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33 San Francisco, CA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 32–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 10:01pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body type
Mostly vegetarian
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, Spanish (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I don't feel like spouting out a bunch of impressive stuff on here just to try and get guys to want to date me. I'm a god damn unicorn. I'll try to keep this blurb true to my personality so please forgive the rambling and unedited free flow of consciousness you're about to delve into. I'm not the type to sit down for 8 hours trying to perfect a laundry list of why I'm likeable. I'm a realist and quite direct with a strong sense of self and confidence that's unfortunately rare in a lot of women. I can come off strong but I'm actually a total sweetheart who's extremely authentic and level headed. I have a huge heart and I'm pretty confident that I'd get 5 stars on yelp by anyone I've dated (new app idea?) which is partly how I've managed to stay friends with almost everyone I've spent time with.
I use humor in every facet of my life and give myself a lot of credit for being able to make even the grouchiest of old ladies laugh💩
You already think I'm cute if you're reading this so I'm thinking all I need to say about myself is the basics, that I like camping, traveling, food,and occasionally put out to seem like a catch. I stopped believing that I could look like a Victoria Secret model when I lost my battle with parmesan crusted truffle fries. Not to say I don't try. I ride my bike every day and do ballet and pilates during the week like every other woman in this city. I have to do something to balance out all the indulgences that regularly occur living in SF.
I don't have any tolerance for Republicans, people that don't give a shit about the planet, crazy Christians, or any fanatic in general. Also, if you think PF Changs is good Chinese we won't be suitable for dinner dates. And I like to break bread before breaking it down😜 I moved back to SF almost two years ago after being gone on a few adventures. So far, seeing fat naked people roam the streets and amazing food is what's making it seem like it was a good idea. Hoping to meet someone that makes me laugh. Like pee myself laugh.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I seem to be the go to person for friends and family when they need help with something. Like watching their dogs or kids, doing their makeup and telling them what makes them look like a classy broad, finding them boyfriends by being a much appreciated wing man.I am always planning my next adventure (and having a difficult time saving! Put the dress down!!) I also spend a lot of time looking for my phone, keys, and sunglasses. I'm quite busy and don't really "go out" much. I like to spend quality time doing interesting activities rather than going out and just getting drunk. I'd like to meet someone that values their time as much as I do. Preferably someone that enjoys going outside and getting sweaty. Riding bikes and hiking. Not what came to your dirty mind first.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people laugh, usually at my expense. Offending people and their bad hair. Being a great friend. I have at least five people that would call me their "best" . Being alone and enjoying it. Speed reading. Palming a basketball . Getting bitten by wild animals including a sloth and a couple of monkeys. Dinner and cocktail parties. I'm like the indie version of Martha Stewart. Forgiveness, compassion, and understanding. Being generous and accommodating. Making people look good. Gardening. Making people feel guilty about not voting. Getting a good deal and a cheap flight.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My tattoos. Thank you for pointing out that I have them, I forgot to look in the mirror this morning. I also have a nice smile and I get my teeth cleaned every six months. Just sayin.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I read a lot. Usually pretty respectable books. Please don't ask me to tell you all the names of them. I have issues with names. I can read a book- love it, and forget the title a day after I put it back on the shelf. I think this is probably my least favorite thing about myself. I have issues with peoples names, towns I've been to, hotels I've stayed at. Don't even get me started about music. And if I tell you who my favorite band is don't ask me which album was the best. This tends to make me flustered which I then turn a beet red. And my arm pits might start sweating. Anyways, I'm reading like five books right now. Dear Life by Alice Munro, A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. This is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz, and just bought One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Marquez. Jeffrey Eugenides is probably my favorite author. He wrote Middlesex and I have never read a more perfectly written novel. Just finished his newest called The Marriage Plot. I love David Sedaris, Tolstoy, Glenn Beck (paying attention?) , Roald Dahl, anything that teaches me how to improve on myself (I never get past the first chapter) In all seriousness, suggestions by Oprah's Book Club have not done me wrong! Ok, Jodi Picoult was pathetic but entertaining at least. National Geographic and Vanity Fair are my favorite mags. I have all my books in boxes right now so I'm throwing blanks.
Music- I'm just going to go through my top 25 most played and feel free to judge me for my choices.
Belle and Sebastian, Morcheeba, Thievery Corporation, Cut Copy, Phoenix, Little Dragon, Pictureplane, Junior Boys, Lykke Li, Massive Attack, Romeo Santos (picked this up on my last travels), Band of Horses, Gorillaz, Hot Chip, Peter Bjorn and John, Steve Miller Band, Nouvelle Vague, UNKLE, Kinks, Paul Simon, PJHarvey, Eta James, Elvis, The 2 Bears, Caribou, Azealia Banks, Fat Freddy's Drop, Wild Beasts, Toots and the Mayhals, Jefferson Airplane, Blonde Redhead (ME!) Bjork (maybe my favorite??) Telefon Tel Aviv, Santogold, Major Lazer, Ott, Sebastian Tellier, Ladytron, Cat Power, Lenka, Gregory Isaacs, Goldfrapp, Scissor Sisters, Notorious B.I.G, Amy Winehouse, Royksopp, Boubacar, Les Larmes and anything I can dance to without trying too hard. Music is something that I am always evolving on and I love meeting new people so I can steal your music!
Food- anything that doesn't come out of plastic packaging is good. Great food is anything that is fresh, healthy, has a little love put into it and is creative. I hate that I'm a food snob but it's the truth. I judge you by what you eat. I judge myself when I eat crap. I don't get irritated easily but a bad meal pisses me off more than a delayed flight. I have really high expectations and disappoint easily. This is why I cook for myself quite often. Nothing too fancy but at least I know I'll like it. If I'm cooking for someone else, I am going to try extremely hard to impress you with my skillz. I'll probabaly get in over my head and then end up freaking out trying to finish everything by ten o'clock. By this time I will have had too much wine, spilled half of it on my dryclean only clothing and lost all hunger from the stress. Please don't ask me to cook for you until I get to know you better:) I would rather call in takeout and relax.
Movies- another thing I can be a snob about. I probably won't like it if it's a typical big budget hollywood shit show that's playing at the big theater. I prefer independent cinema. Subtitles do it for me. I hate scary movies and love dramas. The more boring the better.
TV- Never really owned one until a couple of years ago where it spent the whole time sitting in my closet. I have never been a cable subscriber. If my ass is gonna sit on the couch and miss out on life passing me by it better be good. I think my favorite show I ever watched was Six Feet Under. And for some odd reason I seriously got in to Battlestar Galactica. I like Girls, Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad, The Good Wife (guilty pleasure) and a few others that just don't really matter that much. Honestly, I wish there wasn't even TV. I always feel guilty about watching it and I feel like it's a waste of time. If I have the pleasure of having children one day I don't think I would really let them watch it either. I'm not a tv nazi or anything- I just feel like reading a book or going for a walk outside are better options:)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Honeycrisp apples
My down pillow
my german engineered vibrator
Belgium beer
Advil- for after those belgium beers
Lint rollers
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Food. I'm a fat chick with a really high metabolism. What I could have said to the idiot that asked me if it hurt to get tattooed. How I'm going to get rich so that I can travel for the rest of my life. How I should have remembered to put deodorant on this morning. North Korea, I'm sort of obsessed. How I really should not have said that last night....
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
If I insert YOLO here will my dream guy get that I'm being sarcastic?

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't have a filter and regularly insert my foot into my mouth. This is why nothing is private to me. I regularly talk about innapropriate things if there's even the slightest chance it might make someone laugh. I am way too self deprecating that it slightly borders on emotional abuse. I don't like hippies. I'm a beauty school drop out. I hate being called ma'am and baby talk gives me the willies. I enjoy farting in public spaces knowing that nobody is gonna point the finger at the pretty girl.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You don't use the words dude or bro, especially together. You recycle and vote. You have a sense of humor and can appreciate mine. If your profile pictures include more than one photo of you from burning man, lots of shirtless photos of you rock climbing, pictures of you hugging captive and drugged up wild animals, or all of your photos are bathroom selfies than I'm probably not going to be into you. I'm looking to find someone that laughs easily, smiles often. If you think you could handle a woman that is fiercely independent, radically liberal, and a tomboy in heels feel free to message me. I'm a tad bit traditional in the sense that I would never approach a man in the real world so that carries over into online dating. I'm too shy anyways to make the first move😳 Good luck out there and happy dating!