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bradthecheese

29 M Vacaville, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:30am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Medicine
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Poorly), C++ (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Introverted California-native neanderthalish late bloomer bumbling through life and fumbling adulthood. Naïve psychologist (B.S.) and UC Davis alum (go Ags?). Recreational record store peruser and comic book collector. As well as (over)caffeinated cyclist, novice strength trainee, and podcast consumer (Carolla Tard), headbangin' defender of the metal faith, Fat Wreck/Epitaph pop-punk bopper ("huge fan of Bad Religion"), Amazon Kindle bibliophile, post modern art fag übermensch, self-hating hipster, reticent foodie, sarcastic prick/comedic hack and generally unfunny tweeter, fsjal.jpeg

If I had an inner-child he would likely resemble Russell, the overweight eight year old from Pixar's Up

If I had a spirit animal it would be a manic depressive Incredible Hulk or a Jekyll&Hyde amalgam of Dr. Greg Graffin and Henry Rollins

"If I had a million dollars, I'd be rich" (BNL)

Basically, I'm like a micro brewed brown ale - nutty, complex, heady, unfiltered.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to harden the fuck up whilst "treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry." (This is Spinal Tap)
Spinning my wheels, curls for the girls, shifting gears, reading, domestic duties, engaging in a symbiotic relationship in which I expend physical effort being the mammalian equivalent of an Oxpecker - cleaning, grooming, caring for an individual - and emotionality - oozin' sympathy and wanting to become a tangled mess of fetus-like flexion - giving care to pay the bills.
I’m really good at
Amusing myself, laughing inappropriately, gesticulation, navigating, honesty, schlock, schtick, quackery, listening (to music, podcasts, and people- dare to bend my ear?), naïveté, wearing lycra and eating shit on a bicycle, drumming on a steering wheel, juggling cats, analysis paralysis, procrastinating, being the embodiment of why America is hated internationally.
The first things people usually notice about me
The tangled mess of leather and denim or sound of granola crunching under the weight of my Birkenstocks.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books - Fit (Kilgore/Hartman/Lascek), Food: The Key Concepts (Belasco), Omnivore's Dilemma (Pollan), Stiff (Roach). Sherman Alexie's fiction, the required readings of Twain, anything Dan John, Hermann Hesse's "Steppenwolf" although I couldn't tell you why.

Movies - Anvil! The Story of Anvil, Army of Darkness, Bigger, Stronger, Faster*, Casino, Goodfellas, Hamlet 2, Idiocracy, Jesus Camp, Kentucky Fried Movie, Kick-Ass, The King of Kong, Léon: The Professional, Magnolia, Monsters INC., Office Space, Ratatouille, The Royal Tenenbaums, Saving Private Ryan, Step Brothers, Superbad, This is Spinal Tap, Toy Story (Trilogy), UHF, Up, Wreck-It Ralph

Podcasts - Classic LoveLine, Daves of Thunder, and Low Budget FM, Iron Radio, and the Adam Carolla Show depending on the guest.

Compulsory television programming - Breaking Bad, The Simpsons, Top Gear. Honorable Mentions: Flight of Conchords, Human Giant, King of the Hill, Party Down (!), Peep Show, Seinfeld, South Park, That Mitchell and Webb Look, Weeds, Wonder Showzen.

Music - Alternative rock, pop punk, metal. Bad Religion, Tool, The Pixies, Opeth, Death, Nine Inch Nails, Elliott Smith, Type O Negative, Lagwagon.

Food - "Now, I'm not Jewish, but I love to nosh" (Tom Wilson). If you put it in front of me, I'll more than likely eat it because "I'm inclined to agree with the French, who gaze upon any personal dietary prohibition as bad manners" (Michael Pollan).
The six things I could never do without
• iPhone (podcasts, music, internet) for personal amusement and bewitching the natives.
- Bad Religion
- The Simpsons
- Classic LoveLine (suffice for "Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew" to keep it at six)
• Slow food because feel-good-gimmickry tastes good
- Sustenance
• Physical activity to regulate affect
- Bicycling
- Free weights
On a typical Friday night I am
doing some deep knee bends for sets and reps. (Squattin' unimpressive weight)
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 26–32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You have an affinity for fat, balding, middle aged men using photos of a younger stranger to lure women to his harem.
You fancy, provided you're not searching for breeding stock.
You need a friend in the least Dahmer way possible.
You have a question, comment, concern or perhaps you noticed a typo?

You're a adept at rowing on a Concept II erg and wouldn't mind teaching a total newb.