I am 50% wise man and 50% wise-ass. Also 50% a caring and emotionally sensitive great guy and 50% dirty minded. I'm an extroverted intuitive but am often mistaken for an analytical because I worked with computers, think and write carefully, and majored in Math.

No one has ever called me ordinary or regular. I'm verbal, smart, self-aware, compassionate, often wise, occasionally foolish, playful, intellectual, emotionally available, highly sexual liberal, heterosexual ("straight but not narrow")neither fully mainstream nor conventionally alternative in my cultural tastes.

I'm very interested in eastern and western psychology and philosophy, both humanist and spiritual; my outlook is heavily influenced by Buddhism, which for me is a spot-on analysis of the human condition, but not a religion. Road cycling is my main athletic ability. I'm 5'10, about 190, have good shoulders and muscles. I've now been in Sonoma (the town) for 18 months in a house where with wonderful vineyard views.

I moved to Sonoma from the Oakland hills at the beginning of April '08, five years after a divorce, and knowing almost no one in this county. So a very big part of my life is trying to develop new friends and lovers. My 30-year career in the computer industry ended a few years ago.

I'm now a trained Life and Work Coach on a part time basis. "I help people who are imprisoned by their self-limiting beliefs open doors that were never really locked in the first place". See my professional website at www.actuallypossible.com. I call it that because I help people make changes that are "actually possible."

For the last year I have been seeing a wonderful woman who at first lived several hours away. We meet on OKcupid, with a 86% match. We are both interested in polyamory and supportive of the other having other physically intimate relationships. We are now living together in Sonoma, but may go back to living apart to give each other more space, though we really like seeing each other. Also, we are both involved with HAI.

She stays in SF several nights a week. Our interest in intimacy with others continues. So I am looking for an additional sweet friend that I could also be intimate with, mentally and physically.

Explaining concepts and ideas, explaining how to do things, intuiting what people are about, home improvement, witty repartee, writing short essays, coaching people for success, understanding the big picture, knowing exactly what the candidate I'm supporting in a debate should be saying but isn't, being non-judgemental, sharing love, and being supportive.

I'm reasonably good at dancing to any music with a 4/4 beat, solving computer problems, understanding what women mean, managing teams and being available.

I'm barely adequate at cooking, but can throw a meal together if I need to.

First my smile, which is open and real. (I actually can't fake smile on-cue for photographs.) Second, that I don't look anything nearly decrepit as my age sounds; I actually do look like a fit, trim person. Third, that I tend to speak thoughtfully using my large vocabulary. From this, people often mistakenly assume I'm going to be closed-off and analytical. But they quickly see that's not true, and I'm warm, emotionally available, and intuitive about people.

Some serious non-fiction that has influenced what I think about things: "The Book", Alan Watts. "Buddhism without Belief", Stephen Bachelor. "The Blank Slate", Steven Pinker. "Moral Politics", George Lakoff. "The Wimp Factor", by Stephen Ducat. "Goedel, Esher, Bach", Douglas Hofsteder. "The Cousins War", Kevin Phillips

Fiction: "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", Robert Pirsig. "Changing Places" and "Nice Work", David Lodge. "Lord of Light", Roger Zelazney. "The Sot Weed Factor" and "Giles Goat Boy", John Barth. I used to read lots of SciFi, from the classics up to cyberpunk,but not recentl. Mysteries by Carl Hiaasen and a few others. Also "Crytonomicon" by Neal Stephenson.

Music: Classic rock, blues, alternative country, roots, etc. I dance well to anything with a 4/4 beat. Can't seem to enjoy much music that doesn't have lyrics.

Food: I'm an ominvore

TV: Currently "True Blood" on HBO, The Daily Show, ER (still). Recently Rome, Sopranos, Deadwood on HBO.

Movies:
Casablanca, Blazing Saddles, Aniversary Party, Between Night and Day, Blade, Top Secret, Bedazled, The Labyrinth, Heathers. I also like action movies, especially the ones with good writing.

A warm comfortable quite place to sleep and a good hot-water shower.

Frequent meals with some protein and fat to keep my blood sugar stable.

One or more smart, non-demanding, verbally playful sweeties to hang out with and sleep with. (Actually, I have lived with out this, but much prefer living with it.)

A high speed Internet connection, premium cable TV, and lots of books.

A good road bicycle and a reliable car.

A house with a garage that I can store my tools in and do various mr. fixit projects.

(1) How everything fits together to make up the whole of all that exists.

(2) Whether there is any real possibility for a world of joy, freedom, respect, love, and material abundance for all, and if so what those who want a world like that could do to create it.

(3) Whether the following sentences actually mean the same thing, and if not, then what the difference is:

2a. Visualizing yourself succeeding at your goals creates spiritual energy which alters your circumstances in the here-and-now, via perhaps your subtle energetic body, in ways that manifest a universe in which you do succeed.

2b. Visualising yourself succeeding at your goals creates enthusiasm, which both helps you change your self-talk from "I want to but" to "I know I can," which gives you the motivation and persistence to do all the stuff on your to-do list that can lead to you succeeding.

3) Whether "true love" is a patriarchal, unrealistic infantile fantasy of total merging with the mother, an opiate-of-the-people, and a way to keep people from forming adult-to-adult relationships that are affectionate, erotic, and friendly.

4) How I can continue to bicycle after the summer riding season and go into next year's in peak condition so I can do Century rides in April and May, perhaps by spending winter in the summer hemisphere.

Either home alone, home with a sweetie, or out to dinner with friends. Only occasionally at a concert party.

I'm in a real, emotionally involved relationship with an intelligent women who has an active erotic imagination. We are having a great time. This relationship is definitely open by mutual interest.

I'd like to find at least one other sweet woman friend to be an affectionate and intimate additional companion from time to time. Hopefully I can find someone who lives close enough to visit each other. Once or twice a month, It would be nice if she could be friends with my current lover as well.

You are a man or women who wants to invite me to events in Marin or Sonoma.

You have room in your life for a new friend and think I might like you.

You have a new or unusual take on subjects I'm interested in.

You are a woman who finds my profile appealing AND you share my interests above under "most personal thing."

You want to ride with me.

You have read "Plato and a Platypus Go Into a Bar" and laughed so hard you couldn't catch you breath.