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cahun

29 F Oxford, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:30am
Orientation
Gay
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 0″ (1.52m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Okay)

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My self-summary
I am feminist, a bibliophile and a logophile, occasionally high-femme, more often scruffy, vaguely geeky, really rather laid-back about many things, wildly enthusiastic about others. I believe that our professed ethics should be reflected in the way we treat one another in the here-and-now. I veer between earnest and ridiculous, and can't always tell the difference, but am usually ready to laugh at myself on the off-chance. Words are important, so I usually write/talk too much in the attempt to be clear and accurate. I listen carefully too. I might be as narcissistic as the length of this self-summary, and the number of times the letter 'I' appears in it, implies. I swear inventively and too much, and feel at home in old-man pubs. I might replace this whole section with a collection of terrible jokes.

Mostly looking for fun with like-minded people. Activism, thoughtful conversations, hiking, camping, wild swimming, and kinky sex all come under the heading of 'fun' - but not necessarily all at the same time. I'm here to meet people for the following: hanging out, exploring, maybe slutting about a bit, and making honest connections with people - not necessarily romantic or sexual connections, although that's nice too. I like people all over the gender spectrum - 'gay' doesn't really cover it, but I do have a strong preference for other queers. Bonus points if you're kinky. I don't really have a physical type, but dapper butches are pretty much guaranteed to turn my head. Important qualities are kindness and intellectual curiosity. Independence is important - both my own and other people's. Sense of humour greatly appreciated, generally loudly and often indelicately.

I also love reading, decent pubs, bright red lipstick, polka-dot dresses, dancing, long words, fireworks (go-bang ones and metaphorical ones), big ideas, black eyeliner, tattoos, great hats, plants, wildlife watching, philosophising, art galleries, theatre, talking bollocks at 3am, skinny-dipping, bad jokes.

What kind of cheese talks to itself?

Halloumi!
What I’m doing with my life
I'm just getting on with it - I work (in publishing, if you're the kind of person who likes to know these things), see people, walk the pup, do free fun things, write things, make things, try to stay happy.
I’m really good at
reading, keeping plants alive, lighting fires, cooking, dancing, discussing Important Things, teaching dog funny tricks, failing to teach cat anything at all, overthinking, writing too much in these boxes. Best at embarrassing myself by not applying some sort of verbal filter.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm usually accompanied by a 'lanky Fraggle dog'. The first thing people notice about him is that "he looks like that dog, from that children's book/comic/programme/movie..." He is generic Fun Mutt. He does not come on first (or many other) dates, however, I am not so blinded with love that I assume everyone likes him as much as I do. People either notice straight away or not at all that my eyes are different colours.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: My best ever book find was a first edition of the first ever Doctor Who novel, which I found for a few quid on a market stall. Or, no, The Book Of Moomin, Mymble, and Little My. Or maybe Disavoyals by Claude Cahun. I can never answer this question properly.

Movies: I like arty bollocks, subtitled stuff, decent Britcoms, terrible horror movies, brilliant horror movies, and anything featuring Clea DuVall. I love going to the cinema on my own (but rarely get the opportunity); it feels gloriously decadent. Saw Taxi Zum Klo like this (a film about the Berlin gay leather scene in the late 70s/early 80s), and felt like such a pervert. It was great. Not averse to making out in the back row if the movie's rubbish.

Shows: Recently discovered the best reality TV show ever - it's called Pitbulls and Parolees, and despite the somewhat exploitative implication of the title, it's genuinely awesome. I do like Graham Linehan shows, and, predictably, Game of Thrones. Fan theory: Brienne of Tarth makes most sense when read as a gay trans man, and also this makes the Brienne/Jaime scenes hotter. Buffy has been a long-term passion of mine since first viewing many years ago.

Music: I really like music, but if you're the kind of person who needs their lovers to share a musical taste, we're probably not going to work out. Play me music, dance with me, sing with me instead of telling me what I like is crap.

Food: Yes, I love it. Growing it, cooking it, eating it.
The six things I could never do without
People! Specifically, family (blood and chosen) and friends.
Arthur (puppy) and Moyah (cat)
Books
Music and art
My favourite hoodie
Regular access to the great outdoors.
Since doing this whole dating-multiple-people thing, turns out I need plenty of alone time to recharge. I know this makes the list total 7, but all of these things are important. Besides, 7 is a lucky number.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My thought flit about like a butterfly on crack. General topics include politics (I have firm but not unchanging views on politics - if you're interested, ask, but I don't feel like going into it here. If you ever say 'I'm just playing devil's advocate', I will assume that you do not have the courage of your convictions, and also that you are probably annoying), privilege and how to deconstruct it, the differences between calling oneself an ally and acting in solidarity, sexytimes, growing seasons, activism, pirates, chaos theory, friends, books, hot people I see in the street, how much my dog understands, whether I can teach him [thing]. I skip between deep ponderings and OOH SHINY with the alacrity and attention span of a squirrel on speed, but try to slow thought patterns and think less widely and more deeply.
On a typical Friday night I am
What is a typical Friday? I do not know. I cannot answer.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
There is one thing that I feel obliged to disclose, in case it's a dealbreaker: I prefer Miss Congeniality 2 to the original. Yes, I know. I'll just go hang my head in shame.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like girls
  • Ages 20–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You don't commit violence, racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, and are fine with the concept of polyamory (not necessarily a practitioner) and preferably a fan of fierce fat femmes (yes, I am picky).

You are comfortable with drawing and respecting boundaries.

You want to do something interesting!

You're looking to make authentic, ethical, honest connections with people. I don't have any expectations or pre-conceptions of how things 'should' go; I'm on here to see what happens - life is an adventure, after all!

You don't conflate being dominant with behaving like a complete arse, or being submissive with being a doormat.

You think you know where my screename comes from.

(Not all of these are mandatory - just realised this reads like a shopping list- more a collection of things that occurred to me while I was writing. Fuckit, message me anyway, it's nice to get messages.)