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30 Vacaville, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 27–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 5:50pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Not at all
Graduated from university
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has cats
English (Fluently), German (Poorly), C++ (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Self promotion is lame and self-importance should be punishable by death. I don't know what you're hoping to read here, except maybe some false bravado fed hogwash along the lines of - "I am a ruggedly handsome gentleman, scholar, philosopher king with a great many passions. I am the extraordinarily durable lover you've been hoping and dreaming of." Gag. I won't profess to be anything of the sort. I'm just some fucking guy with a free account on an online dating site. Because apparently that's the only recourse for a social inept human feigning interested in adulthood. I happen to be a native Californian (because apparently that's a thing?). I'd rather not discuss politics regardless of how well they go with beer, because I have a bit of bad news- I don't like beer. I guess that makes me a pussy or a child in some circles, but in reality it's the reason I am perpetuating my social ineptitude by unsuccessfully dating online.

A lot of people seem to talk about college, so yeah. Check that off your list, I went to UC Davis and got my receipt of debt called a diploma, a bachelors of science as a matter of fact in the pseudoscience commonly known as Psychology. Since graduating, my life has devolved to something akin to NOFX's "Linoleum", so a lot of good that's done. A special message to all the single mom's of OKCupid - don't let your babies grow up to major in the arcane liberal arts.

I'm fairly indifferent or apathetic to most things others seemingly devote their entire lives to, so take this as a spoiler alert - I don't care your sportsball team. your alma mater, your religion, your dietary discretions, what you own or who you wear, where you've been, or what you've done unless you have set some sort of recognized world record in which case tell me the secrets that you know. Not looking for sex or marriage, not sure why I am even here since very few people are interested in friendships. "Tell you what- I’ll call you on your shit, please call me on mine. Then we can grow together and make this shit-hole planet better in time."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
"I'm scraping all I can from the bottom of a jar" making tens of dollars as a caregiver. Trying to be cognizant of all I have seen in this brief flirtation with caregiving and being grateful for what I have in the least "#blessed" way possible. Just being mindful of the "shoulders of giants" on which we tread and trying to follow the basic tenet set forth from Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: "know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you.”

Caregiving, attending a community college to satisfy pre-requisites and working a series of other odd part-time jobs for wages that are frankly insulting.

Recreational Activities:
a) Active - Convincing myself I'm straddling the gray area between triathlon and powerlifting.
b) Passive - listening to music or podcasts, being unproductive in front of a computer screen, reading (for pleasure more than school).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Squinting, cracking myself up, giving unsolicited advice, making outdated references, thousand yard stares, and over sharing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books - "Politics and the English Language" (Orwell). Non-fiction involving food, food issues, diet, exercise, training principles/methodologies/philosophies. Mary Roach is pretty cool, I enjoyed the required readings of Twain upon revisiting, some of Toni Morrison and would like to read more. Used to really be into Sherman Alexie, but lately it's been less and less.

Movies -
Documentaries: Anvil! The Story of Anvil, Bigger, Stronger, Faster*, Jesus Camp, The King of Kong.
Absurd comedies: most of the Judd Apatow, Mike Judge, and Adam McKay kinda non-sense. Hamlet 2, Kentucky Fried Movie, This is Spinal Tap, UHF.
Compulsory: Goodfellas, Léon (The Professional), Magnolia, The Royal Tenenbaums, Saving Private Ryan, and most Disney/Pixar animation.

Podcasts - Classic LoveLine, Daves of Thunder, and Low Budget FM, Iron Radio, Roderick on the Line, 40 Year Old Boy, Podkward, and the Adam Carolla Show depending on the guest.

Television - "All the great shows!"
I am perfectly contented watching syndicated episodes of "The Simpsons" and "Top Gear" ad nauseam.

Music - I like music you probably wouldn't like and not in the pretentious "hipster" fashion where I liked them better before they were signed because "talent is exclusive to bands without pay". No, I am stuck in a rut listening to music with heavy riffing and face melting guitar solos. Because I sold my soul for rock and roll and "the power of the riff compels me". I have yet to commit infanticide or burn any churches in the name of the dark lourd O, unto he we heap our praises. Hail satan. Having said that, it's not like I'm one dimensional, I like music beyond metal. Primarily alternative rock, some big band, some jazz, some of this, a little of that, maybe even a little guilty pleasure pop if it worms its way into my ear. Have a thing for b-sides, covers and live versions, which is frowned upon for whatever reason. Top ten, in no particular order, would probably be something along the lines of: Bad Religion, The Pixies, Death, Opeth, Nine Inch Nails, Tool, Faith No More, Ben Folds (Five), and whoever else I am digging at the time - lately it's been a lot of Lagwagon and Lamb of God. Also recently found some a cappella renditions of Frank Zappa songs, pretty righteous.

Food - I enjoy it greatly.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
• iPhone (podcasts, music, internet) for personal amusement and bewitching the natives.
- Bad Religion
- The Simpsons
- Classic LoveLine (suffice for "Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew" to keep it at six)
• Slow food because feel-good gimmickry tastes good
- Sustenance
• Physical activity to regulate affect
- Bicycling
- Free weights
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
A lot of inane crap people cannot be bothered with.
If you've ever listened to the Joe Rogan Experience or read "shower thoughts" you're more than half-way there.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Singing "Uh-oh" and hoping everything's gonna be all right?

Vacillating through browser tabs, wasting time on here liking or dismissing profiles based on the weighted total of percentages combined with initial attractiveness or perceived similar interests, programming for Saturday morning or reading in preparation of sleep.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You aren't an incredible pain in the ass?
You've invented a bridge impervious to arson.
You agree emojis are dumb, selfies are stupid, and don't require a mad-lib card game to say obnoxious and offensive things.
You enjoy sarcasm, satire, hold nothing sacred and remember to cite your sources.
You want to play OKCupid Bingo with our respective Quickmatches queues.