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toobigforthebox

55 M Berkeley, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Black, Native American
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other, and laughing about it
Sign
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Medicine
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
please, please don't feel compelled read all of the forgoing. i know it is a bit much. just sample as you like. it is kind of holographic, so you can start and stop anywhere and get a good sense of me wherever you choose to dip in.

me: a playful, undomesticated brainiac; a feral gentleman; passionate, earthy and mentally rigorous. sharp enough to know for sure that life is sterile without *heart* and that being "book-smarts" are dead and deadly w/out "heart-smarts" to go with it. have a pretty high IQ and off the charts EQ, excelled of course, only by my stunning depth of humility. not emotionally perfect, in any way, but fairly emo-brilliant.

actually: the brainy thing was luck of the draw--i was born with it. the high EQ was something that i have always had the seeds of, but had to work my ass off on the inside to alchemize my youthful bat-shit crazy but super-sensitive ways into a grounded emotional intelligence. ADHD enthusiasm can leave some with a sense of overwhelm (that i come on strong. yeah, like a puppy.)

also: sometimes yielding and gracious when i am right, humble and contrite with self-respecting dignity when i am wrong. in friendship and love, i am a "team-player." cultivated over many bumbling years of loving and striving, it is one of my super-powers now. i will be on your side, fiercely and always.

further: i resemble walt whitman's remark: "i contradict myself? very well then! i contradict myself. i am large. i contain multitudes." while i have longed for most of my life to blend, to "fit in" and appear normal, i have recently decided, along with rumi, "from now on, i will be mad." mad and kind.

i play sorry guitar, but sing beautifully. an "intermediate" yoga enthusiast who maintains high fitness and flexibility. drawn to green/feminist politics. i have a 2400 book library, but maybe only 100 or so novels. love light carpentry and fixing things. would someday love to buy/build/restore a house. i don't surf.

a gregarious introvert (infp/enneagram 4), i appreciate regular solitude, but am warm and pro-social. i'm fiercely independent, yet intensely loyal and generously affectionate. there is a good chance that i will be a delight to your children, parents and pets, because i am pretty good at the "loving everybody" thing.

an agnostic gnostic--a "liberation theologian" by training. i'm not an atheist, but i respect the scientific method and principles of logic and argument. most theists would say that i AM an atheist because of all the crap i *do not* believe in. i am also a kind of mystic. i have an awkwardness inside around the split between my inner skeptic and my inner shaman. while i don't believe in "woo woo" stuff, i have had more than a handful of "woo woo" experiences, which lead me to conclude only that the world is bigger and weirder than i think, and than i *can* think.
What I’m doing with my life
rebuilding a coaching/training practice which i allowed to shrink in 2013 while attending to a family medical crisis involving my adult son. i'm fairly active in re/startup mode right now. lots of sweat, a little bit of equity and clear certainty that my vision is one that the world needs.

i am an integrative health professional specializing in trauma resolution and improving human resilience to stress, disease and evolutionary pressures, especially for social and environmental activists and people "underserved" by the mainstream healthcare system. i work as a life coach and trainer. I use several unusual modalities to assist people in achieving their life and health goals, primarily Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) aka "Tapping" , Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Somatic Experiencing (SE) and Hypnotherapy. I have studied with some of the best practitioner-trainers in the world in these fields (i did years of research before choosing teachers). now, i am a EFT trainer and NLP trainer. i am a impassioned social activist with green sensibilities.

a long-time social justice educator have been led on a surprising journey to become an impassioned (and talented) healing arts practitioner. today, my life coaching work and training and mentoring people in the disciplines that i work is my primary expression of my desire to change (and save) the world. it focuses primarily on trauma, interpersonal and political empowerment, and the skills needed to grow a more resilient nervous system.

i'm a black hippie barefoot dance machine. ideally, i dance 3 or more times a week. i also love using my bicycle to get around and doing yoga. these three keep me pretty fit and healthy.

i occasionally teach and lecture on multicultural issues, lead diversity workshops around the country, and have probably been to 150 campuses in almost every state. i write for publication every now and then. i am working on 2 books (really, one book and a big pamphlet).
I’m really good at
*conversation.
*laughing out loud while reading
*nuanced social criticism.
*singing folk songs and ballads-could also do lead vocals in a badass rock band.
*cooking--i serve healthy, tasty and creative food with love.
*making messes, esp. when cooking.
*owning my struggles and difficulties and not making anybody responsible for my happiness (or unhappiness.).
*love, romance and pleasure. really.
*chewing on ideas.
*ruminating.
*rising again after suffering a grievous blow
*making up new words and seducing old words into new and beautiful meanings.
The first things people usually notice about me
maybe that i'm energetic/kinetic. maybe that i've got a big, playful "trickster" spirit in me. or, maybe that i have "big" energy. maybe that i am kind. maybe they notice my resonant bari-tenor voice, or my "let-it-rip" infectious laughter. they might notice my curiosity or distract ...or my grace on the dance floor, or just strolling down the street.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
WRITERS: judith butler, fritjof capra, matthew fox, buckminster fuller,daniel goleman, bell hooks (most of her books. she quotes me in two of them), barbara marx hubbard (weird, but important to my journey), timothy leary (is the bomb!), audre lourde (is the bomb/ess!), thomas berry, brian swimme, malcolm gladwell, joanna macy, terrance mckenna, marge piercy, jeremy rifkin, joanna russ, daniel siegal, starhawk, alice walker, "the color purple" (favorite novel) robert anton wilson.

RECORDING ARTISTS: the beatles, tracy chapman, john coltrane,
the coup, ani difranco, peter gabriel, india irie, joni mitchell, keith jarrett, neville brothers, krs one, jaco pastorius, dead prez, joan armatrading, jill scott, michael jackson, amy winehouse ("love is a losing game"), rickie lee jones, alanis morisette, adelle, natalie merchant, sade, michael mcdonald, van morrison, parliament funkadelic, james brown, todd (have to ask?)

TEEVEE: (i haven't owned one in 10 years, i rely on netflix) glee (i know, don't laugh), lie to me, star trek (ds9 is tops), stargate/s, the wire, the b* in apt 23, the walking dead (for the moral predicaments, not the gore), documentaries and nature shows

MOOVEE DIRECTORS: milos forman, terry gilliam, jim jarmoush, stanley kubrick, spike lee, john sayles, julie dash, quentin tarantino

FLIX: all that jazz--the first movie i ever loved, apocolypse now,
avatar, birdy, blade runner, crash, daughters of the dust, dead man. ghost dog, groundhog day, iron man 1-3, and the whole "marvel movie franchise"(in childhood, marvel comics role models were more important moral guidance than my parents, school or God).
life of pi, lost in translation, memento, the matrix trilogy, powder, pride and prejudice (made me cry), rabbit-proof fence, shawshank redemption, smoke signals, star man, walkabout.
The six things I could never do without
*books, lots of books.
*spicy food
*dance and music
*gadgets--like my new kindle fire4G. and, um, yes, my iphone (i have drunk the ikoolaid.)
*work that makes a difference
*ideas, big ones and broad ones.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
*global warming. yikes!

how trauma affects the nervous system. what are the gentlest fastest and most powerful healing tools in the world

the isomorphism between natural, organic, cognitive and social systems.

why the homicidal genius baby in "family guy" is so funny.

when preparing food, how can i make it delicious nutritious, and beautiful, local, fresh and not too expensive?

how can we be ready for the future when the international money system collapses (may it come soon!)?
On a typical Friday night I am
looking for a new routine.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
okay, 4 things:

1) i have been in love with joni mitchell for 35 years. i have listened to joni mitchell's "blue" album hundreds of times (i am most drawn to her 70's work with LA express and jaco pastorius. i DO think that "blue" is the best singer/songewriter album, ever. she is my primary inspiration as a writer (and i only do essays!). i love and try to emulate the way she evokes vivid pictures and feelings in the listener/reader with her "cinematic" lyrics.

2) i have a large collection of stuffed rabbits that i absolutely ADORE! between 25 and 30 critters altogether. everybody has a name, and often an occupation. i will sometimes sleep with some,and i almost always take a couple in my suitcase on road trips. i even have little "pocket bunnies" for times when i am facing a serious audience on-stage. it puts a smile on my face to think, "nobody knows i have a bunny in my pocket."

3) i have a strong healthy man body that i love and am happy with in every way. i have a man's "essence" or felt sense on the inside that causes me to feel that i am a man, "all" man, and all that; yet, for most of my life i have secretly felt like the most androgynous person i know, never much looking the part, except at costume parties.

4) i've wanted to move to california and become a "hippie" since i was in elementary school, 9 or 10 years old. when yellow submarine came out, i was beside myself. the mod squad and the "billy jack" movie, really spoke to my soul.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 45–58
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
...you have a passion for justice, a playful and optimistic courageous life outlook, you are visionary, are strong and flexible body and soul... please be very fit and physically active, and love to dance your soul.

...you love kindness, generosity, dark chocolate and the idea of lasting passionate friendship and know how to be happy ...you are open for an enduring, powerful, passionate playful friendship and exploration w/one gentle, fierce, funny, loyal, nurturing adventurous guy with some awesome and unusual superpowers

...you are secretly (or not so secretly!) imagine yourself to be scary smart and have a special mission in life..