I genuinely don’t know how to describe myself. So here are bunch of random facts about me.

I was always first to die in Oregon Trail. Every time.

I think To Catch A Predator could easily be on Comedy Central if they added a laugh track.

I know how to spell pseudonym, and how to spell name. it's a Johnny Cash song and I was worried people might not get it so I made it "Sue", and I ran out of characters for 'name'. So, no need for the corrections. Unless that's your way of breaking the ice, in which case, by all means make me feel small.

I’ve never been pulled over, but I speed constantly. So I’m either that good, or that unnoticeable.

I call a remote control for a tv a clicker.

I was once forced to hold a door for what seemed like 15 minutes because I tried being polite to ONE person in heavy foot traffic.

I think I would be amazing at a Ninja Warrior course. Just saying. I think it's the most boring thing possible to watch on tv, but I'd love to do it.

I hate Fox news. And liars in general. Whiny college Democrats with a pack mentally also annoy me.

I have great ideas for pumpkin carving.

All my great ideas for pumpkin carving ended up turning into the stereotypical alien face once I realized how difficult they’d be to carve.

I have a dog named Jane.

I look like my pictures, I'm nowhere near skilled enough to make myself look better, or feel the need to hide anything, not a fan of that at all.

I own at ping pong. I have a scar from air hockey. I think I would be good at it, if the person I'm playings goal wasn't so smack it so hard it bounces up into my face every time.

I never understood why Smokey the bear doesn’t have to wear a shirt, but does have to wear jeans. And why jeans? Why not those green pants park rangers wear?

I still hide the cds I keep in my car under something when I leave, even though they’ve been made valueless by Kazaa long ago.

I realize no one knows what Kazaa is anymore.

My solution to all computer problems is system restore.

I lay awake all night, until one hour before I know I have to wake up, and then suddenly I’m sleepy.

It frustrates and annoys me that alarm clocks make such awful sounds to wake you up. All I’m saying is why start off on full blast? Why not start off quiet, and slowly raise the volume. Why shock us out of sleep? And why a horrifying buzzing sound?

I can’t decide whether I find monkeys really cute, or really creepy.

I love rain. Rain cheers me up more than anything.

I think Pierce Brosnan is the best Bond. New guys the worst. Bond is supposed to spend all his time seducing beautiful women, saving the world, and making puns... Not working out and being angsty. To be fair I saw Quantum of Solace after writing this, and it was pretty good, but I mean, Goldeneye....

I've only had coffee once. Which is extra weird because I worked at a 711. I liked it and everything. I just, I don't know, never really am in the mood for it. And most coffee places sell hot cocoa too, so why would I want coffee?

I freeze everything with chocolate.

I don't really like watching sports, and everyone hates that. But I can enjoy them if I feel like it matters. Like the superbowl. Only fields I've ever been to are Wrigley and Comiskey park, and with the way sports are these days I doubt they're even called that anymore. I do occasionally enjoy boxing, and the lightweight UFC fights. I find basketball really boring though. I don't think I've cared at all about what happens in basketball since Space Jam. I do love playing all sports however. Especially soccer, wrestling, boxing, basketball, and football. Also, volleyball is really fun.

I hate black liquorice, I love red liquorice as much as I hate it's counterpart, which is A LOT.

I failed Home-ec in seventh grade.

I am legendary at go karts. Also, possibly still banned from them at Mount Olympus in WI Dells.

I only find tv interesting when I have somewhere I should be.

I love Disney Land. And the old animated movies, pretty much up to Hercules, even now I could still watch. Especially Jungle Book.

I thought The Hangover 2 sucked. Really bad. I know I'm alone on this.

I've never beaten a Zelda game. But clocked a whole lot of time playing.

I’m looking for basically a best friend type to date. And eventually lie to people about where we met. where we met.

Trying to find someone who makes doing absolutely nothing with, feel like everything, and then doing everything together.

If I listed stuff it would come off arrogant, and if I don't list anything I sound useless. I'm good at pointing out catch 22's. Maybe some other stuff.

'I bet that guy regrets not grabbing a cart'.

This doesn't matter to me, only two things I don't really like are romances, and dance music. I know, sorry.

My dog.
One of my guitars, or banjo.
Here's where I'd list MP3 player, but it got stolen, so I guess I can do without it.
My Wilson volley ball.

I don't like The Walking Dead, or The Clash.

You're genuine. You might actually want to meet in person at some point. Also if you just want to start a band, or need a song writer/ guitar player/ banjo player/ drummer. I would respond to everyone if I didn't think it would be a waste of your time because we'd end up being just friends, and it's rarely because of looks when I don't, I'm not shallow, usually it's because of the questions. If you haven't noticed by now it's pretty likely we're either total "enemies", or you're very religious and wouldn't accept me not being. That's the real reason I'm here, I do okay in real life, I just have a hard time finding people like me inside of bars, and am too shy to meet anyone outside of them.

If you have red, or curly hair, I'm almost guaranteed to respond. If the word 'eclectic", 'I need a real man' appears in your profile I'm almost guaranteed not to.