NO! There will be no summary. I demand exposition!

platypusphotography

Me: tall, mildly type-A, amusing, freckled, supportive, masculine, posture-sensitive, technologically inclined, socially liberal, dog/cat/tree foodasaurus

Also, I'm not a romantic. Romance to me is paying attention and caring, plus some stuff I can do with my tongue. Sort of an engineering approach to relationships. Think Doogie Howser. For Myers-Briggs groupies, I'm an INTJ.

En español: Tengo la suerte. Dónde está el baño?

I am brilliant, gorgeous, and modest

Being an attorney and the guy you call when your stuff breaks. Frittering away time better spent frolicking. Spending three days a week in a climbing gym. Talking to myself in the car until something comes out I can say in Toastmasters. Making world famous spaghetti, cribbed from my Dad and known only to me and ten other people. Trying to come up with a marinade that will make $5 steak taste like $10 steak. EDIT: Found it! It's called a "crock pot." I had no idea. Tomorrow, I will discover the spatula.

Lying, cheating, stealing, and breaking and entering. That's why I signed on to lawyering. If I can't keep out of trouble, at least I can get myself recused from it.

And I'm a huge geek. Not as in, "I'm unable to form a coherent sentence in the presence of others," but more "Oh, your computer is full? Let me build you a RAID." Likewise for web design and the like. I was the kid programming in geometry class.

Sharing what I've learned. It's practically a compulsion. Whenever I learn something, I write about it on sites like Amazon and Wikipedia. Yes, this means I control your reality. Don't pretend it doesn't turn you on.

My gleaming smile, which may or may not be the result of a) my awesome dental hygiene, b) tingly bleachy stuff, or c) confusing me for a smiley I drew on copy paper, with which I share the same approximate skin tone.

Also, I have red hair. Depending on the season and my inclination to drag myself to the gym, I may or may not have an imposing chestal region. At present, my chestals are impressively touchable.

A) I have at least three on why buildings fall down, one from the guy who made the McLaren F1, and a largely random collection from such famous authors as Augusten Burroughs and Martha Stewart. And don't read any of them, because I'm on Longform.org instead. But if I were to read a book, it'd probably be nonfiction.

I can't eat without reading unless I'm with someone. It's not possible. The throne is the same --for lack of having brought stuff in with me, I've memorized the back of shampoo bottles. I can pretty much generalize: if I'm not working or out with folks, I'm reading.

B) EVERY SINGLE ONE. I've been informed that I'm a fan of stupid comedies. I'd have to agree with this person. If you like Rodney Dangerfield and Danny Devito, we'll get along swimmingly. I kind of went overboard on the movie room. It's like the Simpsons THX trailer.

C) Almost all of it except free-form jazz. Solo vocals from female singers who smoke and/or are alcoholics are a big pile of win. The late 70s, I could do without.

D) Italian! And some Mexican. Actually, pretty much anything that has meat and isn't too spicy. Cooking is a new thing for me, I'm almost to where I don't have to run out and buy every single ingredient in a new recipe. EDIT: Just got a KitchenAid! Cookies, ho!

If at all possible, I eat dessert first, and my favorite dish of all time is the Mississippi Mud Pie. If you're a foodie, you'll probably love that you get to introduce me to everything and hate that I can eat a Mississippi Mud Pie without turning into a manatee.

1) Vowels
2) Chocolate
3) Democracy
4) Competition
5) Chocolate
6) Friends and family, duh. :)

How to reconcile seizing the day with the pile of laundry on my ironing board.

Hosting a movie night or a potluck. Being intellectual. Maybe rock-climbing?

I'm not a partying person. They're fun, but I'm naturally quieter. I can be uber-social, but it's wearing after five or six hoursish, after which I want to retire to my blanket fort. If I want to take you with me, that means you made a good impression.

I secretly admire/envy people with good posture.

I haven't overtly offended you.

I suppose I ought to provide more direction here. People I tend to go for are intelligent, have their own lives, and are youthful in appearance but not maturity. Between the sheets, confidence never hurts.

Oh, something else: I tend to let correspondence from this site fall by the wayside when the real world gets real-- just FYI if the response window seems way past the point of decency. I don't hate you, I promise. (Unless you ate the last Oreo. And then it's on.)

En español: Encontré el cuarto de baño! Esta en la cabra!