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34 F Milwaukee, WI

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:32pm
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
A little extra
Strictly anything
Trying to quit
Other, and laughing about it
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of university
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Might want kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), French (Poorly), Italian (Poorly), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
"The secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they are already met." - Calvin

I'm brash, brutally honest, fiercely loyal, work too much, play too hard, tend to make highly inappropriate comments or tell off color jokes, I do have some social graces but I keep them in a box under my bed and only pull them out for special occasions.... mind you my bed is a stack of futon mattresses on the floor so my social graces are very very small.

I blame the fact that I've worked in kitchens most of my life so I lack the filter most of polite society has. I have a severe case of shiny things syndrome, look like my picture and I like to sing karaoke because it's like therapy but no one looks at you funny if you do it with a beer in your hand, same with darts actually.

I have an amazing wealth of absolutely useless knowledge and suck at remembering peoples names if I've only met them once or twice in passing. I have strange phobia of earwigs and an even stranger obsession with food. I regularly get snarked at by friends and acquaintances when I'm out for making them hungry because I constantly am thinking about food and fun things to make. I have ten toes most of the time but sometimes I have more or less of them than usual, have you ever noticed tortellini look like belly buttons? To be honest I bring nothing to the table... that's what servers are for.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to get used to the fact I don't work 60+ hours a week anymore, thinking too much, occasionally playing cribbage, once in a while actually sleeping. Hanging out with my roommate and the cats and refusing to believe I actually exist on more than a conceptual level
I’m really good at
Making fun of myself and laughing. Also I think I'm a decent cook, or at least I hope I am otherwise I should really find a new job. Stuffing things with other things and forcing people to put it in their mouths, naming menu items after movies, albums, actors and authors (it took me three days to explain to everyone at work why I named a sandwich Bella Lugosi because they didn't get the joke). Failing miserably at getting around to painting my apartment, seriously I've lived here four years and the walls are still white- kind of like the sanitarium but with crooked doorways.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably my hat or my general lack of hair, the laughter that bubbles up when something tickles my brain, maybe my penchant for horrible word play and double meanings, it could be my insane exchanges of insults and name calling with my friends, possibly my singing or my big black boots
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books- Just about anything from King, Gaiman, Pratchett, Stephenson's cyber-punk bits.
Movies- I love bad horror movies and dark comedies. Give me a bowl of popcorn and a late night Indiana Jones, Boondock Saints, Sam Rami or old Peter Jackson marathon and I'm happy, I can also quote Goonies and Ghostbusters extensively.
Shows- Doctor Who, The Young Ones, Leverage, Warehouse 13, Criminal Minds, The Colbert Report, Animaniacs and other assorted randomness.
Music- give me classic rock, punk, ska, industrial, metal, 90's alternative, swing, soul, blues, anything with a good melody that I can sing along with or gets my feet tapping.
Food- I'll put anything in my mouth and probably try to get everyone around me to also
The six things I could never do without
Sharp and Pointy objects
A source of fire
Caffeine (coffee or Dr. Pepper please)
My personal Bad Idea Bear
Something to read
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Food, books, movies, mayhem, food, why this world is going to hell, why we have to wear pants, how difficult it would be to slap a motor on one of the bikes in my basement, how long it will take before my cat tries to eat me and what would happen in a Zombie Apocalypse (yes I have a plan)
On a typical Friday night I am
Sweating, laughing, wearing combat boots, swearing at fish, holding a knife and telling dirty jokes, or maybe having a beer, occasionally sleeping, poking bears with sticks.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My favorite "chick flick" is Heathers.... I refuse to explain my logic for this to anyone
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi girls
  • Ages 25–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You made it through the amazingly large amount of word vomit without getting lost, you want to rub my skull when it's freshly shaven, you have a desire to meet someone who can start chortling uncontrollably at completely inane things, you don't mind hanging out with someone who thinks about food ALL THE TIME or you need someone to be on your team for trivia. Because it's our time, our time down here!
Seriously, I'm as human as the next person once you look past my cybernetic body and see that even a brain in a jar can be sexy.