Woman walks into a bar. "What'll you have?" says the bartender. "An entendre," says the woman. "Make it a double." So he gave it to her.
Gone to seed journalist falls on hard times, seeks beautiful Gypsy girl to pine over.
I have a recent diagnosis of a rheumatoid inflammatory condition. Thus I am unlikely to accompany you on any marathons. I will happily cheer you on, and be waiting at the finish line with a nice beverage for you as well as a big towel to wrap you in.
But I am not defined by my maladies. Just being up-front.
I'm currently running a small closed-circuit TV studio for distance-learning classes at a local college. Interesting work for a gadget geek like me. Unfortunately it is also a perfect example of what is known as "underemployment", but when has anyone ever been able to stop looking for something better? Suffice to say I will not be bringing you Dom Perignon or whisking you off for a weekend in Nice. A bunch of wildflowers and perhaps a burger at your favorite hole in the wall is, however, well within the realm of possibility.
I've discovered that I miss being able to put my arms around someone. As that eminent philosopher Dave Attell has observed, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
A certain lack of delicate sensibilities is something I enjoy...in everyone. People are too offended by words and not offended enough by substance.
I want to hang out with women who still think fart jokes are funny but also appreciate foreign films and French food. Women who are offended by war. Women who realize that Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin are idiots, and don't try to make excuses for them by blaming the "mainstream media".
Or more to the point, one woman. You?
I like movies very much, and music. I play several instruments badly. Art is important to me, although I am more likely to look at an unusual piece and think it is cool than stroke my beard and use words like "zeitgeist" to describe it. I don't apologize for this; there's nothing wrong with liking a piece of art because it looks cool. Just ask H.R. Giger.