Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
In addition to being incurably strange and constantly laughing at
myself, I find rush-hour traffic absolutely hilarious--despite
having endured D.C. drivers for the last few years. Not-quite-fresh
from Baltimore, I came here for work a couple years ago and
recently decided to make the move permanent.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Transcending cryptic errors, burnt coffee, and the urge to sleep
through design meetings. Should I ever tire of coding, my backup
plan is "physical therapist," and my backup-backup plan is
"accountant." The others are increasingly laughable.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Memorizing directions and making mental maps of the areas through
which I've driven. Writing is fairly easy, too--though my prowess
is more technical than artistic. It probably can't be said that I'm
uncreative, as I could easily write a book called "100 Ways to
Misuse a Binder Clip." (Alternate title: "MacGyver: Office
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Anyone who has seen me in public more than twice may conclude that
I have an obsession with horizontal stripes--which I can neither
confirm nor deny. During the winter, I'm frequently asked, "Are
you, like, from Alaska?" As it turns out, I'm as likely to wear
shorts as I am horizontal stripes, regardless of the temperature.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I mainly read "how-to" books on stuff I theoretically like, but
probably won't get around to--like landscaping or carpentry. Of
fiction, I love Speaker For the Dead, Artemis
Fowl, and Deception Point.
R&B comprises at least 30% of my music collection, especially
Brandy. Her tracks are intricately
layered and they reward close listening.
Though a relatively casual gamer, I like RPGs, platformers, namely:
Sonic the Hedgehog, The Legend of Dragoon,
Disgaea, and Dragon Age. (I also do fighting
games.) Currently experimenting with board/card games; Splendor and
Lost Cities are a couple favorites.
For a last meal, I would probably order chicken wings, creamed
chipped beef (over biscuits), sixteen ounces of ribeye, and
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Dreadlocks are pretty cool--they're versatile, but low-maintenance.
Highways are nice, too; driving is therapeutic for me. Dark socks,
ambient noise, and ceiling fans do something for me.
Caustic wordplay is rather amusing, if not overdone--who doesn't
get an occasional kick out of the sassy friend?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
+ Switching to decaf; but I dread repeating the withdrawal
+ Times that I tripped and fell; these always make me laugh for
some reason--especially if I caught someone else trying not to
laugh at the time.
+ The novel I can't seem to finish; my inner critic keeps hiding my
pens and dunking my computer in the tub.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Destroying my kitchen or whatever corner of the gym I'm currently
occupying--unless it's poker night, in which case I'm probably
blowing the table up with some pre-flop raises...or cowering behind
minimum bets. My affection for the cards is often unrequited. I've
also surrendered to the hype and begun to play tennis, so that's an
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I enjoy singing, but my talent for it is nonexistent. I'd be
willing to trade some of my aptitude in other fields for a decent
voice if I could guarantee that I'd be able to appreciate it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've been dying to know why I'm laughing at traffic. Those
looking for fun, games, or jokes drier than your average jerky are
welcome, too. I value any sustainable connection, be it friendship
or something more intense.
Who are you looking for?
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