Note: I shamelessly copied this summary from my old ' the Onion Personals' ad.

The celebrity I resemble most;
Somewhere between Edward Norton and Sean Penn or perhaps Kevin Costner's younger brother. My birth certificate says I'm 46 but I think there was some sorta mix-up. I feel (and am told I look) 10 years younger.

My personal motto;
Dyslexics of the world... UNTIE!!!

Body art;
Yes.

Favorite item of clothing;
My autographed, limited edition Hugh Hefner banana hammock.
Just kidding... Actually, it's a 25 year old t-shirt.

Some strange but true facts about me;
I was born in Spain.
I have a patent. (for something important, not a plastic doo-dad)
I used to bartend in England.
I was at the first Burning Man at Baker Beach.
I've spent a great deal of time (over a year) underwater.

I recently moved to Mesa from San Francisco where I was working as a deckhand on ferry and tug boats. Currently, my buddy Charlie and I are co-owners of a rapidly expanding business here in Mesa.

Crosswords...
and knots.

My curly red hair and green eyes or my amazing round ass.

No wait, that's you.

Honestly... I have no idea. You'd have to tell me.

By the way, you don't have to be a green eyed red-head. I like women of all shapes/colors/styles. Red, blond, brown, black, purple, bald... it's all good.

I like nerdy DIY punk chix with glasses and tattoos. I like nature girls with long, flowing hair down to there. I even like normal girls :^)

As long as you're attractive in one way or another, even if (or especially if) it's an intangible quality. Traits I find particularly beguiling include intelligence, a sense of humor and an inexplicable desire to beat Karl Rove with a sock full of quarters.

a. My crossword dictionary. Vonnegut, Asimov, Heinlein, Kerouac, Steinbeck, biographies, history, cold-war espionage thrillers.
b. I have about 1,000 movies in my collection.*
c. the Daily Show/Colbert Report is required daily viewing. I have 260 gigs of BBC programs plus every episode of Northern Exposure, The Sopranos, Deadwood, Rome, Boardwalk Empire, Carnivale, the X-Files, Twin Peaks, Monty Python, the Venture Bros., Dr. Katz, Family Guy, Futurama, the Simpsons and tons of other stuff.
c+. A few websites I frequent; Red State Update, Radio Clambake, the Onion, Cracked, StumbleUpon.
d. Click here to listen to my iTunes*†
e. I love to cook. Some of my favorite recipes include Gazpacho, Italian Sushi (Steamed Baby Asparagus w/herbs & cheese wrapped in Prosciutto & cut into 'Frisco rolls'), Shepherd's Pie (w/lamb) and Coffee Chocolate Chip Cookies.
e+. I'm partial to a cocktail (Manhattan or Sidecar) before dinner, a nice red wine with dinner and/or a Belgian Beer with dessert.

*= Too many to list, see my journal.
†= If you tried to tune in and it didn't work, please let me know.

Sex, Music, Food, Water, Music and Sex.

Bringing my patent to market.
Growing my business.
Why women rarely make the first move.
(Go ahead, don't be shy ;^)

Working. (I'm working 7 days a week for the time being)

I <3 Shibari.

... you want to meet a genuine, funny (but not goofy), intelligent (but not snooty), blue collar multi-thousandaire.