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28 Asheville, NC Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 22–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:05am
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Other, and very serious about it
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Working on masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), German (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm an ENFJ. I've been four or five religions, four political parties, and I'm a total geek. All of these perspectives influence me, some to a greater degree than others, and even the ones that only inform small pieces of who I am are still part of the puzzle and are still worlds that I maintain some small bridges with.

I can give you a tour of brain structures, talk about ancient Sumerian, Norse, Celtic, Babylonian, and Greek lore, explain the catechism better than most Catholics, discuss Taoist literature, holocaust literature, and memoirs from multiple African countries, build worlds inside a game engine, explain sleep, addiction, and memory on a brain chemical level, cure a headache or acne with plants I know how to grow organically, cook on a pretty damn good level, and walk you through building an earthquake proof home or garden shed from local materials for cheaper than you probably got your car for - and it'll literally be a work of art. I've also specialized over the years in the science side of human bonding, including parental and friendship levels.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm studying psychology and religion with plans to go into pastoral counseling. This does NOT mean that I would be an ordained clergyperson, but that I would integrate spiritual aspects, along with mental and physical (neurological) aspects, in helping people as *whole* people. I find that psychological care is especially lacking for the polytheistic/shamanistic/mystical religious population, since most therapists (by no means all, but a very large number) can't tell the difference between purposely induced trances and insanity. (Some would-be practitioners in these areas can't either, due to self-experimentation often substituting for good training and solid guidance.) Regardless of where my personal spiritual path takes me, I want to be able to help this population get the meantal health care that is sometimes desperately needed.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I excell at writing, but I'm particularly good with theraputic meditations and prayers/ritual work. I like to think of them as "handcrafted experiences" - some people use art, film, music, etc. to share experiences, but when crafting a meditation or ritual, I create the skeleton of an experience itself. True, it's a bit different each time, but it's solid, there, tangible, and sharable.

I'm a half-assed sketch artist, amateur djembe player, and I can knit, weave and sew. I also have training as a massage therapist, and - before a lower back injury - dance (including 10 years of ballet) and yoga.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Being upfront, flaws included... I'm overweight, but not obese, and at least the curves are fairly balanced. (I lose weight stomach first, so it comes out to an hourglass when I'm in shape.) I wear glasses. I talk a lot (though too much is often a sign of nerves), and laugh easily - and occasionally a bit loudly. I'm actually an introvert though,* and get quieter once I consider you someone I can relax around. I'm often late, and sometimes underprepared if it's a class - whether as a student or a teacher.

I'm highly conflict avoidant - unless the topic is something I have a strong knowledge base regarding and/or it's part of my research, in which case if you go out of your way to piss me off you may get an email with a 40-80 page research paper on the subject, with references and recommended further reading.

I am not a particularly materialistic/consumerist person. I also have a sharp memory and am very serious about growing as a person. I intend to polish away all selfishness, addictions, and other causes of what Buddhists would call "dukkha" in my life.

I see through other people's masks and have a hard time biting my tongue when I know someone is being avoidant, and this can easily make people uncomfortable. I do not do well around shallow people who do not know themselves very well, moreso if they are avoiding looking in the mirror, so to speak. That's all well and good if you're someone's therapist, but it wouldn't work in a relationship.

I also read a lot more than the average person, generally working on 2-5 books at any given time, though I take awhile to "chew on" and finish them all.

* If you're saying to yourself "An introvert? But I thought you were an ENFJ!" I actually came out barely favoring extrovert on that test. I like being around people, on the one hand, but I find it draining, and if I don't get time to recharge I become quite an unhappy camper.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: "Afterlife," by Morton Kelsey; "Why God Loves Us, No Matter What," by Ken Sedlak;"Wise Child," by Monica Furlong; "Snow Crash," by Neal Stevenson; "Primary Inversion" and "Radiant Seas" by Catherine Asaro; The Poetic Edda; "A Victorian Grimoire," by Patricia Telesco, "The Path of a Christian Witch," by Adelina St. Chair (minus the Mary Magdaline stuff - my take on her is more like Margaret George's); "The Tao Te Ching," Stephen Mitchell's Translation; "The Tao of Inner Peace," by Daine Dreher, "Nervous Conditions," by Tsitsi Dangarembga; "Class Matters," NY Times Staff; "Back to Eden," by Jethro Kloss (not what it sounds like - long book about herbal medicine in vast detail); "The Accidental Mind," by David Linden. Of course, also, the ubiquitous Harry Potter. My best known Shakespeare plays are Macbeth and Merchant of Venice, and I will also get references to Orwell, Dickens, Steinbeck, and Poe.

Movies: Lord Save Us from Your Followers, Labyrinth, Princess Bride, Hook, Thor, Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, Kiki's Delivery Service, Underworld, The Others, Interview with a Vampire, What Dreams May Come, Agora, Brave, Secretary, The 13th Warrior, The Addams Family Values, Sleepy Hollow, The Spirit of Albion, Vision, Dr. Horrible (if that counts?), Office Space, Anything Star Wars or Star Trek.

TV: Star Trek - Especially TNG, Babylon 5, Farscape, Doctor Who, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Game of Thrones, Vikings, Sherlock, Firefly, Big Bang Theory.


Past: Oblivion, Morowind, Half Life/ HL2, CS:Source, The Sims 2, Neverwinter Nights, Dungeon Siege 2, Call of Duty / UO, Red Orchestra, Infiltration, Rise of Nations, Tomb Raider: Legend (and a few previous ones - my first games were TR2 and Doom2, unless you count the Kings Quest series... which mostly shows my age, right there.) I am an experienced mod maker for Oblivion, Morrowind, Counter Strike, and The Sims 2.

The Current/Near Future List (including games I bought years ago, before I had a computer fry on me that I couldn't replace for a few years - only listing owned games): Skyrim, Portal/Portal2, TF:2, Far Cry, NWN2.

Music: NIN, Symphony of Science, Lo-Pro, Alesana, VNV Nation, ThouShaltNot, The Cruxshadows, Seabound, Depeche Mode, The Birthday Massacre, The Vincent Black Shadow, VAST, Detroit Escalator Company, Ulrich Schnauss, David Davidson, Alasdair Fraser, Faun, Damh the Bard, Shelley Phillips, Lorena McKennitt, Woodland,, Kellianna... Basically Meditative, Celtic, EBM, and Gothic/Industrial. (Playing The Cure, Celldweller, Iris, Anberlin, or Lizette& around me are no-nos, generally. I like their music, but the memories attached are not worth it.)

Foods vary. No longer vegetarian, but I can cook it well and would probably revert back over time if I dated one.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my laptop; internet access; headphones and/or speakers for music (which I can, and do, store on my laptop for easy access, along with movies and e-books); a quiet place to pray/meditate; a good supply of yarn; and my closest friends, who are truly my family.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I have no fear of death. I don't know where my future is going between now and then, so I'm basically taking it one day at a time, and meeting each challange as it comes.

Spiritual/religious things are a huge part of how I think. There are a wide variety of topics within that, but it's an undercurrent, even in small things, within that - ranging from my love of meditation informing how I go about mundane chores, to my reverence for nature and fellow human beings informing where I spend what money I have. (ex: I know what companies use child labor, etc.)

If you're an agnostic who has or would consider exploring pantheism or the Tao Te Ching, that could work, but if you're the sort of hardcore atheist who enjoys mocking religious people, you may find most of what I do a waste of an intelligent mind. Which is unfortunate, because I actually do help people.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
On my computer, generally. Chatting or gaming.
Maybe working on writing a book... But, realistically, I'm either blogging or knitting with a sci-fi marathon.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm actually deeply ashamed of the fact that I'm not done with everything including grad school at this point in my life.

I also kind of forgot to delete this profile in 2007, got engaged, got married, and... Basically had my heart broken in under a year. He lied to me about problems at his job that had slashed his income in half, which was silly because I would have gotten another job if I'd known in order to help out. To be fair, I also had a really bad addiction to perfecting a large scale Oblivion mod project I was working on, and he was starting to feel like a gaming widower. No kids from that, at least, but it taught me a lot about communicating things more in a relationship and not letting problems fester in silence.

Also used to have strong OCD, but... that's definitely mellowed out, and only shows under stress these days.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're not just looking for casual sex. I don't do that. I know too much about neurobiology and human bonding.

You like science fiction.

You know Fundamentalism and Atheism are not the only two options.

You like looking at the big picture and how things are connected.

You realize that if we destroy the planet all other issues are moot because we'd all be dead.

If you love books and consider libraries soothing places.

If you're secretly a Viking at heart, but don't use it as an excuse to be a jackass.

Also if you have no interest in dating but you're trying to get a D&D group or other gaming group together. I'm a bit rusty, and I don't know the new versions of some things well, but I'm a quick learner and I'd love to get back in. (Side note: I don't play MtG, or WoW.) I've actually had far more potential gamer groups form on here than successful dates, so...

Also, for the questions... don't rely on those too, too much. A lot of things have explanations, certain circumstances, or are simply not yes or no answers but were presented as yes or no questions, and may have been answered in light of the exception or circumstance, not the preference or rule.

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