cortexcavator
35 Philadelphia, PA
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cortexcavator
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My self-summary
Mischief managed.

According to friends: intellectual, intense, motivated, classy, articulate, witty, satirical, kind, generous, talented, strong-willed, charismatic, committed, loyal, compassionate, cool for a nerd (or cool AND a nerd, depending on whom you ask), passionate, funny, sensitive, introspective, full of integrity, open-minded, feminist, a believer in equality and social justice, loving, good listener, loquacious, eloquent, and "an all-around swell guy."

I wouldn't say "modest" is exactly on the list, but I wouldn't say "arrogant" is, either - the life I've lived and the people I've loved have taught me my worth. I know where I've been but I'm always ready to relearn my story from another point of view. I have a decent sense of where I'm going, paired with the willingness to be wrong. I know what I want from a relationship but I know most people's actual partner choices belie their stated partner wishes. I'd rather be happy than right, so I tend more toward curiosity than dealbreakers.

I am an unapologetic romantic - sweeping gestures a specialty. I'm not the pack alpha, and have no interest in applying for the role; I'm looking for an equal.

I just realized that "goofy" is nowhere on the above list. It should be.

(I'm not 100% sure why so very many people list their MBTI, but here's an odd thing about mine. I've taken many instruments many times over the years; from the first time, during college, until about 28, I was solidly INFP. Recently, there's been some vacillation - I/E-N-F-P/J - which I find intriguing....in the same way I find my astrological information intriguing. I don't take it very seriously; it doesn't inform my choices.)
What I’m doing with my life
Graduate psych program, MA; PhD somewhere else, next.

World-traveling prevention educator - hanging with, teaching and learning from kids 8-18 and the adults who love them.

My academic and professional pursuits are only good answers to "What are you doing with your life?" because I'm fortunate: these pursuits are also passions that bring me great joy.

Other answers: shower-singing, piano-playing (poorly), and occasional Rock-Banding (because I like to pretend I can drum)...all of which annoy the neighbors. Expressing my love verbally and otherwise to my nearest and dearest. Anticipating the day I can get back on stage and in a choir. Having those moments where I look around and go "Wow, this is my life" and grin. Devising what one of my professors calls "sexy research" - the stuff that gets names in papers and on HuffPo - then remembering that the prof also says "*good* sexy research doesn't exist" and recommitting myself to good research because I'd rather help people than be famous. (Dammit.)
I’m really good at
Singing, public speaking, wit, teaching, learning, people-watching, friendship, seeing all sides of things and perceiving nuance. Remembering song lyrics. Kissin'.
The first things people usually notice about me
(something funny...c'mon funny...) Yeah I got nothin'.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Tolkien, John Irving, Simon Pegg, Oliver Sacks, Aziz, Sex at Dawn, anything by Brené Brown.

The Nolan brothers, Abrams, Whedon, Sorkin, Tony Scott (RIP), Kevin Smith. Kubrick and Coppola. Mel Brooks, Nora Ephron and Penny Marshall. Linklater, and a smattering of Cameron Crowe. Philadelphia Story and An Affair to Remember, The Quiet Man, North by Northwest, Dr. Strangelove, Network, The French Connection.

Sorkin, Whedon, Abrams. Doctor Who (Davies over Moffat), Sherlock (where maybe Moffat should have stayed). Gilmore Girls. DCU and MCU shows (it does say "nerd" twice in the self-summary, y'all).

All music. I used to say "everything but country and opera," then I started training as an opera singer and discovered that what I'd been thinking of as country was just pop dressed up in a ten-gallon hat and shit-kickers that never kicked shit.

I'm kind of a picky eater, but my tastes are simple.
The six things I could never do without
Empathy and perspective.
Women. Romantically, sexually, platonically, familially.
Being passionately into things, learning way too much about them, and talking about them way too often for way too long.
Self-improvement. If I'm done growing, it's 'cause I'm done living.
People who pop my ego-bubble when I'm being too full of and/or hard on myself.
Cards Against Humanity.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
This process. This weird thing we've all signed up to do here. The heterosexual online dating environment is nearly saturated with pervs, douchebros, the willfully ignorant, the sexist and misogynist, the scintillating conversationalist who says "hey how ru" - and who, if you don't reply quickly enough, sends hate mail SPLC would have a field day with in any other medium.

I'm over here wondering what will interest the women who interest me, but I see you. You're trying to keep your inbox empty of the worst and most boring my gender has to offer so one or two guys who interest *you* can make themselves known.

How on Earth is it that I know so many people who've forged lasting, meaningful connections with well-matched mates thanks to this process?

When I'm done pondering these things, I go back to making myself known to the women who might be interested in me. I still see you over there, though. Rock on with your bad self.

PS - I read your profiles. I don't want to waste your time (or mine).
On a typical Friday night I am
Searching for the last puzzle piece. Seriously, I struggle to express how amazing my life is right now. Now I'm looking for the one who will enrich it with her spark, her partnership, her acceptance and appreciation of me as I am, and her eagerness to grow and learn with me.

Also, if she was a good kisser, that would be great. I really do like kissin'.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I was very little, I used to put on MTV or the Michael Jackson's Moonwalker video and dance, by myself, in front of the glass doors of the den armoire - where I could see myself and judge my moves. This is how I learned The Hammer.

That's not the admission: the admission is that this boy lives and thrives within the man.
You should message me if
You are a nerd, a thinker, someone with ridiculously diverse friends and interests, or a great entertainer/entertainee. Or you have an open and curious mind, a weird/loud laugh and the sense of humor that goes with it. Or you are mildly confused about (but enjoying the hell out of) this adult thing we're doing. Or you're sick of guys who either don't value or straight-up fear your intelligence and humor and you wonder what it would be like to be sought after for exactly those things. Or you value a guy who values vulnerability. Or any combination of these.

Definitely message me if you are/have all of the above.
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