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27 Blackpool, UK Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–35
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
A little extra
Mostly anything
Other, and laughing about it
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of university
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
welcome to my profile, it's a bunch of words i've typed up at some point in my life. all of these words are my truth. truthful words either written and posted on facebook, or truthful words written from me to another. i have a strange affinity for words... i seem to be able to feel them, as if they truly capture the essence of one's soul. and here is my soul, in all it's humble glory. make of what you will from my words, my truth. am i a depressed poet? i don't know. i care much for labels, just know that these are words that i have used to expressed my thoughts and feelings at one time another. why? why this? well, this is who i truly am, i suppose? our thoughts and feelings... they too, are fleeting, as fleeting as life itself, but they capture the soul better than a photograph. they capture the soul better than the forced effort to make people like you on a dating site. this is who i truly am, or who i truly was, depending on your perspective. i wrote these words in the past, so is it really true to say that these words represent me, or more represent who i have been? i like thinking, i like words. sometimes i like people... sometimes i'm not depressed. i am currently 27/27 on the NHS depression test, so it feels great to get full marks in something. TEE HEE. and there i use humour to mask how dire my condition is, but where's the fun in being a killjoy? anyway. i'm here because, fates being kind, i won't ALWAYS be depressed. spring follows winter, day follows night, happiness follows sadness. and so i prepare for that day. i'm here to find wonderfully kind-hearted souls, in my wounded, vulnerable state. happy calum is very different to sad calum, if 2012 is anything to go by, so expect spontaneous, whirlwind adventures, childish charm, and sweet-boy romantic antics. but, maybe the next incarnation of calum won't resemble 2012 calum, who knows? maybe he'll resemble the calculating, cunning, callous calum of ages of past... i sure hope not. at the end of the day, i'm looking for a sweet girl that likes sweet boys. this is what i want right now, at least. i want kindred spirits. opposites may attract and all that jazz, but in my experience, opposites create discord and conflict. you see? i'm very wordy. i've never been this wordy. but this is who i am right now. very thoughtful, very kind, very wordy. i could type on and on, but i suppose that would be kinda narcissistic? i do quite enjoy writing though, it distracts me and gives me a temporary feeling of purpose. maybe because it's the only way i can truly get what's in my mind-space out into this world? i don't know. okay, i've typed enough. if you've read this far, then i suppose you've already made your mind up on whether you like me or not. the majority of people on here would have seen the walls of text and thought, "fuck this shit", and clicked [x]. but for the readers and writers and thinkers and feelers amongst you, hello. i am calum. welcome to my truth. smiley face. :)

i believe that we can only do what we're inspired to do, what we feel like doing. take from that what you will. consider everything you have not been inspired to do, consider everything you have been inspired to do. consider what you are doing presently. consider everything you are not doing presently. whatever. i was inspired to go outside today. i went outside. i wandered. i observed. i smiled. i laughed. i was almost brought to tears. i told a charity mugger to go to st annes because blackpool is full of poor people. i drummed on the railings of the promenade. i reflected on matters of fate, inspiration, and purpose. i tuned in to the music of life all around me. i was blessed with ideas. i found myself inspired to wander around the tower. to where my mother once worked in a fortune telling/tarot kiosk. it's nothing but an empty space now, but it's still there, in a different place in time. ghosts of the past, still there. i found myself inspired to enter the darkened room opposite. i imagined myself picking the pathetic padlock "guarding" the gift shop, i'm too good to do that, but i took great pride in knowing that i was at least capable of doing so, if i was that way inclined. the room had a few coin-operated attractions; a photobooth; and a couple of other machines not worth remembering. there was a fortune telling machine, but "oddly" enough, there was a fortune card that had been dispensed, but not collected. i took it. much more happened this day, but i don't feel inspired to write further about it. it was magical. or at least, there is a bastion of magic that still exists in this soulless, decrepit town. blackpool tower ballroom. magic lives there. memento mori.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
you are an actor
we are all actors
why do you doubt the direction you have been given?
do you doubt the director?
do you worry that the director will have you suffer some tragedy?
kill you off?
who cares, we're all killed off at some point
without tragedy to offset it, our blessings, our favours, our successes, our joys would lose their meaning
you can't have synonyms without antonyms, can you?
everything has opposites, and needs opposites, else it would be a flat and stagnant and meaningless existence
rejoice in suffering
celebrate your tragedy
for without them, pleasure and happiness would taste as bland as gruel

i do not want a synonymous existence
i'll settle for an anonymous existence
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
i just want to say
thank you
and i'm sorry if i upset you
i sometimes jump to the wrong conclusions if i'm upset about something
i didn't mean to take anything out on you
i was just really angry at everyone and everything, and it just pissed me off because i always feel labelled and misunderstood by everyone
i fucking hate that my entire life that people think i'm gay or some girl just because i'm kind and care about people. i thought being gay meant wanting to fuck guys, why are people so dumb. i have a quite rare personality type, so it's easy just to tell stupid cunt idiots that i'm a lesbian girl so that they can get it through their thick cunt skulls that i'm not a cock lover. but i just hate that some twats see me as a "girlfriend", i'm not a fucking girl just because i care, i just have a sensitive and caring personality. i have lots of feeling, maybe too much, yes, which is uncommon for a guy, only like 0.5% of people have my personality type, which makes me feel like a fucking alien and so alone. i'm sorry for any hurt i may have caused you.
you haven't wronged me
i feel like a dick, not guilt tripping you, just expressing that i feel remorse for what i said
but at least i was honest and true to my feelings
thank you for being awesome
these are really testing times for me, and i withdraw when my depression becomes too much, because it turns me into a les mis... heh. i don't want to put my darkness on you or anyone, i just want harmony
but i just got to breaking point and feel that i had to tell every fucker that i don't wanna suck cocks, because i hate that everyone is quick to call me gay or some shit simply because i don't wanna shag filthy thick slags... and when i'm in depressed hermit mode... like now... i don't want to be around anyone at all. i just hope you understand. you've always been kind to me, and patient, and caring
thank you
you know how the les mis is....
it sucks
i don't wanna kill your vibe
but i just had to get that off my chest
thank you for handling it well
i hope you are well
i just get really sad and deflated because most people are just utter cunts with no soul, no compassion, i know you're not
people have been really wicked to me, and usually i would have just cut them deep with soul destroying words, but that is not my way anymore
i just want to be kind
but it seems being kind is hard in this world
if you want to get anywhere you have to be a selfish wanker
i'm not looking for advice or help or anything from you or anyone
but i at least want to share some of my truth with you
i'm not a bad person, i'm just going through some bad times, i hope you understand
dark times...
i just want to be happy, like you do
i'm tired of shitcunt twats that just play drama games and shit
that aren't honest
snake people... you know the type
world of fucking snakes
i'm just tired of it, don't take it to heart
you aren't a snake
i just want to live in a world where people aren't cunts
i hate that i have to resort to cunt mode, put on the cunt mask, just to blend in... i just wish i could be myself without people labelling me or judging me
i'm so peaceful naturally, but i can be driven into a killing rage by cunts so easily
i just hate cunts
hateful people
why do they exist?
makes me wanna go dexter mode at times
getting sick of all the evil in this world
hope you are okay
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
if you want a cereal business answer, been a lot on my mind lately, got my psych tomorrow, and i've had some really rough days. i'm not worried/anxious about tomorrow, don't care how it goes, just going to let it unfold. just got a feeling of anticipation really, every scenario is playing in my mind, you must know how it is. the fountain of thoughts never ends, and i'm constantly receiving new inspirations and shit. i have stuff i need to write down, i'm a better writer than speaker when depressed, and my ability to recall important information is fucked. so yeah. idk. i hope you're alright. i have been thinking of you, i just don't tell people when i'm thinking of them, haha. i just hope tomorrow works out for me, it feels like my fate hangs in the balance. i just want it to be a good fate now. i'm really tired of feeling empty and bored and soulless and spending my entire life in front of a screen. can you relate? spending your entire life in front of a screen. i'm bored of it. i don't want to live this way. i don't want to be sat in front of a screen 10 years from now, doing the same shit that i am now and always have done. play a game. watch a movie. chat to people. it's not living. not to me. i'd rather take my own life than live like this, i truly would. i'm tired of being a fucking child living in dreamworld. i want to taste reality and happiness, taste purpose, just something that isn't this. i'd rather taste the looped end of a rope than this. i've saved up all my hope for this. i just want it to pay off. i've lost so many "friends" because of who i am now. i can't say i blame them for deserting me, a depressed friend is not really an asset. it's funny how they truly are fair-weather friends, and when i am better, this is how they will be regarded... and used... as such. if my strength returns to me, my cunning, my wit, my everything... i'll make sure everyone is paid in full. no doubt all the betrayers will want to tap in to my light and hover around me like fireflies, it's what they did before. but learn a lesson from this, grace, as soon as daylight turns to darkness, they abandon you for a new light. i've learned a lot about people, to such an extent where i'm not even sure i really want to be a part of the human race any longer. people... they vary so much. i don't know. this is my truth, and i'm sharing it with you. for all i know you might be a betrayer. i don't know. don't care at this point. just feel inspired to write this to you. i am just a sad soul. one day i might not be. sad soul becomes happy soul, people like to be around happy soul. you'll find two types of people: those that support you when you are sad, and those that abandon you when you are sad. i was much brighter back then. people liked me, everyone liked me. i didn't really care whether or not they liked me, but i was happy. i liked meeting people, being around people, doing stuff. now i am this. many couldn't take the dark version of me. i flipped from bright and happy and outgoing to dark and sad and reclusive. i wasn't that person i used to be. i can't blame any of them. light and shadow don't seem to mix, that is true. me, as shadow, i don't tend to want to mix with anyone. shadows like me, as misery likes company, i suppose. and there are some lights that try to pull me out of the shadows. but here i am, the shade of calum.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
chasing 2006, like everyone else. everyone has a 2006 of their own that they're chasing. okay, maybe not everyone. lucky you.
there's a story to this, but who cares? eat spaghetti on the internet. spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti. spaghetti bolognese, forever on the menu.
stuck in time, lost in time, just in time. fated to be late for the mad hatter's tea party. fated for jam tomorrow. fated for jam yesterday. but today? spaghetti. spaghetti bolognese.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
hurr durr we need more black people in jobs why aren't more black people managers, everything should be equal regardless of the underlying cultural and socioeconomic factors that we choose to ignore because surface level bullshit is easier to sway the idiots with. i know let's resort to affirmative action and up the numbers by employing more people based on the colour of their skin instead of personal merit. yeahhh good idea, we're guardian readers. the only single criteria should be whether they are the best candidate for the role based on their ability and merit. i'm sick of this do-good bullshit, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. why don't we have some guardian fucker speaking out about the % of black people on the jeremy kyle show? seems the majority of the shameless-tier underclass are white. but what do i know? i know that i know nothing. WE NEED A GOOD CANDIDATE FOR THIS JOB, JUST REMEMBER, HAS TO BE BLACK. WE NEED TO PROVE WE ARE A MULTICULTURAL AND PROGRESSIVE SOCIETY IF WE WANT THE VOTES. FIND ME THE BEST DAMN NON-WHITE YOU CAN. then we can eat quinoa in shoreditch and buy lumberjack shirts and instagram selfies. GSADGASGgagsadggGGGDFGAFGASDGASFD.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
i'm abolishing gender right now, everyone is now man, always has been, always will be. soul is man, man is soul. soul is not body, driver is not vehicle. you are not your chromosomes. you are not your sneakers. you are not your selfies. you are not your ship. be soul. FOR MANKIND. you female? you are man. you male? you are man. all is man. everyone is dude. everyone is bud. one universal standard for all. no more segregation. no gender. no race. no sexuality. no age. just soul. i am words. i am feelings. i am thoughts. i am inspirations. i am memories. i am dreams. i am actions. i am now. i am present. i am here. i am typing. i am sentient. i am alive. i am happy. i am listening to the rain. i am warm. i am the jam in the jar. i am not the label. i am finished typing.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're aware that night turns to day, and then depressed boy comes out to play
you are not a bunch of labels
you don't own a pair of beats by dre
your eyebrow game is not sharpie tier
you like strange boys
you've lost control of your life
you aren't going to shit on me emotionally
you aren't a broken mess looking for free therapy
you're not a witch
you're equally retarded