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28 Crystal Lake, IL Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–100
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:00pm
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Catholicism, but not too serious about it
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Two-year college
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
That doesn't work, if that worked, people would be handing out flyers of their self summary at every bar you went to. We should almost be thankful it doesn't. Besides, you've probably already formed an opinion of me based on how annoying I look in my pictures, or if I have terrible taste in music/movies. Which, while we're on the topic, I know my pictures are bad. But at least I look like them. Do you guys hire a photographer to follow you around taking flattering glamor shots, or? I will probably not live up to some expectation you have, but I really do look exactly like, and talk like, how I'm portraying myself.

I'm 511', weigh 150-160, what you see is what you get, INFP(but I don't believe in those things), not shallow, believe in love, but would never admit it in front of other guys, like girls of all races(Pam Beasely/Donna Pinciotti are my personality wise dream girl), no one under 21 because I feel like a creep but otherwise all ages, complete dork in high school, still complete dork. Read my questions, although I erased everything I had including my much longer profile because I was being plagiarized, yup, word for word people stole my actual personality after viewing me, that's how genuine, and honorable the people on this site are. Worst part is I'm sure it worked a whole lot better for them too. Or message me and ask. I'm not hard to talk to. Just, if we do talk, can it not be a one sided boring conversation I've had 1,000 times? O, also, I'm somewhat good at guitar, and a few other instruments, and I really like writing songs, but hate being in the spotlight, so if you like singing, or playing, it's a plus.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Guitar, boxing, getting age carded and keeping my dignity during. Masking every feeling with comedy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Huge horror movie fan, not just saying that because I like Walking Dead, like I've noticed most horror fans these days do. Although I do. I've always loved them, I could talk about movies that scared me the most, or are overrated(Friday the 13th), literally all day. Disney, Ip Man, Dumb and Dumber, really anything except for romances, but I don't think I'm their target audience. The Office, M*A*S*H, Sons of Anarchy, American Horror Story, Archer, King of the Hill, Raising Hope seasons 1-2.

Everything, for everything else. But to name a few in the hopes it helps someone notice me, because I've given up messaging first. Bob Dylan Blood On the Tracks is my favorite album of all time. Misfits. Amy Whinehouse.

Giordano's pizza, Chipotle, Portillo's. I also know the greatest Mexican restaurant in the world, but I'm not sharing it with Okcupid.

I'm hesitant to say this because girls who read are usually more fun to talk to and I have more in common with, but I don't often read fiction novels. Except Stephen King. I mostly read articles, or short stories.

Mortal Kombat, Splinter Cell, Fallout.

I sincerely hate the following things, Being called 'slick', sun tan lotion(which explains why in all vacation pictures I'm an almost medically scary shade of red), salad dressing, black liquorice(I love red). When your profile says you're funny, and enjoy witty conversation, yet you say nothing funny in it, or in life in general. Profile names that end in "osaurus", or use the word eclectic in every sentence. Hearing people treat 'tats and beards' as a replacement for having a personality. Its not a personality, its just a look, that at one time might have meant you may have a personality, but has become indicative of the opposite, you became insecure about that, so covered it up with fashion, and called it art. I actually preferred the emo trend to beards and tattoos.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Question number two.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Here, I have no social life anymore. I would like to make all my friends in a relationship, or having kids, jealous by finding someone perfect for me. And as a bonus there's the whole, finding love thing.

If I had a choice, I'd like to be at the drive in theater, or a flea market(nighttime flea markets do exist, and are only half as scary as they sound), bonfire, playing cards or a board game, watching a good movie.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Here's a poem I wrote about the girls of online dating. Particularly this site.

I can't be bothered to write a profile. I do not respond to short messages.

Everyone on this site is a creeper, except me, even though I don't look like my pictures, none of my information is true, and my picture looks like it was taken by someone who judging by my eyes I'm about to murder.

I want a man, not a boy. I have several boys of my own already, ages 3, 2, 1, and 1.

Guys, I don't need to see your douchey selfie without your shirt on. Look at this picture of me in my bathroom wearing a bikini I took with my cell phone, do I look like I would be caught associating with such a loser?

My dog survived the photo shoot, so stop asking. He does now run away when ever he sees me with a camera and a low cut shirt though.

Eclectic, eclectic, ecletic, too many to name even one.

I'm hilarious, and tons of fun at all times. Here's a bunch of other characteristics about my upbeat, never serious personality, said in a very solemn tone. I'm also very creative, look at this paragraph I plagiarized. I'm often described by myself as quirky.

My hobbies include both work, and working out.

My favorite poetry is my own, which I write by stringing randomness, and pretentiousness together. Usually in a way that would suggest I'm underappreciated, but the fact that I write it should make it obvious I'm not. I'll quote my last book which I paid to have published; golden hair, she's so unique, she stands out, Hello Kitty. Hello. You're exclusively esthetic eye-wear, so unique, but so esthetically approachable, I'm not. I'm loved by nerds and gods alike!. Me. Me, me. Me, me, I, but I'm still a dork.

Grammar is a MUST!!!! I have nothing else going for me outside of my two sentence profile being spelled mostly correctly, I had ample time to proofread due to its size, and you’ll notice immediately that I have nothing at all to say no matter how interesting my surroundings are, so I obsess over the spelling of things to feel like I belong. You’re not better than me because you add things to the world, you’re worse, because your finger struck a letter next to the one intended while making a thoughtful argument! Idiot, learn to write, like I could, if I had things to say!

I do stand up, and I’m great at comedy. By which I mean I repeat jokes I heard in my own way, which has a very slight variation in wording, which is the exact same thing as being creative myself. Just like my Mona Lisa tracing is of equal importance as the actual Mona Lisa, if you can copy it, you deserve the credit. Get over yourself, you’re no better than me just because you try harder and are talented at a specific thing, I deserve just as much recognition for stealing that thing while being me.

Feminism. The hot-button embarrass my peers with unreasonable aggressiveness kind, not that socially aware garbage. If you're not down with feeling bad when I decide you should, and I can't feel like a victim at will, don't even bother.

I’m NOT a whore, I’m NOT looking to hook up. I will however put out day one.

Follow me on Twitter.

You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to, I'm looking for someone to spend my life with, someone who can inspire me to try. Or you just want to talk, I wouldn't mind making some new friends, and if I'm on here it means I'm very bored.