Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


31 M Canton, OH

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Sep 17
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Trying to quit
Not at all
Atheism, and laughing about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Banking / Finance
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
What I know about myself is this:

Nothing... the signs are there that I'm a human person, but I haven't had it confirmed scientifically.

What I suspect about myself might be this:

I'm smart and kind, but I have my limits. I love being excited about things, but I have a healthy sense of dread. Making people laugh gives me endless joy, but I've learned that sometimes taking things seriously is necessary even when it spoils the mood.

Lookit, it takes me a long time to get to know people. I'm not in the habit of prematurely extrapolating things people say into absurd prejudgments. I don't do assumptions, guesses, or hunches, if I can help it.

What I'm saying is, if I have to summarize myself, that I have a lot of skepticism about my own motivations, about other people, and about the world. But I'm also not stupid enough to think I know what I'm saying. Jeezy Pete, I hope you're smart enough to figure it out.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have a goddamn B.A. in English. While I enjoyed the process of earning it quite a bit, I enjoy the prestige and material rewards of having it less so. But I have no regrets. I know more than most people about Middle and Old English literature and language, which are totally awesome, and I'm kind of a big fan of syntax too.

I currently work for a large regional banking institution, doing neat corporate stuff. It wouldn't have been my dream job in a million years, but it gives me a chance to be a badass and have no idea what I'm doing in the same day. Really putting my English degree to good use...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
1. Starting lists that don't really go anywhere
2. Screw it I'm tired

Truly, I'm not someone who finds the expression of confidence to be a virtue, even when it seems to be justified. Living in the world has taught me to do the things I'm good at rather than telling other people what I think they are. There's no shortage of ways to make someone a liar, but what we do speaks for itself, and can't readily be undone.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My beard tends to catch the eye first. I know this because of how many women spontaneously cross the street when they see me walking toward them.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I don't think there's any chance I could list all of the books, movies, shows, music, and food I like, and I can't imagine a universe where I would feel like doing it anyway, because then I'd be excluding a great many things too, but I guess some basics might be edifying.

First, you can see some of what books I've read and liked here, although I don't really update this thing or have any interest in ensuring that it's complete or accurate:

Like I said, I'm a big fan of medieval literature, so when it comes to, say, modern and/or American stuff, I'm not really much of an expert. Sit me down with some Chaucer or Cædmon's Hymn and I'm happy as a clam, but most literary works written in the 20th century are going to be a real chore. Accordingly, most of my pleasure reading tends toward popular and historical novels, Romantic-era fiction, and stuff about medieval Europe or antiquity.

I've read all (some) of the big franchises out recently... Harry Potter, Hunger Games, the Millennium trilogy, etc., and I can dig most of them. On the other hand, I find the works of Stephenie Meyer, Dan Brown, and Christopher Paolini so terrible I haven't been able to finish one yet. So, sorry if you like those, but you really shouldn't.

As for movies, I can find a reason to like most of the ones I see. I'm trying to creep into some critical work on book-to-film adaptation, so lately I've been watching a lot of those... (which is also why I've paid particular attention to the popular novel series I mentioned). I also love Spaghetti Westerns, Kurosawa, Wes Anderson, the Coen brothers, Christopher Guest, Star Trek, a range of anime titles, and Tarantino.

I don't watch too many TV shows regularly, but I used to try not to miss Jeopardy! or Chopped (a pleasure I do not feel guilty about, tyvm). Arrested Development, the Star Treks, many AMC, HBO, Showtime series, 30 Rock, Law & Order (classic), and both The Offices are among what I consider the best and most entertaining television of my adulthood.

Music perplexes me. Well, how other people talk and seem to think about music perplexes me. I have bands, songs, composers, instruments, and genres that I like quite a bit, but it really never occurs to me to listen to music unless I'm craving one or more of the above in particular. The notion of always having music playing as some sort of soundtrack for day-to-day activities seems bizarre to me.

When I am to be found listening to music though, I especially like: Enon, The Dismemberment Plan, Pavement, Belle and Sebastian, God Help the Girl, Gigi (Maintenant), Ennio Morricone, Daft Punk, Fleet Foxes, The Ball Sisters Band, Beethoven, Lucky Soul, and George Gershwin.

And last, but foremost, food... I'm a pretty decent cook, and I love Tex Mex and Caribbean food, Italian-American classics, a variety of Indian cuisines, the little bit of Thai I've been exposed to, Greek, classical French (as though I could afford it) and above all pizza. Pizza is the greatest food, the only food civilization really requires. If pizza is not available, for some apocalyptic reason, and I'm too tired to cook, I frequently end up stopping at Swensons or Chipotle. A bit too frequently, my belt informs me...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The important thing is not "could not do without," it's "have done without and it wasn't such a big deal." I find people are wrong often enough about what they can do without that I don't really put much stock in estimates of what they can't.

But to be fair, if you take my phone away I will cut you.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
what I should have been thinking about earlier, when I was thinking about what I should have been thinking about before that.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
You know, on a Friday night I'm probably still thinking about work. Once in a while I'll have dinner with family or friends, catch a movie or a sporting event, or go for a drive, but lately feel like I need the evening to recover from the week.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm shy, aimless, and often exhausted, so OkCupid remains one of few viable ways I can think of to meet people. But I fear I really don't have the heart for it anymore. I'm no salesman, or mastermind, so I'm just here, doing my best to be what I am, and holding on to the promise of the words "maybe this time."
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Well, if you feel like one or more of these items describes you.

1. You have some notion about what you're doing with yourself, even (or especially) if it wasn't what you planned or dreamed.

2. You have something to say about my interests or opinions--or more realistically, there's something you want to elicit lengthy comments about.

3. You're interested in things not only because you have to be for work or school or fitting in.

4. You understand clearly the difference between hating something and having no love for it.

5. You can wear the hell out of a baseball cap.

6. You don't lose interest in a list of things after six items.

7. You'd rather seek contentment than novelty. Antsy people who obsess over trying new things make me sigh.