For the love of god all your faces are hideous

STOP PUTTING THEM ON THE INTERNET

scene: tonight's juerga

offender: my cante teacher

offense: blatant homophobia, hate speech, "maricones" this and "jotos" that

what i should have done: pointed out that he's a morbidly obese chicano who a) makes his living singing and teaching the music of spanish gypsies and b) claims to worship a god whose earthly manifestation was nailed to a tree for proclaiming the brotherhood of all humans, all of which renders his viewpoint hypocritical as well as disgustingly offensive

what i did: seethed

alas.

there used to be this site called notproud dot com, an online confessional where people could anonymously post their various sins. the site's archive still exists, conveniently grouped as always into seven deadly categories, but new posts can no longer be added. there was some creepy shit on there.

i can't sleep when i'm hungry, and the only thing i've eaten in the past 30 or so hours is a ham and cheese sandwich. the cupboard is bare. to pass the time until a suitable breakfast venue opens, i'm writing here.

because it's not just the gnawing of an empty tummy that's got me scraping along in the waxing grey, but the exhilaration that comes with a dawning awareness of real romantic feeling. in this case, unfortunately, it's also combined with the tragic, obsessive mopery entailed by romantic feelings that are largely hopeless and generally held to be immoral to boot.

being in love is very uplifting. the natural tendency is to exult in it, share the joy, and make all your friends sick of your one-note song. when the object of affection is married to someone else, though, that tendency becomes a bit troublesome. at least my friendships won't be strained. probably a good thing, considering their overall fragility and paucity of depth.

et voila -- breakfast is now being served.