Okay then me....
I need a haircut, cook for a living, live on caffeine, wear combat
boots when I leave the house, just got my first real bed in 15
years, most of my jeans need to be patched, clean when I'm
stressed, smile a lot, sing along with the radio, I fidget
constantly, talk about my cats (Auto, Ambush and Faceplant), like
dogs even though some of them drive my allergies nuts, quote movies
and books, spend a lot of time taking care of my roommate/best
friend (there are seven of him), bake bread, have strange
conversations about random things, love food, go to bed early
during the week, live in my jammies when I'm at home, love to watch
movies, can eat with chopsticks, eat my pizza with a fork, turn
into a furnace when I sleep, love to nap, love to wander around,
have issues with crowds, not a huge drinker, don't do drugs, and
tend to say what's on my mind even if it's not appropriate for the
What I’m doing with my life
Spending way too much time in professional kitchens so I can slowly roast my brain into a wonderful head cheese, thinking too much, occasionally playing cribbage, grabbing the occasional beer and singing my lungs out at karaoke (yeah, I'm THAT kind of a dork) once in awhile actually sleeping, trying to grow a beard (I've been attempting it for 2 decade but no dice). Hanging out with my roommate and the cats and refusing to believe I actually exist on more than a conceptual level
I’m really good at
Making fun of myself and laughing. Also I think I'm a decent cook, or at least I hope I am otherwise I should really find a new job . Stuffing things with other things and forcing people to put it in their mouths, making unusual desserts, naming menu items after movies, albums, actors and authors (it took me three days to explain to everyone at work why I named a sandwich Bella Lugosi because they didn't get the joke).
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm seem taller than I am and I can't grow a beard
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books- Just about anything from King, Gaiman, Pratchett, Stephenson's cyber-punk bits.
Movies- I love bad horror movies and dark comedies. Give me a bowl of popcorn and a late night Indiana Jones, Boondock Saints, Sam Rami or old Peter Jackson marathon and I'm happy, I can also quote Goonies and Ghostbusters extensively.
Shows- Gotham, Doctor Who, The Young Ones, Leverage, Warehouse 13, Criminal Minds, The Colbert Report, Animaniacs and other assorted randomness.
Music- give me classic rock, punk, ska, industrial, metal, 90's alternative, swing, soul, blues, anything with a good melody that I can sing along with or gets my feet tapping.
Food- I'll put anything in my mouth and probably try to get everyone around me to also
The six things I could never do without
Sharp and Pointy objects
A source of fire
Caffeine (coffee or Dr. Pepper please)
My personal Bad Idea Bear
Something to read
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Food, books, movies, mayhem, food, why this world is going to hell, why we have to wear pants, why can't I grow a beard, how long it will take before my cat tries to eat me and what would happen in a Zombie Apocalypse (yes I have a plan)
On a typical Friday night I am
Throwing beer battered fish into a fryer and swearing at servers, maybe having a beer, occasionally sleeping, poking bears with sticks.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My favorite "chick flick" is Heathers.... I refuse to explain my
logic for this to anyone
You should message me if
You made it through the amazingly large amount of word vomit without getting lost, you want to rub my skull when it's freshly shaven, you have a desire to meet someone who can start chortling uncontrollably at completely inane things, you realize the whole beard thing is a horrible joke, you don't mind hanging out with someone who thinks about food ALL THE TIME or you need someone to be on your team for trivia. Because it's our time, our time down here!
Seriously, I'm as human as the next person once you look past my cybernetic body and see that even a brain in a jar can be sexy.