Welcome to the digital lobby of my "inner sanctum" . . . .
Allow myself to introduce . . . .myself (clears throat, straightens imaginary tie):
I believe that Spongebob Squarepants is one of the best manifestations of zen enlightenment on television. Peter Griffin and Jeff Lebowski are up there.
I'm not looking for someone who has everything in common with me - how flat would that be? It's the differences that I gravitate to. Andrew Zimmern - coolest guy on TV . . . .
Normal . . . .do you crave normal? What is normal? We all have quirks and issues. I'll ask you - how tightly do you wear your mask? Can you take it off? We all have fears. Are you informed by yours, or do they drive you around? Do you long to be a Stepford wife? Oh, yeah - compliant perfection is just sooo hot. . . . I'd have to mess your hair up or hide your glue-gun. You can keep the heels though!
I'm much funnier-looking than the guy in the pictures. I generally smell good and I am in near-complete control of my compulsion to pick my nose in public.
I love a playful smartass mentality - a sharp wit coupled with a gentle tongue. Someone who can receive happiness as well as create it. Beyond the attraction factor, when two people look at each other and think "I could hang out with them pretty much whenever," then 'bam'. Some people need to be needed but along with mutual wanting and appreciating - that's really the trifecta, isn't it?
My favorite place is the kitchen. I love to cook. Recipes aren't rules, more like 'guidlines,' arrrr! (best pirate accent). I'll just get what the basic measurements need to be and wing it - whatever it is. I love to go out, but sharing wine and just creating some hysterical or connected time is mo'better. If you're looking for an imperfect soul with whom you can be completely yourself, say hi. Wouldn't it be nice to just meet someone you're really attracted to that gets you, and encourages the intention of bucketloads of good juju on a regular basis? Me too. Really, some good conversation would be a start. My brain needs a playmate ( I was going to say that it's tired of playing with itself, but that . . . .just doesn't sound right).
Let's debate. I will destroy you in Scrabble or trivia challenges. I am a purveyor of interesting and useless information. Bring your A game. Although a deep intellect is quite sexy, it's really your approach angle to everything life has to offer that I'm interested in - especially if you can embrace my dorky soul. You need fertilizer to grow flowers in this world - it's all about which of those you choose to focus the majority of your attention. Let the Joneses race - they're just trying in vain to deal with that previous sentence.
I'm not the type that will need to control your actions or your life. Let's try the radical notion that if you start off really being yourself, with someone that you encourage the same thing in, that maybe the relationship has a better shot at being appreciated no matter what its course. If I date you for any appreciable length of time I will find out where you are ticklish and use it against you. I will meet people with cheerful and cordially compassionate charm, whilst whispering dirty jokes in your ear. I'll listen to 80's alt-punk, grunge, classical and techno in one car ride. Can you do Viktor Frankl and Monty Python in the same conversation? You rock!
Bring me a topic. Any topic. I double-dog dare you. :
I'm a full-time single father of four, two of whom are still at home (18 and 20 this year). I like pina coladas, but getting caught in the rain just makes me . . . . .wet.