**DISCLAIMER- I DIDN'T WRITE ALL THIS SHIT**
Credit goes to my lovely little Elliott

I don't need you or your brand new Benz
Or your bougie friends
I don't need love lookin' like diamonds
Lookin' like diamonds

Midnight
I'm drunk
I don't give a fuck
Wanna dance
By myself (unless I'm super drunk at Machine and then I'll dance with anything with a pulse and maybe even some things that don't have one)
Guess you're outta luck
Don't touch
Back up
I'm not the one
Buh bye
Listen up it's just not happening
You can say what you want to your boyfriends
Just let me have my fun tonight
Aiight

Life is tricky I'm picky baby, but I just spotted you
Doin' your thing, g-string, shoe string point of view, hey
Lend me ya body, you got me in a zone
Bet a million and a half cash, I can make you explode

I'm currently a Sophomore at BU studying advertising (Go Terriers!) in the College of Communications. I hate school and don't plan on going to graduate school, I mean who needs to with a COM degree anyways? I work in dining services and love it! I also am a breakfast chef. I am also the vice president of my fraternity, its exhausting.

Where to begin... I'm really good at walking with my head down. It may seem crazy but you move way faster and it's way more interesting. People say I'm really funny, but I can never tell if they are laughing with me or at me? I have also been told that my stories are fascinating, they go on forever and they take you to a place called nowheresville population of 1 (that's me!). And don't forget about those eggs!

My nipple piercings!!! I have also been mistaken for straight, if you're into that ;) The second thing people tend to notice is my killer smile. But here's the catch, you either get my smile or my eyes. You can't see both at the same time, that means don't make me smile while I'm driving! I almost drive off a cliff.... true story! Oh wait that was more than one thing, I guess I'm just a catch

1. No time to read when you're studying every sex position in the book.
2. 1313...umm all 907 of them.
3. Grey's Anatomy...I've been practicing...I can find your penis!
4. Hashbrowns Hashbrowns #browns
5. How to pick up a PIKE boy...written by Eric Linder.

1. iPhone
2. My car
3. My Little's Tumblr
4. My frat bros
5. CityCo
6. PBR

Cars, my future career (please lord let there be one), my future in general... My path to being a millionaire, all my daydreams

out PaRtyIN9! NO, but really. I'm out a lot. The weekend is for hangovers :p

Sometimes I'm a hot mess but aint nobody got time for dat so its whatevah

If you look like a straight guy, and fuck like Fabio.