"Darry, you never had a worm, you have a dog named Barry."
"But, Daddy I want a worm!"
"Okay, you can have one, I'll dump some water on the ground and give you a spoon to dig with."
"So I can have a worm?"
"Yes, Darry you can have a worm."
"Can I name him Fido?"
"You can name him whatever you want Darry."
"Can I bring him to school with me?"
"Worms don't go to school."
"The reading worm does."
"He's a cartoon Darry."
"No...he's real Daddy."
"Okay, he's real."
"Can I bring Fido to school tomorrow?"
"You don't have a worm yet, and how do you know Fido won't be a she?"
"Fido's are boys Daddy."
"But, what if your worm is a she?"
"No, I'll name it Fido so it will be a he and I'm going to teach it Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."
"Good luck with that Darry. Why do you want to teach the worm 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'?"
"So that he will become famous, and make lots of money and then..then...we can take the money and give it to kids who don't have food or a school...or mommies or daddies..."
"I'll help you dig up Fido...and we'll teach him 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'," I assured Darry as we pulled into our driveway with me thinking a Youtube made when Fido just happened to start singing after Darry's bedtime should work fine.