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28 Los Angeles, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Aug 28
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. A sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. If I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fifteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shaven scrotum. At the age of eighteen, I went off to evil medical school. From there...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Comedy Writer
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being neither seen nor heard. You can always tell a MIlford Man.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The Wire, Sanford and Sons, It's always sunny, Archer, Bobs Burgers, Parks and Rec, The Office, Simpsons, South Park, LOST, 24, Community, Curb, Full Metal Alchemist, Fairytail, Red Dwarf, Breaking Bad, Modern Family, Workaholics, Arrow, The A-Team, Game of thrones, Boardwalk Empire, Sword Art Online, One Piece, Seinfeld, The Flash, Ducktales, Avatar, Home Improvement, 30 Rock, New Girls, House of Cards, Muppet Babies, Brooklyn nine-nine, Daredevil, Sillicon Valley, Trailer Park Boys.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Spaceballs, Gladiator, Police Academy, Robocop, All Batmans, Back to the futures, ghostbusters, Walk Hard, Anchorman, Grandmas Boy, Ip Man, Borat, Commando, Taken, Remember the titans, phenominon, Die Hard and die hard 3, Terminator 2, Lord of the Rings, the cartoon robin hood where he's a fox, Dumb and Dumber, Ace Ventura, Big Daddy. X-mens, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Man Who Knew to Little, Once Upon a Time in the West, Planet of the Apes (The original), Star Wars.

I like books and music too, but I don't feel like listing them right now.

I pretty much like all food except tomatoes.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I'm pretty adaptable, but I'd hate to find myself in a situation where I'm unable to eat ice cream.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How serious should I be with my profile?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You would actually like to meet. What's the point of this site if you never parlay?

You're fun or funny...preferably both.