(mostly) unemployed indiana-born law school graduate living a life
of wickedness on the fringes of the district.
What I’m doing with my life
trying to find a job. trying to write a shitty novel about my
earlier attempts to write a really shitty novel. reading and loving
I’m really good at
30 pounds ago, i was really good at soccer. ask my college coach!
sure, it was dIII, but whatever. i'm now good at destroying bags of
chee-tos and generally being a lazy bitch. according to my former
employers at kaplan, i was also really good at the lsat.
The first things people usually notice about me
that i am the greatest person who ever lived. 'hello, whoa, i never
thought i'd meet such a person, but...' ok, thanks. i'm used to it.
the line forms to the right.
seriously, what most people notice about me is that i'm not that
tall, that i have awesome hair, and that i'm shaped like a (cute)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
anything "literary" about sports (recently: the art of fielding).
any movie by orson welles (especially chimes at midnight; he's so
fuckin' good in there!). musical theater (or 'legitimate theater,'
as homer called it after a particularly stirring performance of the
planet of the apes musical). and c'mon, look at me: i will eat
anything that moves!
The six things I could never do without
major league baseball, the world cup, college football, my parents
(oops, jk), pro football, hockey (again, jk! silly me), other
lawyers (shit, jk--i'm such a kidder!), duane "the rock" johnson
movies, jean shorts.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
a) if i'm so smart, why am i still poor?
b) would i be willing to do ______ for $_______?
c) hmm, let's see if anyone on craigslist is looking for someone
who will pay me $_______ to do_______.
On a typical Friday night I am
trying to figure out some great lies to tell my friends about what
i did on friday night. also crying. lots and lots of crying.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
ed 'al bundy' o'neill is a sexy beast. did you know that he was a
real-life college football stud? yes, yes he was.
also, i really like african-american ladies. all are urged to
apply, but here's what i'm envisioning:
(ed's note: NSFW!!!)
(ed's note: i realize this isn't fetlife, but i'm busy-ish and
extremely interested in finding ms (or mr, it's all good in the
neighborhood) right now).
You should message me if
you're interested in hanging out. i'm new to the area--hence the
need for this stupid thing--and i'd like to make some cool friends.
or if you're interested in trying to beat me at madden 2007-25 or
nhl 2000-14. you won't, but it's nice to dream.