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bryanthebryan

25 Conshohocken, PA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–31
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Other, but not too serious about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on space camp
Job
Hospitality
Income
Status
Single
Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Like many men my age, I'm 25.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working as chef tournant between a couple respectable spots outside town for the spiritual fulfillment, with boisterous ambitions of someday settling down and taking a nice nap or something. Then on the day(s) off guzzling tea, hanging out with the roomies on the deck, and doin thangs. I try not to let the excitement get to me.

Six out of seven weekdays agree, I'm at fucking work! :(
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Giving high-fives! Protip: Concentrate on the other person's elbow, and you will never, ever miss. Afterwards, stare them dead in the eyes while you slowly lick your hand for psych-out points.

I'm always getting up there a bit cooking-wise (more "proctologist-turned-heart-surgeon" "up there" than "nose-picking" "up there"), and am a fairly skilled drawer of dicks, a master debater, a pretty good sunfish sailor, and am an esteemed drunken conversationalist. I have an uncanny ability to balance alcoholic beverages on my laptop. I've also recently spent a year apprenticing as a custom cabinet maker, which left me with a number of manlyish skills such that you may actually forget just how little facial hair my soft girly face is capable of hosting. Aw yeah guryl, I'll hang yo drywall

Things I'm markedly *not* good at: Snapping my fingers (or anything demanding even a semblance of rhythm), accents, not listening to Pete Yorn when drunk, truly enjoying football/bro sports in general, and hula-hooping.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My somehow graceful execution of general goofy-ass-motherfucker-ness.

For the perceptive: the ever-freshly burned and cut forearms, knife-hand calluses, and seemingly magical pockets of holding packed with fine point sharpies which are indicative of a fine dining schmoe in the wild.

When I go to a bar/liquor store, usually the impression is that I have some pretty good connections in the fake id community. I am all that is 17-year-old looking.

Honorable mention: my fly is open.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I like getting stoned and observing cinematography. I dig Tarantino and Kubrick, for a start. Really, really liked True Detective. Lately interested in Coen brothers. I have never read a Camus quote that wasn't pretty awesome. Rick and Morty is and fully satisfying in the way that makes me feel like it was made for me, and me alone (but sharing is caring). Breaking Bad, the League.. idk, my bff jill.

I'd say Shogun by James Clavell pretty much wins for the book category. ASOIF is lovely as well.
Foodstuffs. On Food and Cooking is my primary designated bathroom reader, but lately floating around the coffee table somewhere:
1. "Basic butchering of livestock and game"
2. " The Forager's Harvest: A Guide to Identifying, Harvesting, and Preparing Edible Wild Plants"
3. " Emergency War Surgery: The Survivalist's Medical Desk Reference"
4. "Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons"
5. " The SAS Guide to Tracking, New and Revised"

I'm not sure what the NSA has to say about my reading habits. 9 year-old me requests a shout-out for Calvin and Hobbes, Hitchhiker's Guide, and the Far Side.

Music-wise, big ol' NIN kick right now. Brand New, Okkervil River, Arctic Monkeys, Arcade Fire, Jeff Buckley, Radiohead, Animal Collective, STP, the Shins, Modest Mouse, Queens of the Stone Age, and all the good stuff you'd assume in-between. For me, I think the furthest enjoyable marker on the country spectrum is Ryan Adams. I think the furthest enjoyable marker on the Kinsey spectrum is Brad Pitt circa Fight Club.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I don't need much. I appreciate my vices, family, and music. I'm a stoic motherfucker.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Whether to drop it all, go full Jiro and stage at some places in Europe, or drop fine dining and pursue something more natural to me, whatever that may be.

I'm fascinated by ironic facts, corruption, and the ugly side of human nature. The ugly is beautiful to me, it's more realistic than shiny, pretty things. Hardcore drugs, criminal methods, government corruption, special operations in WWII, ridiculous dictators, espionage, and pathophysiology may all seem like dreadfully morbid subjects, but to me, learning about them is akin to the satisfaction of a quiet girl reading poetry in a coffee shop.

I like learning about those things, but more often than not, on long car trips I'm usually mowing over subjects like biotechnology/transhumanism, legal/social philosophy, technology (nano/medical/comp), eastern philosophy, ethics, and social sciences (oddly without crashing). It would appear that the action of shoving whiskey/wine and snazzy cured meats in my gullet is likely to cause rambling about all of these things in a significantly disorganized fashion.

Absurdism, humanism and buddhism.

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20101229.gif
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
"Five bouche; Mix, two Smoke Crudo Oysters followed by two Foie Octo Soup Gnudi, followed by Bouilla Tilefish Beef Skate Large Cavatelli."

"OCTO SOUP GNUDI, BOUILLA TILE BEEF SKATE L CAV HEARD"
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am nearly impossible to get to any other day than mondays, at least until friggin 11pm or later. Like the McDonalds breakfast menu for alcoholics. But hey, I could be the sausage patty your hangover dreams are made of.

If released into the wild, I will turn over rocks and poke things with sticks relentlessly. Semi-related, I have determined that I definitely can't smell stink bugs. Thank you genetic lottery in this aspect. Except for the crippling fear of never truly knowing if I smell like shit or not.

Whenever I stay at someone's house after a night of drinking, I wake up early and find a pen and notepad, and spend five minutes making a detailed dick drawing before hiding it somewhere in the house. Crisper drawer, tv remote battery case, keurig cartridge loader, dishwasher, etc. Don't look at me like that, I'm totally spilling my heart out here

Not quite a private detail, but an insider's one nonetheless, and something for the psych major's among you to soak up: I'm the youngest of seven, with one sister. Half my influences are sarcastic witty nerdlings, and the other half, worldly drunkards, and I love them all.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to grab a drink. And drink it.

You want to lend me a GoPro I can strap on my head for a saturday dinner service, so I can be an artsy dirty hipster fuck.

"What's up" and "How are you" are deep, meaningful questions that have bewildered mankind for centuries, and I'm afraid I simply don't have the answers you seek.

Consider this a litmus test for humor:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf9oD_xl8mI

http://i.imgur.com/6lnpR.jpg