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37 M Portland, OR

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 27–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 7:12am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Full figured
Taurus, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.

Dusting this ol' thing back off... it worked once, maybe it will again. I'm a year older since I wrote this profile so just take everything and make it a little bit wiser. Easy, now my profile is updated.


Well here we are. I've been fighting this moment for quite some time. But here I am staring at a blank form on a website trying to summarize myself. Welllllll shit! It shouldn't be too hard, I've lived with myself for most my life, surely I can sum myself in a way that will get someone to read far enough down to find out that we like the same movies.

Yup, piece of cake... but do I go serious and list impressive feats I've accomplished? Talk about all the places in the world I've traveled to? Or maybe keep it light and show off my sense of humor? Gah, why am I asking you? You've already done this. This was a piece of cake for you. GOSH DARN IT YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE IN TUNE WITH YOURSELF THAN I AM!!!

Jesus, there goes my temper, I've surely ruined my chances by now. Wait, I don't REALLY have a temper, that's just me showing off that sense of humor. Or was it? Fuck I'm confused now... sigh, I give up. (I don't really have a temper, I swear!)

Anyways... I like hiking, bulldogs, hot dogs, star gazing, swimming, whiskey, buying records, selling records, listening to records, DJin' records in bars, DJing records on the radio, waking up at 6am to watch football (European ... Tottenham Hotspur!), going from the soccer bar to the football bar to watch football (American ... Baltimore Ravens), cooking, eating stuff I cooked, eating stuff other people cooked, going to the gym a lot so I can try to justify eating those things, travelling, day trips, night trips, yard sales, estate sales, porch sitting, bike riding, and lots of other things.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Gitn'er dun and all that. I have a normal job that is boring and we won't talk about that here. You will eventually ask me to explain it and I will tell you that the more I explain it he more boring it will sound. You will insist that you are really interested and I will proceed to explain it while I watch your eyes glaze over as you feign interest. It's nice of you to try to pretend to be interested, really it is.

I also have a side life that is considerably less boring, or at least I think so. I play music, pretty weird music I suppose, and I've been lucky enough to have been able to travel all over to play it. That part is fun. But truthfully often times when I'm running around having "fun" on tour I am secretly day dreaming of being back in Portland at my "normal" boring job. Not sure what that says about me.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Crossword puzzles.

ok ok ok, that's kind of stretching the tru... erm, lying. It would be so cool if I were better at them. It just felt impressive putting it up there. I mean, I'm not bad... like, I can wreck a Monday or Tuesday crossword puzzle on a good day, but let's get real, Sunday crosswords suck. Who the heck wants to try to figure out the 1943 Tony Award winner for best song in a musical? Can we get some crossword puzzle authors under the age of 90 please?

I'm also really good at Scrabble, not because I have a good vocabulary, but rather because I am good at sneaking three letter words on to the Triple Word Score so you can't, and I'll drop Qi all over your shit. It annoys all my actually smart friends.

I'm also very proud of my ability to be horribly unphotogenic. It's bad enough to where people at the DMV ask me if I want to retake my photos, to which I tell them that it won't matter, but take it again only to have them eventually agree that it's hopeless.

I'm currently trying to find the worst ever photo of me to immortalize is a laser-etched crystal.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
It's probably the hair. I've been mostly grey/silver (or rather all grey at this point) since early high school. You can't realllllly call it premature at this point, but yeah. Today at Goodwill after the clerk asked if I had a Goodwill card he asked if I was over 55. I was too bummed out to answer yes to find out if that meant that I got a discount or if he was just going to laugh at me for being old. sigh.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
OK you made it here. GREAT! Now let's see if we like the same stuff, because let's get real who wants to spend our already imagined long future fighting over what CD(or tape, whatever, who cares?) to put on in the kitchen or what not? Not me that's for sure. So that means you should like all of the following: rap AND country, dub, dancehall, african disco, ambient, drone, house, juke, doom, Thai golam music, Algerian rai, festivals (the Egyptian music, duh but you already know that because you are perfect and we are perfectly compatible), techno, free jazz, Canadian proto-grunge rave... ok I'm just making stuff up at this point. It really doesn't matter, I just think it's weird when people say they don't really listen to music. This was basically just the long way of saying I like a lot of music. I will make you the best mix tape/cd/playlist/youtube list ever.... I promise. Here's a link to past radio shows of mine if you are so inclined:

As for books, in my minds eye I read books A LOT! Like smart people books and stuff. When you imagine me relaxing I want you to imagine me reading something intently and occasionally furrowing my brow or nodding in approval. In reality I just never get around to it. When i travel I get some reading, especially on the beach. Put me on a beach and I'll read the fuck out of some book(s).

Movies, love movies... yup, sure do. Here are some people that make movies I love: Nicholas Roeg, Marco Ferreri, John Cassavettes, Ingmar Bergmann, Apichatpong Weerasethakul, Goddard, Fellini, Lars Von Trier(well, I'm not going to defend this man's entire catalog, but seriously, you can't deny this freak)... fuck it Wes Anderson... I love Wes Anderson, there I said it. I dunno, I like talking animal movies a lot as well. Oh and people switching bodies movies too, those are the best. A friend of mine once said that there is no such thing as a bad movie and I'm mostly inclined to agree, though I really hate Todd Solondz so maybe not.

I don't watch a ton of television, ever since the Wire ended I haven't really found another show that has totally grabbed my attention... ok, I can't lie, I have been watching Game of Thrones on the regular. It feels good to admit that. I also will occassionally fall asleep to episodes of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I'm not sure how much I like the show, but I find it soothing to fall asleep to people yelling, I miss that about Baltimore.

And clearly I like food quite a bit. I'm a big guy, big guys like food. Any big guy that tells you he doesn't like food is straight lying to your face. I tend to be an adventurous eater, nothing is too weird to try once. Case in point, I once at tuna sperm. True story. Will I eat it again? Probably not. But I ate it, oh boy did I ever.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
snarky answer
snarky answer
snarky answer
snarky answer
one more snarky answer
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to take the world more seriously and myself less seriously at the same time.

Space...*stoner voice* Seriously, that shit is fucked up if you really think about it.

I'm also currently thinking about how to change my Internet habits so that the beardy guy with the dumb boxing boxer dog ad will stop showing up for me on this site.

I am also now wondering if the amount of women in the world that are obsessed with zombies is proportionate to the ones on here that are. If so, that's a lot of zombie obsessed women, weird. Don't even get me started on mustache pictures.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Cataloging the week's highlights and lowlights and thinking about how I can make next week better.
SIKE... who knows? Whatever it is it probably involves a beer or 5
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
There is no such thing as Canadian Proto-Grunge Wave. I made it up. Sorry.

I hate Paul Simon... his music and his person. Paul Simon and zombies... can we move past these two things as a people please.

Annnd, even though open-minded-ish answers towards the "open-relationship" type questions have led me to have a much higher match type thing with the polyamourus set, I am more more desiring of a monogamous relationship with one single woman. But you know, don't do the crossword in pen and all that.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are cool and live somewhere cool in the world and want to tell me about it/become friends so someday when I go to that place you can show me what's cool. Cool?
You have questions to ask me.
You want to hang out.
You want to make fun of me.
You are good at making fun of me.
You want to spend a Sunday at the racetrack betting on horses.
You are a nerd. (Seriously I know this is like the Portland "thing", but really I tend to get on with "nerds" better than non-nerds)
You want to correct my grammar/spelling.
You secretly like sports.
You are a fortune teller that wants to warn me about something horrible that will happen to me.
Actually if you are the last one can you PLEASE message me. Thanks!

Also, I'm pretty hesitant to write women on this site for a handful of reasons, mainly because I'm very aware of how many messages the average woman gets here and how ridiculously awful many of them are. And while I don't fear that my messages would ever fall in to the awful category I do worry about adding to the imagined large pile of messages. This is somewhat silly I know, yet it stops me from writing 95% of the time. I'm working on it. In the meantime if you see me creeping and want to toss me a line, please do.