I consider myself to be extremely lucky; not with regard to any
sort of extravagance of lifestyle or luxury of possessions, but
with regard to the series of happenstances that form my past and
with regard to the person who has coalesced out of the experience.
The odds against being born at all are simply astounding; but to be
born, too, in an age where knowledge is ripe and is available to
all who seek it, and in a country founded on secular values, and in
a region so beauteous and diverse as California; I am in awe.
Further, to be adopted as a baby by a loving family, and to be
raised in a middle class home where there was always enough food,
and to have somehow missed, apparently, whatever training in
convention the other kids just must have received. You see, I use
the word "happenstance" because for most of my life I've played
hardly a role at all in determining who I am; we are all shaped by
the accidents that happen to us, and since I've realized that I
haven't been one to trust chance. I try to live deliberately, to be
the way I am because that's the way I want to be. And I'm rather
pleased with the person I am. My mistrust of authority has taught
me to think as an individual, my yearning for truth has taught me
to be scientific and skeptical, my humanity has taught me to be
compassionate, and my compassion has taught me to be concerned.
But, then again, it seems to be purely accidental that I have
chosen my person as I did. I could have chosen to be any other way,
but it's important to recognize that I did not, and I can't give
you an answer as to why not other than "good luck". I'd like to
close by quoting Christopher Hitchens from Letters to a Young
Contrarian, although it may now be less relevant than I had
originally intended, "It's too much to expect to live in an age
that is actually propitious for dissent. And most people,
most of the time, prefer to seek approval or security. Nor should
this surprise us (and nor, incidentally, are those desires
contemptible in themselves). Nonetheless, there are in all periods
people who feel themselves in some fashion to be apart.
And it is not too much to say that humanity is very much in debt to
such people, whether it chooses to acknowledge the debt or not."
What I’m doing with my life
I'm still trying to figure that out, though, now I have a much
better idea of what I want out of life than I did even a few months
ago. I believe that the universe has a way of guiding us to where
we need to go; If you realize that and "go with the flow" things
will always work themselves out, or you can try to push back or run
away, I think you'll find yourself beat and exhausted and basically
unhappy. Well, with that established, I'm not ashamed to admit that
I ran away to Santa Cruz for four years on what was basically a
journey of personal development; a series of struggles and
hardships and finally release and relief, because that's how things
improve and grow. So now it's 2013, right? I just moved back in
with my family and I'm not going to an indoctrination center
(college), I don't have a major waste of time (job), and I'm
happier than I've been in years (Maybe you should try it too). Of
course, this isn't to say that I don't learn extensively or work
hard. I love learning, and I consider myself to be highly informed,
I'm amazed by what most people don't know. I love history,
especially the history that has been "rewritten" or "covered-up"
(did you know that there are people who actually think that events
like the World Wars "just happened", as if everyone on the planet
just got pissed and started killing each other). Man, I could
ramble on for hours, but I won't. The question was "What I'm doing
with my life", the short answer is, I'm sick of "civilization", I'm
gonna get naked and plant the garden of Eden.
I’m really good at
Taking my time, which could also be construed as wasting time.
Rolling cigarettes, daydreaming, procrastinating, following logic,
listening. I'm not too sure how to tell if you're "really good" at
something, but I feel like I'm better at these things than most
people I have met.
The first things people usually notice about me
My "peacock feathers". At least that's how I think of it. By that I
mean my beard and my dreadlocks. Also sometimes I'm really quiet
and other times I just won't shut the fuck up...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Authors- George Orwell, Kurt Vonnegut, Aldous Huxley, Chuck
Palahniuk, Franz Kafka, David Berman, Thomas Paine, Christopher
Hitchens, Sam Harris, John Stuart Mill, Michio Kaku, David Icke,
Freeman Fly, and a number of others waiting patiently on my
Topics- Conspiracy FACTS, Hidden history and science, Mind control,
religion/mythology, occult symbolism, The Illuminati and the
Network/ Satanic chain of command, EVIL SHIT---To save the world,
one has to know what he's up against. And GOOD STUFF---edible wild
plants, gardening, I love stand up comedy--Bill Hicks, Doug
Stanhope, Louis CK, Bill Burr.
Movies- I used to be really into movies; though, less so now that
I'm reading more, but here are some of my favorites.
Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Jackie Brown- fuck it. Anything
Tarantino, Kubrick, Romero, or Del Toro; Fight Club, SLC Punk, Sin
City; weird movies like Eraserhead, Brazil, Naked Lunch, Kafka; and
very selectively comedy and horror movies, because you have to be
discerning to pull anything good out of such endless rubbish. Now,
if I watch a movie on my own it's usually a documentary, or a
lecture, or a debate-- I'm growing more boring as I get older,
T.V. Shows- Peep Show, Green Wing, Black Books, That Mitchell and
Webb Look, Lost(I watched the whole thing wondering why the fuck
they actually want to leave the island).
Music- Bad Brains, The Bad Plus, Black Flag, The Black Keys, Black
Sabbath, Bob Dylan, Bon Iver, The Bronx, Buffalo Springfield, Built
to Spill, Cake, Choking Victim, Chuck Berry, The Clash, Coconut
Records, The Devil Makes Three, The Doors, Elvis Presley, Frank
Sinatra, Frank Zappa, Fugazi, Godspeed You Black Emperor, Gorillaz,
Iggy and the Stooges, Johnny Cash, Kings of Leon, Leftover Crack,
Minor Threat, Modest Mouse, The Mountain Goats, Mumford and Sons,
Neil Young, New York Dolls, No Cash, Operation Ivy, Pavement, Pink
Floyd, The Pixies, The Ramones, Silver Jews, Smashing Pumpkins,
Spoon, Steve Miller Band, The Strokes, Sublime, The Suicide
Machines, Sunn0))), Swans, Tom Petty, Transplants, Two Gallants,
Vampire Weekend, The Velvet Underground, Violent Femmes, Weezer,
White Stripes, The Yardbirds. I've also been listening to a lot of
jazz and some classical on pandora lately.
Food- Grass-fed Butter, a lot of BUTTER, haha, and coconut oil.
Eggs over-easy, super fatty delicious bacon, grass-fed beef and a
bunch of homegrown organic veggies! Pink Himalayan Salt, turmeric,
coconut sugar, and cannabis... I was a vegetarian for four years,
until I realized that it was damaging my body. I'm serious about
the butter, butter makes everything better! Really EVERYTHING,
like, if you want a better butt, better buy some butter! Haha! (But
it has to be grass-fed! Cows are meant to eat grass, when they are
fed foods they are not supposed to eat (like grain and ground
beef..) they get extremely unhealthy, and by extension the meat and
milk and butter from that cow will be unhealthy.) I like most
foods, most real foods, I mean; if it's fresh I'll probably eat it.
I enjoy cooking quite a bit too. I love spicy food, especially with
a cup of coffee and a cigarette. I always have some jalapenos and
habaneros at hand for cooking.
The six things I could never do without
Books- because I'm not about to sit in a classroom.
Cigarettes- because I read somewhere that making a habit of
controlled, deep breaths is key to a healthy lifestyle.
Passion- because it's infinitely easier to do things once you've
convinced yourself that whatever it may be is terribly
Laughter- because, otherwise, such impotence and tragedy would be
Time for Reflection- and this could either cloud or clarify what I
mean, but it sometimes involves a mirror.
The Eccentricities of Habit and of Psyche that reveal themselves
after the affectation has been dropped- the raw, unabated self.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How traumatic an experience waking up is. How liberating a cell
phone is when you need it, and how entrapped I feel anytime it
rings. Commercials, and how pointless and potentially dangerous it
is to have such propaganda fed to the public. How much I hate my
American accent. How expensive everything is. How hilarious
children are once you start thinking of them as young apes. How I
managed to waste so much time today-everyday. What I should do
next. Whatever I'm reading and how it's relevant. Physics stuff;
the nature of space, time, light, matter, information, and how it
all fits together. What different people in different places in the
world are doing and what the implications of their actions are. How
to build an accurate and fair economic system. The role of
government. How to build a better educational system. What the
future could be like. How lonely it is being the only person who
lives in my head, and how cruel a concept that is. Real Zombies...
On a typical Friday night I am
I don't know, I try not the acknowledge the days of the week
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think MOST people are painfully ignorant... Especially college
kids. Most people most of the time, including most "adults" have
absolutely no context (let alone text or subtext) pertaining to the
subjects that I talk about on a daily basis. Which is extremely
disturbing, considering that I'm not that smart, I'm just very
observant, and I can recognize patterns quickly. It just goes to
show that most people, most of the time, will actively IGNORE the
reality occuring Right in front of their own nose.
You should message me if
What I've written somehow appeals to you, or if you're interested
in literature, or science, or philosophy, or social change and feel
like having a conversation.