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brodbeansalad

21 M Mesa, AZ

My Details

Last Online
Jun 28, 2013
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Other, and very serious about it
Sign
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from high school
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Dislikes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Thank you for clicking on my face. I'm Brody.

Moar like OKStupid, amirite?

EDIT: I found someone, you guys; finally didn't settle, finally found the ONE I've been looking for since day one. And you will too.

I'm a musician/singer-songwriter, recently learned that I get along best with people who have SOME kind of passion regarding music. If you're one of those people who always have iTunes or Pandora open, even when you're sleeping, we should get along very well :33.

I have a pretty dark sense of humor, implying 'cynical dick'. But I really love cats, so I can't be all that bad. I like caffeine, hockey, funny women, binge drinking, good movies, bad movies, video games, rusty spoons, late-night picnics, motherfuckin' cats, abstract art, museums, self-depricating humor, hating all things ever, and fruit smoothies.
What I’m doing with my life
Lately, developing my music. These days, I'm making more than enough as a humble pharmaceutical salesman, as well. I'm kind of like Jake Gyllenhaal in Love & Other Drugs, except my abs aren't as rock-hard.

I'm being ordained as a minister this summer so I can marry the fuck out of some people, too. Because if our country considers gay marriage to be more of a blight on the institution of marriage than say divorce, or immigrant anchor marriages, anything fucking goes.

Furthermore, America needs to legalize same-sex marriage now because I would watch the shit out of some Gay Divorce Court TV
I’m really good at
- Not texting people back.
- Singing songs I wish I wrote.
- Making jokes on obscure pop-culturey things that no one gets. (Bonus points if you identify any on here in a message to me! (;)
- Whiskey, gin, and brandy. With a glass, I'm pretty handy.
- Post-midnight self-deprication.
The first things people usually notice about me
My big fat cock.

Or, I have the word VERITAS inked along my left index finger and it's pretty hard to cover that with long sleeves.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(Gratuitous list of favorites you literally do not care about)

I read mostly non-fictions and biographies, Tarantino movies are one of my true life joys (Django Unchained was excellent, if you haven't seen it),

I'll watch the shit out of some It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Hard-pressed to get me to watch TV, since I do have the attention-span of a retarded paperclip.

If food is love, McDonald's is like that dirty whore you hooked up with freshman year. It might've even tasted good but all you really get out of it is guilt and disease. I try to stay the fuck away from fast food, is the point I am trying to convey. Taco Bell doesn't count, I will bite the burrito-shaped bullet.

Favorite genres of cinema, literature and video games include sci-fi, western (BRING BACK FIREFLY), steampunk, cyberpunk, etc.
The six things I could never do without
Whatever those five kids from Captain Planet said, plus beer.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How poorly my sense of humor translates via text.
On a typical Friday night I am
Shooting whiskey and starting fight clubs.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I was one of Arizona's homeless for a majority of 2012.

Where I'm from, if you've ever seen what I've seen,
You know it can't get no better for me, know it can't get no better for me.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–25
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You are pursuing a joint career as a hair stylist-nurse. Also, if your eyes are the first thing people notice about you, and you are 'down-to-earth'. What I'm doing here, is making fun of the vast diversity of you ladies' profiles on this website.

You are astute, fairly acute, and almost always obtuse.

You dig music.