I don't ever want to stop learning, reading, growing.
I'm both an excellent public speaker and weirdly good at foosball. I have no idea how to combine these two talents.
My personality tab on OKC says that I am way off the charts on "More Arrogant". I think this would bother me if I wasn't so fucking awesome. (A lot of these are jokes, people).
Random words I think are funny:
Hucklebuck. Dongle. Fissure. Winch. Lupus. Penal System.
Names that are fun to shout in public as though you are looking for someone who doesn't actually exist:
Fabian, Andre, Coco, Larry.
Stuff I love:
Making people laugh.
Reading books about travel, history or interesting people.
Learning. Experience. Trying something new.
Stuff I want to do:
Buy a beach house in Central America. Own a flat in London. Split my time between Chicago and those two places and then use them as jumping off points to go everywhere.
Drink rum, take long rambling walks, afternoon naps, read the paper, and work about 20 hours a week doing something I love (investing in startups, mentoring startups, growing companies).
Become reasonably adept at speaking a foreign language.
Pet peeve: Loud, drunk people who yell stupid things at sporting events. You know, the guy who is sitting thousands of feet from the field but still yells at the players. Pardon me sir, can I get you a cup of shut the fuck up?
Oh, add the word "peeve" to the list of words I think are funny.
If you got down this far, well, thanks for reading.
If you found this amusing, different, interesting, annoying, trite, dopey, funny then send me a note. This online stuff blows bad enough without people missing opportunities to connect.