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26 Chicago, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–30
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 11:24am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Graduated from university
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, French (Okay), Arabic (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi there, my name is Joseph.

I'm just some guy.

“When she says margarita she means daiquiri.
When she says quixotic she means mercurial.
And when she says, "I'll never speak to you again," she means, "Put your arms around me from behind as I stand disconsolate at the window."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Shaking and stirring.

Seeking to share thoughts and experiences with the likes of you.

I am trying to think less and feel more.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
scheming, dividing (not multiplying), swearing, casing joints, mixing cocktails, promptly drinking them, and kicking over sandcastles

I have been told that I can do an amazing impression of an olde tyme huckster.

Gin. As of 1/24/2015, I am on a strict diet of blanc vermouth and navy strength gin.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Default expression of bamboozlement

When I'm smoking my pipe while skateboarding to work, I'm honestly not sure what people notice first.

Movie quotes comprise roughly half of my vocalized thoughts.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.


Dr. Strangelove



Gum. I eat gum
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
(Un)intelligent conversation
Mind altering substances
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The determinism of morality. Emerging entry points in the changing international economy. Keynesian theory. Sin. The origins of the universe. The distinction between terrorism and insurgency. Biohacking. Why do I feel this way? Nanotechnology and AI. Very classy ways to say terrible things. The wrong of my ways. The nature of consciousness. Whether or not I am desirable to those I desire. Defining characteristics of various violent substate stratifications. Virtue. How can I be better?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Shaking and stirring

"Where must we go, we who wander the wasteland, in search of our better selves."
-The First History Man
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You might not know it to look at me, but I can run really, really fast...

Would you like to know more?

I accidentally hung out with the Jamaican mafia in Geneva, Switzerland and became best friends with them. One night they took me to an all-black nightclub and encouraged me to smoke something. I awoke in their apartment and they were playing FIFA '98 on a PS1. if you're in Geneva and need weed, I'm your guy.

Quoi de neuf, balla?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You won't. It's okay. Regardless, I think you're beautiful.

Good hunting, lass.