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27 Washington, DC Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18-50
  • Near me

My details

Last online
Jun 28
5' 4" (1.63m)
Body Type
A little extra
Catholicism but it’s not important
Post grad
Might want kids
Has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
(mostly) unemployed indiana-born law school graduate living a life of wickedness on the fringes of the district.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
trying to find a job. trying to write a shitty novel about my earlier attempts to write a really shitty novel. reading and loving
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
30 pounds ago, i was really good at soccer. ask my college coach! sure, it was dIII, but whatever. i'm now good at destroying bags of chee-tos and generally being a lazy bitch. according to my former employers at kaplan, i was also really good at the lsat.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
that i am the greatest person who ever lived. 'hello, whoa, i never thought i'd meet such a person, but...' ok, thanks. i'm used to it. the line forms to the right.

seriously, what most people notice about me is that i'm not that tall, that i have awesome hair, and that i'm shaped like a (cute) beer barrel.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
anything "literary" about sports (recently: the art of fielding). any movie by orson welles (especially chimes at midnight; he's so fuckin' good in there!). musical theater (or 'legitimate theater,' as homer called it after a particularly stirring performance of the planet of the apes musical). and c'mon, look at me: i will eat anything that moves!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
major league baseball, the world cup, college football, my parents (oops, jk), pro football, hockey (again, jk! silly me), other lawyers (shit, jk--i'm such a kidder!), duane "the rock" johnson movies, jean shorts.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
a) if i'm so smart, why am i still poor?
b) would i be willing to do ______ for $_______?
c) hmm, let's see if anyone on craigslist is looking for someone who will pay me $_______ to do_______.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
trying to figure out some great lies to tell my friends about what i did on friday night. also crying. lots and lots of crying.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
ed 'al bundy' o'neill is a sexy beast. did you know that he was a real-life college football stud? yes, yes he was.

also, i really like african-american ladies. all are urged to apply, but here's what i'm envisioning:
(ed's note: NSFW!!!)
(ed's note: i realize this isn't fetlife, but i'm busy-ish and extremely interested in finding ms (or mr, it's all good in the neighborhood) right now).
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're interested in hanging out. i'm new to the area--hence the need for this stupid thing--and i'd like to make some cool friends. or if you're interested in trying to beat me at madden 2007-25 or nhl 2000-14. you won't, but it's nice to dream.